“You Should Try Yoga”

[Orions Pain]

I'm really sorry, I can't offer any help, just empathy, and I'm sorry for venting here, in your post.

I had my 4 month anniversary on Valentine's day and I truly feel everything you said, like everything had been taken away from me. I'm still struggling awfully. (No surprise, because I've been wallowing here since October.)

Lately (knock on wood) I have been sleeping more and a bit better than before (like 4-5 hours with waking up quite a lot, but it's better than 2-3 hours), but tinnitus is not improving. Still fluctuates, still migrates between ears, still this shrill, screaching sound.

I'm so freaking fed up with everything right now, I want to crawl out of my skin. I know, that tinnitus is annoying for relatives of sufferers as well, because they just can't understand it, and are unable to help, but I feel like my family is getting mad at me. Like they blame me for "not trying hard enough" to seek treatment options, doctors, alternative options. But for heaven's sake, I went to 4 ENTs, neurologists, MRI, carotid doppler, rtg, 2 audiologists. Where should I go next? I read the Internet, read the thesis of the best tinnitus specialist in my country and it's pretty clear that without a miracle right now there is no surefire way to get rid of tinnitus. I was looking for a cause, but now that I have a chance based on my latest audiogram of having otosclerosis, I'm even more hopeless.

When people who don't have it offer opinion about my depression being the definitive cause, me not being positive enough being the burden of my improving, me not having enough faith being the biggest problem, I just feel totally misunderstood and rage or total frustration depending on my mood.
And they totally don't get my fear of it getting worse, my fear of loud sounds, because "XY has ringing for years and they live a full life, attending concerts, and theirs hasn't changed." Okay... I know, I'm not easy to be around right now, but it's not baseless hysteria to avoid loud noises as much as possible.

This is exactly why I fear of going to more doctors because the changes of them actually helping me are slim. Mostly gonna do it so my family stops telling me to stop self diagnosing myself. How old are you if you don't mind me asking?

 

[Shera]

I was 26 when I got T and this was almost my 3 month mark as well. My T was mild at that point. 4 months is when it got severe T. And anything and everything I did made the volume change, new noises come and go constantly. Spikes and eventually H and so on. At one point I was afraid to take showers because it could make it worse. (Yuck!) I honestly think that Yoga and Massage helped to finally even out my crazy T and at least get it to a more stable point. I'm to my 3 year and 3 month point and it's stabilized enough that I feel calmer.

I got mine from and injury and reinjury made it worse. The yoga is good for helping to try and refocus your mind and make you calm with T. Not to mention it was really good for my muscles. Cause if my neck and body are tense I know my T gets louder.

I think the main thing is to focus on how much you want to live. Fight for everyday and it does ease up. It's hard, but it does. Like many say the first months to years are the worse. Take it a minute at a time, hour, day, and so on. You're in the bad zone/place right now.

 

[Orions Pain]

I was 26 when I got T and this was almost my 3 month mark as well. My T was mild at that point. 4 months is when it got severe T. And anything and everything I did made the volume change, new noises come and go constantly. Spikes and eventually H and so on. At one point I was afraid to take showers because it could make it worse. (Yuck!) I honestly think that Yoga and Massage helped to finally even out my crazy T and at least get it to a more stable point. I'm to my 3 year and 3 month point and it's stabilized enough that I feel calmer.

I got mine from and injury and reinjury made it worse. The yoga is good for helping to try and refocus your mind and make you calm with T. Not to mention it was really good for my muscles. Cause if my neck and body are tense I know my T gets louder.

I think the main thing is to focus on how much you want to live. Fight for everyday and it does ease up. It's hard, but it does. Like many say the first months to years are the worse. Take it a minute at a time, hour, day, and so on. You're in the bad zone/place right now.

