BlueMoon86

I've gone through a lot in my life. It's not been a bed of roses. i can't believe a stupid fake noise has brought me this low.

So loud today. Usually it's low frequency droning in the left, today it was more like static in my whole head. I'm scared.

One doctor told me to "try white noise" and that is the only tinnitus related advice I have ever been given.

I have not been seen by a medical person who has tinnitus or seems to understand the effect it can have.

She was completely blank faced when I talked about tinnitus. It's not as common as statistics say imo.

Had a doctor's appointment today. She tried to push antidepressants to which I said no. "I don't know what you want me to do" she said.

Hi, I read you worked with animals, I would like to work with dogs but I can’t stand the barking, I hope you feel better soon

Another part of me that tinnitus has stolen, along with my peace of mind, hobbies, relationships and ability to function. I'm waiting to die

I have had near waist length hair since I was single digit age. Yesterday I had it cut to my neck. No mental energy to maintain it anymore.

My germ factory nephew has given me a cold. Great. Who gets a cold in August? I'm congested and miserable as hell. Wish I had a drink....

Having headaches every single day now. Thought it was the drinking but I gave that up almost a week ago now.

I don't want to talk about the "distress" like anything can be done. It's so fucking annoying.

Sick of hearing the words "tinnitus distress". Of course I'm distressed. I can sit next to a 70db fan and still hear the noise in my ear.

Tinnitus is a two tier nightmare for me. It's ruined my everyday life and it's ruined my ability to escape from my everyday life.

I wish my parents were gone. I wish I could just kill myself without hurting anyone. I love my mum so much. I can't.

I'd rather have eeeeeeeee. I'd rather have crickets/white noise. This massive low frequency drone just destroys me.

If you don't have LF hearing loss you'll never know how this feels. 250 to 2000hz is my cochlear dead region. Nothing but DURRRRRR 24/7.

Never mind napping. I can't sleep. The noise is too much. I have woken up twice to terrifying roaring. I am drinking to try and calm down.

Today the T has mostly been below the noise of the huge fan. Had a nap. BIG MISTAKE. HUGE SPIKE. I cannot nap.

The occlusion effect is apparently especially bad with low frequencies. My hearing loss and T is low frequency so that makes sense.

Never used to be this way. I slept on the deaf side for months with no problem. Used to wake up to reduced sound, now it's skull splitting.

Sleeping is complicated. Lean to the deaf side I get occlusion effect hissing. Lean to the hearing side I get overwhelmed by droning.

I just don't feel things anymore. I am not moved by things any more. That's what this has done to me.

I watched a film with my dad last year that brought me to tears. I couldn't imagine doing that now with this massive DURRRR noise in my ear.

Can I enjoy any of those things though? Feel them? Lose myself in them, in the memories, in the moment? No. No I can't.

My mum says I need to try. I need to still do those things every day just like I used to. I need to do all the things we used to do.

Can I still watch TV and hear it? Yes. Can I play a video game and hear it? Yes. Can I listen to music and hear it? Yes.

I was always destined to be at a catastrophic level, even if I didn't have hearing loss and start pretty severe.

I would have blown even the mildest noise out of proportion as I see so many on other forums do. Tinnitus and I are incompatible.

My tinnitus is very loud but I have to be honest, no level other than zero would have ever been acceptable to me.