Gazpachot

Hello fellow Tinnitusans!

I have been living with severe tinnitus for at least 39 years. As we know, it's been hell. I expect to have it for the rest of my life barring some medical miracle, the possibility of which I don't discount.

The possible causes of my tinnitus are a bit fuzzy, and extremely cringeworthy, but I will share them because I have come to accept the errors of my childhood. I primarily believe the damage occurred when I was a precocious (i.e. stupid) 14 year old at a very loud rock show with a bunch of friends. To show them just how cool I was, I stuck my head deep inside the massive floor-standing loud speaker cone for a long time during a particularly expressive number. Hundreds of decibels pounding into my young eardrums. This seems like a likely culprit though I can't be sure. I've also had several head injuries over the year, one right around the time of said concert, when I was knocked out by hanging with all my weight on a boxing heavy bag, that (of course) snapped and fell onto me with all of its weight. I was quite a kid.

Anyhow, I'm here. I'm glad to be a part of this community and I hope I can learn something. I'm happy to share any aspect of my tinnitus experience. I'm interested in learning about the different types of tinnitus. I think maybe I have two types - one that is constant and holds a slightly different pitch in each ear - tonally, they are just off by a fraction, creating what could be the ugliest paring of notes ever known to humanity. Fun! I notice the second variation (which could just be a spinoff of the first) in which the the tinnitus gets much louder in my head when I'm running (sound increases on every downstep) or twisting my body (and especially my neck) in different directions.

Humor is key. My other trick is to call them 'my better angels' calling out to me at all times - like sirens on a rock - beckoning me to become my best self. So far I'm shy of the mark.

All my best to everyone here...

Paul