Ironically I am thinking of trying Yoga because all of this stress have taken a toll on my neck and back. I went from going to the gym 5 days a week to spending my days in bed when I'm not at work all of which have taken a toll on my body

I know if I continue on this path I'm going to develop even more medical issues but I can't seem to drag myself to a yoga studio

Without music and headphones it's not enjoyable anymore. Plus most gyms are extremely loud and I injured my foot in the fall so I'm worried about aggravating that further

 

[Shera]

Ironically I am thinking of trying Yoga because all of this stress have taken a toll on my neck and back. I went from going to the gym 5 days a week to spending my days in bed when I'm not at work all of which have taken a toll on my body

I know if I continue on this path I'm going to develop even more medical issues but I can't seem to drag myself to a yoga studio

Without music and headphones it's not enjoyable anymore. Plus most gyms are extremely loud and I injured my foot in the fall so I'm worried about aggravating that further

I get you. Check out this channel. https://www.youtube.com/user/yogatx I use these videos for at home Yoga. It has some back ground noise, but you can put your own over it if you need a little extra oomph.

I also suggest dancing. At home. I use my Xbox 360. Don't underestimate the power and uplifting magic of dance!!! (Also, Xbox has Yoga and other exercise things. If you don't have Xbox use youtube.) My T can still drag me down so I play a never fail song and dance it out. Or a tutorial video.

And I feel you. Tinnitus brought on so many things that I had never experienced. Severe insomnia for over 1 and mild for another. I had never experienced anxiety, depression or suicidal thoughts before tinnitus. It can just knock you flat. Because you're not just getting Tinnitus. I'd suggest a therapist, who can deal with tinnitus, or find a buddy from TT. I've got an amazing person from TT that started chatting with me, we started email, and we've been support buddies for almost as long as I've had T. It's amazing how much it helps. We're frank with each other about how we're feeling and chat about other things besides T. In fact, we're great friends now.

 

[zombiechick]

Thank you so much for this. It's honestly so nice to hear that it's not impossible as I've always looked forward to being a mom and I love kids. I just fear that I won't be able to meet anyone with this condition let alone have kids which has been the main source of my depression as I'm just afraid of ending up alone

When I got tinnitus, I was married to an abusive asshole who made me feel awful. Like I said, a lot can change and you never know what could happen in 3 or 4 years. Trust me.

 

[Kriszti]

This is exactly why I fear of going to more doctors because the changes of them actually helping me are slim. Mostly gonna do it so my family stops telling me to stop self diagnosing myself. How old are you if you don't mind me asking?

31. I had my first (horrible) experience at an audiologist on my birthday. That was probably the first day when I wanted to kill myself because of tinnitus (1 week in). And not the last.
I'm scared of getting to doctors and alternative therapists as well, because I just can't never know what can make the ringing worse. And doctors definitely don't know. They just know that healthy people don't have problems with certain types of tests.

I hate this life. Yesterday I went to a Home Depot type of shop to look for tiles, and the place was not loud at all, around 50-60 dB. Except the alarming sound that the machines used to move the stuff around made. I was freaking out even though I was wearing earplugs. I just can't deal with this ever-present fear of sounds, but I know that I can't live in my room...

My family basically waits for me to heal and be back in my old life. They just don't understand that it's likely not gonna happen. Even if I' m trying to cling on hope that tinnitus will get better, I will always have PTSD.

 

[acute]

I feel exactly like you. I subscribe each and every one of your words. I'm 26 years old too. 10 months with this damn beast in my head.

I am so sorry to hear your pain, I completely understand.

We are young. We do not deserve to suffer in this way at such an early age.

People have already had the opportunity to live their lives quietly, in silence and in peace. This torment called tinnitus comes to us too early in our lives. It's just unfair.

 

[Kriszti]

Thank you Denise! If anything having H has made T seem less scary. I pray that this sensitivity goes away, it's hard but I keep telling myself to give it time.

I can't link you anything, but I've been reading TT since October daily and I came across lots of personal stories when hyperacusis did improve and even went away. Keep holding on!

