@an1992, sorry to hear about your troubles. Here are my 2 cents.
The loudness and fluctuation of your tinnitus will not change before your reaction to your tinnitus changes. The tinnitus feeds off your reaction and the attention it gets. Once you start reacting less, the tinnitus will start to change.
You describe some instances as "totally unbearable". With time your brain will adapt and those same instances will become "somewhat bearable". Then they will become just "bearable" until they are "totally bearable" and in the end "outside of your awareness". That is just how our brains work. But our brains need: time.
I used to wake up every day with the first thought being, how is my tinnitus now and will it be this way the entire day? I had (or may still have) large differences from day to day. But nowadays I don't notice differences anymore because my tinnitus is mostly outside of my awareness. And when it enters my awareness, it's just that: something that I am aware of. It does not hold any other value.
FYI, I can still make my tinnitus sound very loud when I focus on it. But I can not focus very long because I get distracted with other things, I just lose attention. It used to be the other way around that the tinnitus dominated my focus all day long. Now it's hard for me to focus on it. Again, that is just how our brains work.
So maybe it will be more helpful if you focus more on your reaction to tinnitus than on the tinnitus itself. Or better yet, try to not focus on anything., just let it be and power through.
Hope this helps.
