1 Month in and Starting to Function. But It's a Pain!

[David Ho]

Hi all,

My Tinnitus started a month ago completely out of the blue. As I recall it, I lay down to sleep and noticed a much increased "level of silence". I asked my wife "do you hear anything in silence?". She gave me the puzzled face. That was the beginning of the nightmare.
There's probably worst cases than me but it just seems freakishly loud. It's like having an old TV emitting static in your head at max volume 24/7 (other descriptions that resemble are "crickets" or a very high pitch hiss/grind sound). On top of that it's pulsating. Every time I do some exercise (even just walking) I can hear it go even louder in sync with my pulse. I can literally count my heartbeats when running (no need for a heart beat monitor anymore when running...). Even at rest the pulsatile is there but almost imperceptible.
Been to the ENT done the usual round of steroids and anti-virals with no results.
I think the first 2 weeks made it much worse because I couldn't get any sleep (literally) and was having the usual why me/it's not fair/end of life thoughts. It really is a vicious cycle. Finally got some benzodiazepines prescribed and managing to get 5-6 hours sleep but the intrusiveness is all still there.
Went to work finally for a few hours last 2 days but it's such a challenge. I used to love going to work and now I feel like a zombie just watching everyone relaxed and chatting about at lunch time, cracking jokes, etc. Concentrating is nothing short of torture.
As with many I really hope it gets better because everything is such a challenge at the moment. The only moment of peace is in the shower (water and gas bills must be going through the roof but who cares). I don't want to sound whinny but it really is a tough nut to crack and this point I just don't see how I can ever ignore this horrible sound and just be the old me.

 

[James Brown]

Once you don't have intolerance to noise and your T can be masked by the sound of water running you may consider some masking device.

 

[kevin b]

David,
I have pretty close to what you have . it is a hard road and takes time. Try not to focus on it, i know how hard that is. Getting sleep is huge, i took klonopin after the first few months when i could not sleep. I can now sleep no problem. many people mask at night, just loud enough to barely hear your T. I believe it is also important to try and stay around some sound as much as you can, obiuosly not loud sound. I started getting better when I started to do the things I used to do- going to the gym, playing with my kids, focusing on work, going to church - I pray alot. All the advice I got here was to try to get back to normal and also try to get healthier and find things to do that you like. This site is amazing with the nicest, most supporting people that understand what you are going thru. The hardest part for me is acceptance, I still am working on that, but the people who deal the best say that is key. Dont give up, there seems to be help on the horizon with new medicines targeted to help us all. My other advice is to not get caught up in"instant cures" as of now there are none so don't waste your money. Hang tough my man and reach out anytime you need to.
God Bless,
Kevin

 

[Jelena]

Hi David,

My tinnitus started the same way, I just woke up one morning and it was there. It was and still is a tough thing to accept and I've been having the same thoughts : why me/it's not fair. But I guess everyone is dealing with something in their lives and this is something we have to deal with. My tinnitus also sounds exactly like you described it: high pitched-crickets-singing sound and I can hear pulsation also. It is hard to be robbed of silence and see other people who don't have it go on with their lives, not understanding how amazing it is that they get to experience silence. But hang on there! This forum is a great place with so many nice people who were able to make me feel a bit better. It is much easier to deal with this knowing that you are not alone. I hope your T goes away quickly and that you find your peace!

Cheers!

 

[David Ho]

Tks all for the support messages.
I'm really glad I found this forum. Reading through it is better than anti-depressants!

I really wanted to get rid of the benzos for sleeping for a start. Because I exercise every day I'm so knackered that I think I could drift away without them. The problem is when I wake up in the the middle of the night or early hours of the morning. Then it's game over. I just can't get back to sleep.
I guess everyone is different and needs to find the combination of things that help.
I got a sleeping pillow (basically a pillow with speakers) to get some water sounds. I'm also cutting down on liquids after 6pm to reduce visits to the loo. I've also heard/read about melatonin so might give that a try.

I also developed hyperacusis so going to a pub or to the gym is excruciating. I wonder if that will improve because right now it kills so many things I want to do.

 

[undecided]

@David Ho you're saying that you have a strong pulsatile component in your tinnitus.
You should try to get a brain MRA and an ultrasound of your neck , see if there's any issue with arteries going haywire. Maybe there's something fixable about your T.

 

[David Ho]

@undecided tks. I've been reading about pulsatile T as well and plan to do that. I have a tendency for varicose veins (family genetics) so it would be important to rule that out. Apparently there's a whole host of exams you can do. The problem is finding an ENT that really understands the issue. These days it seems most people get better by finding some article/story that is similar to theirs on the Internet and tracking down specific doctors.

 

[undecided]

I'd preferably try to find a good neurologist or neurotologist, ENTs are pretty useless when it comes to the inner ear - that is unless you find an informed and caring ENT.

 

[billie48]

Sorry about your suffering David. I have ultra high pitch dog whistle T and H. H will likely fade in a few months. So don't worry about it much. You may want to wear ear plugs to protect from loud noises, but don't over-protect if normal sounds don't hurt so bad. You are the best judge of what level of sound exposure you can take. I used to have problem with TV, driving, dishes, restaurants, parties etc. Even the soft voice of my wife spoken too close hurt. But like many others who develop the type of H after T, it just fade slowly over a few months. So while it is limiting you and affecting your life, H is often the first one to fade. Don't worry about it much. As for the PT, you probably should post your condition in the PT support forum. @Karen is a notable member here who has PT too and she can help answer some of the questions about PT. Reading success stories will help you to calm down, and with T there less stress we have, the easier for it to calm down too. Take care & God bless.

 

[David Ho]

Tks @billie48 right now it's exactly as you describe: Ears of glass. One one hand I think it's fear of damaging the ears more. But the fact is that if I go to a pub or somewhere mildy loud, when I come out my T is much worse. Then it slowly calms down to the baseline (which is pretty horrid anyway).
It seems most people feel their T in their ears but for me it's more in the head, or back of the skull. It does have a slight tendency to the left side (which has 30-35 dB hearing loss on 6K-8K) but apart from that it's the whole head. It's not like those short T moments that everyone experiences that you can clearly feel in the ears.