 

[Sash]

I feel exactly like you. I subscribe each and every one of your words. I'm 26 years old too. 10 months with this damn beast in my head.

I am so sorry to hear your pain, I completely understand.

We are young. We do not deserve to suffer in this way at such an early age.

People have already had the opportunity to live their lives quietly, in silence and in peace. This torment called tinnitus comes to us too early in our lives. It's just unfair.

I agree it is unfair. Just seeing a lot more young people suffering with Tinnitus and Hyperacusis which makes me so so so sad.

When you are in your twenties you are just starting and meeting people having fun in noisy environments. Socialising just means everything trying to find a spouse making friends etc, going out getting drunk. When you are older then perhaps you have got all this out of your system, have a family and career, Travel, made friends therefore noisy environments don't matter so much as you have other priorities. I have had my fun to a degree - do desperately miss the dancing and music - life is so so dull but like with nearly everything in life there is always end date.

With age you do become more resilience as you may have suffered some knocks in life but bounced back, T & H is hard at any age but life experiences just perhaps make you stronger to deal with challenges in life. I know I would not have handled Tinnitus and Hyperacusis at 26 as I was just immature and had no understanding of life.

 

[Orions Pain]

31. I had my first (horrible) experience at an audiologist on my birthday. That was probably the first day when I wanted to kill myself because of tinnitus (1 week in). And not the last.
I'm scared of getting to doctors and alternative therapists as well, because I just can't never know what can make the ringing worse. And doctors definitely don't know. They just know that healthy people don't have problems with certain types of tests.

I hate this life. Yesterday I went to a Home Depot type of shop to look for tiles, and the place was not loud at all, around 50-60 dB. Except the alarming sound that the machines used to move the stuff around made. I was freaking out even though I was wearing earplugs. I just can't deal with this ever-present fear of sounds, but I know that I can't live in my room...

My family basically waits for me to heal and be back in my old life. They just don't understand that it's likely not gonna happen. Even if I' m trying to cling on hope that tinnitus will get better, I will always have PTSD.

I feel you so much, especially on the part about PTST. I wish I could just eradicate these last 3 months from my memory entirely. Lobotomy, anyone?

 

[Kriszti]

I feel you so much, especially on the part about PTST. I wish I could just eradicate these last 3 months from my memory entirely. Lobotomy, anyone?

GroupLobotomy. That would definitely be a bonding experience. Kind of cult-like, but at this point, who cares.

 

[Orions Pain]

@Kriszti Maybe if I'm lucky I'll have some sort of memory loss at some point in my life where all of this can be erased

Anyone here see MidSommar? Do places like that exist? I can wear ear plugs for the lamenting ceremonies.

Or Elon Musk will develop some sort of device that lets you delete memories. At this point I'd love to be a robot with no feelings.

Elon Musk's girlfriend apparently has pretty bad tinnitus, maybe it will get bad enough to a point where it will spark some interest with him as far as a treatment goes.

 

[Orions Pain]

I agree it is unfair. Just seeing a lot more young people suffering with Tinnitus and Hyperacusis which makes me so so so sad.

When you are in your twenties you are just starting and meeting people having fun in noisy environments. Socialising just means everything trying to find a spouse making friends etc, going out getting drunk. When you are older then perhaps you have got all this out of your system, have a family and career, Travel, made friends therefore noisy environments don't matter so much as you have other priorities. I have had my fun to a degree - do desperately miss the dancing and music - life is so so dull but like with nearly everything in life there is always end date.

With age you do become more resilience as you may have suffered some knocks in life but bounced back, T & H is hard at any age but life experiences just perhaps make you stronger to deal with challenges in life. I know I would not have handled Tinnitus and Hyperacusis at 26 as I was just immature and had no understanding of life.

I understand that replies like this mean well and this is a forum where people can post anything they'd like but man, it sure does hurt when I read older people saying how they can't imagine getting T & H at a young age

 

[Jack V]

@Kriszti
Or Elon Musk will develop some sort of device that lets you delete memories. At this point I'd love to be a robot with no feelings.

