BlueMoon86

My germ factory nephew has given me a cold. Great. Who gets a cold in August? I'm congested and miserable as hell. Wish I had a drink....

Having headaches every single day now. Thought it was the drinking but I gave that up almost a week ago now.

I don't want to talk about the "distress" like anything can be done. It's so fucking annoying.

Sick of hearing the words "tinnitus distress". Of course I'm distressed. I can sit next to a 70db fan and still hear the noise in my ear.

Tinnitus is a two tier nightmare for me. It's ruined my everyday life and it's ruined my ability to escape from my everyday life.

I wish my parents were gone. I wish I could just kill myself without hurting anyone. I love my mum so much. I can't.

I'd rather have eeeeeeeee. I'd rather have crickets/white noise. This massive low frequency drone just destroys me.

If you don't have LF hearing loss you'll never know how this feels. 250 to 2000hz is my cochlear dead region. Nothing but DURRRRRR 24/7.

Never mind napping. I can't sleep. The noise is too much. I have woken up twice to terrifying roaring. I am drinking to try and calm down.

Today the T has mostly been below the noise of the huge fan. Had a nap. BIG MISTAKE. HUGE SPIKE. I cannot nap.

The occlusion effect is apparently especially bad with low frequencies. My hearing loss and T is low frequency so that makes sense.

Never used to be this way. I slept on the deaf side for months with no problem. Used to wake up to reduced sound, now it's skull splitting.

Sleeping is complicated. Lean to the deaf side I get occlusion effect hissing. Lean to the hearing side I get overwhelmed by droning.

I just don't feel things anymore. I am not moved by things any more. That's what this has done to me.

I watched a film with my dad last year that brought me to tears. I couldn't imagine doing that now with this massive DURRRR noise in my ear.

Can I enjoy any of those things though? Feel them? Lose myself in them, in the memories, in the moment? No. No I can't.

My mum says I need to try. I need to still do those things every day just like I used to. I need to do all the things we used to do.

Can I still watch TV and hear it? Yes. Can I play a video game and hear it? Yes. Can I listen to music and hear it? Yes.

I was always destined to be at a catastrophic level, even if I didn't have hearing loss and start pretty severe.

I would have blown even the mildest noise out of proportion as I see so many on other forums do. Tinnitus and I are incompatible.

My tinnitus is very loud but I have to be honest, no level other than zero would have ever been acceptable to me.

I put a portable fan to my working ear and didn't hear my tinnitus. I put said fan against my decibel metre. 82.8 decibels. I want to die.

I remember when 40ish db sound therapy would sort of cover it. Up at 60-70db these days, T towers over that.

Audiologist tried to say that is normal but it's not. Tinnitus has been way worse as well, sounds like a bi-plane is flying next to my ear.

My hearing has now dropped 15db into the moderately severe range at 250hz. From 45db to 60 in a few days.

@BlueMoon86 mine was caused from Covid. I had Covid twice and tinnitus both times just ringing in ears it went away both times. Came back the next year 10 times worse. Buzzing, static electricity both ears and my whole head. I went to ENT and tinnitus clinic. I have extended high frequency cochlear sensorineural hearing loss and tinnitus. They said my hairs inside are damaged.Mine is never quit always 24/7.

@BlueMoon86 I know how you feel so sorry you went through that. My LULU died at home with my husband and I was at work. She had been to vet a few days before and was giving her medicine then she almost quit eating so I had to quit medicine. I was devastated when I found out.

Of course when I woke up again 2 hours later it was the usual hellish 10/10 nightmare level.

For about 5-10 minutes, it was like it wasn't there. That hasn't happened since December last year.

Had a drink last night before bed. Woke up at 6 in the morning because I was thirsty and oh my god my T was virtually silent.