A good anti-depressant could turn you into a robot with no feelings

 

[Kriszti]

@Kriszti Maybe if I'm lucky I'll have some sort of memory loss at some point in my life where all of this can be erased

Anyone here see MidSommar? Do places like that exist? I can wear ear plugs for the lamenting ceremonies.

Or Elon Musk will develop some sort of device that lets you

Elon Musk's girlfriend apparently has pretty bad tinnitus, maybe it will get bad enough to a point where it will spark some interest with him as far as a treatment goes.

Elon Musk actually has some interest in treating tinnitus, there is a thread somewhere here on Tinnitus Talk on it.

 

[MichaelSF]

Ya my Dr. started me out on 10mg amitriptyline. Started taking 20mg after two weeks and now I'm up to 25mg. The low dose doesn't seem to help with depression at all but more so just function as a sleep aid. Ironically I wasn't having that much difficulty sleeping but that's what it ended up helping me with anyway. Difficult to say if it's made any impact on my tinnitus at all. There seems to be a slight risk of otoxicity so I wouldn't recommend it unless your tinnitus is noise-induced and you're really struggling for sleep.

Are you planning on going up to 50mg? I am interested in possibly starting it, but the reviews are mixed. Thanks!

 

[Tweedleman]

Are you planning on going up to 50mg? I am interested in possibly starting it, but the reviews are mixed. Thanks!

Nah. At this point I'm not having trouble sleeping with or without it. I've had a lot of good results with valerian root and melatonin. And I've always got some potent indica cannabis kicking around as well. Probably just gonna start using the amitriptyline only when absolutely necessary. I don't see myself ever getting any antidepressent effects out of it. The only thing that would relieve my depression is getting my old ears back. I know it's not the most ototoxic stuff in the world but eliminating it would be one less thing to worry about.

 

[ASilverLight]

I keep telling myself how unfair it is, but I'm trying not to. Lots of things in life are unfair, but that doesn't mean they're not real and don't happen. I keep going back and forth between being completely devastated, anxious, depressed and suicidal and being like, well, okay, I know several people with tinnitus who have completely normal lives and don't let it bother them. I realise most of them have mild tinnitus, as do I, most of the time, so I don't mean to discredit the suffering of those with more severe tinnitus. This is just my OWN PERSONAL way of trying to deal with my tinnitus.

All I can do is live life from day to day and distract myself as much as possible. Don't force anything, but don't succumb to my depression. Luckily I've had to do this for most of my life, so it's a bit easier to just get up and sit in the living room with the radio on. Even if that's all I manage to do, it makes me feel better being up and in a bright room.

What's making it the hardest for me is not so much the lack of silence but the exhaustion that comes with the worrying and the sudden shock, as well as the fact mine is never the same even one hour to the next. Knowing myself, I could easily get used to a soft tone the way I've gotten used to other chronic ailments... but that's just my ''luck''. Again, I don't mean to discredit anyone suffering and their own experiences. This is just mine.

Plus, I'm staying away from too much negativity on here and everywhere else. As much as I want to help others, right now I'm not in the right mindset, and accepting that is okay too. Take care of yourself the best you can, day by day.

 

[Orions Pain]

For the first 6 months I had hyperacusis that was bad enough that I couldn't handle being in restaurants and washing dishes, or even the sound of running water. It DID resolve for me, and even though I'm going through the worst spike I've ever experienced right now, my hyperacusis hasn't come back, so I hope that's encouraging.

Was yours loudness hyperacusis or the pain kind?

 

[ASilverLight]

Looking back on my previous post...

What I hate even more than not being able to properly rest anymore, is that my ears were the ONE part of me and my health that had never, not once, been a problem for me. Not once had they been a bother. Not a single ear infection. Nothing at all.

I've been unable to walk. There's something I can't do because of a condition I have and that's already really keeping me from being fully happy. My life hasn't really been great so far - many good, happy moments, but overall... bad.

But now I'm also dealing with this and what I keep wondering is when is enough, enough? On top of everything I now also have to deal with this and it's almost too much. I'm just tired of it all, and every time I get myself to a place where I feel a bit better about it all.... I break down again.

Really not having a good day, sorry. Needed to get this out somewhere.

 

[FGG]

Great, I can deal with my mom getting upset with me for my "self diagnosis" for another 3 months before I receive a little bit of sympathy

My mother completely does not get it and downplays it whenever I talk to her about it ("at least you have legs..."). I have stopped looking to her for support completely and eventually found better support in others. Are there friends you can trust with this pain?

 

[FGG]

Thank you so much for this. It's honestly so nice to hear that it's not impossible as I've always looked forward to being a mom and I love kids. I just fear that I won't be able to meet anyone with this condition let alone have kids which has been the main source of my depression as I'm just afraid of ending up alone

I have this fear too. I am 42 so I am pretty sure that's out of the question for me now.

But you are young enough where I would bet a decent amount of money that will absolutely not be the case for you.

 

[Orions Pain]

I have this fear too. I am 42 so I am pretty sure that's out of the question for me now.

But you are young enough where I would bet a decent amount of money that will absolutely not be the case for you.

If anything this whole experience has put me off having kids because now I'm just worried about what else can go wrong and I don't want to bring anyone in the world if I can't be a good parent. I just have this deep rooted fear of ending up absolutely alone in the world and not being healthy enough to take care of myself.

I keep telling myself marriage can also be problematic, and kids are also a huge gamble, you're never guaranteed the picture perfect family that you've always pictured. Idk if I could handle more problems.

 

[New Guy]

The first 3-4 months are unanimously the worst time you'll probably ever have to experience in your life. By 6 months some of the anxiety should be abating.

This is the truth.

 

[Orions Pain]

My mother completely does not get it and downplays it whenever I talk to her about it ("at least you have legs..."). I have stopped looking to her for support completely and eventually found better support in others. Are there friends you can trust with this pain?

I am so sorry I've definitely found out who my real friends are during this whole ordeal. I have a few people in my life that have their share of struggles, and I have found these people to be the most empathetic and helpful. I don't feel "crazy" when I tell them about my struggles.

 

[FGG]

I am so sorry I've definitely found out who my real friends are during this whole ordeal. I have a few people in my life that have their share of struggles, and I have found these people to be the most empathetic and helpful. I don't feel "crazy" when I tell them about my struggles.

There are a handful of people like that in my life, too, and I cherish them so much.

 

[linearb]

@Orions Pain - people who don't have to deal with this bullshit, don't know what it's like, can't know, and can only try to offer helpful advice that may feel shallow or misguided.

As someone who does have to deal with this bullshit, yoga/meditation are a big part of my happiness, and yoga specifically can have a directly calming effect on my tinnitus.

But, that stuff takes time, and any gains realized are likely to come slowly. It's good to rule out underlaying medical issues, but usually there aren't any.

 

[Jack V]

The first 3-4 months are unanimously the worst time you'll probably ever have to experience in your life. By 6 months some of the anxiety should be abating.

Going into month 3.

Unless my brain does some kind of magic trick, I can't fathom how this improves.

 

[Bill Bauer]

I'm still nowhere close to habituating.

Often it takes 2.5-3 years before one habituates.

If you have had any improvement, you will probably continue to improve and eventually get to the "can hear it only in quiet rooms" stage.

 

[OnceUponaTime]

I am so sorry I've definitely found out who my real friends are during this whole ordeal. I have a few people in my life that have their share of struggles, and I have found these people to be the most empathetic and helpful. I don't feel "crazy" when I tell them about my struggles.

We quickly find out who truly loves us, who our real friends are and who we can and cannot count on.