10 Weeks and I Have to Move On!

[Marie79]

so many of you have been so amazing. I realize for my well being I HAVE to distance myself. I want my old life back and if that is with some ringing sometimes well I'm going to have to do it. It won't be easy but I can't continue to be looking on here for a while.

I spoke to my uncle today who is the loveliest happiest person and he told me he has T so loud he hears it loud all the time and he said it NEVER has gotten him to the point of a panic attack. I realize everyone has different mindsets but for other reasons other than T I have to try to be a little more like that.

If you are new just take my word. I've been to so many amazing doctors that also some suffer (well I should say they have T) from T. Anxiety DOES make it louder. My husband has it and he doesn't suffer. I have to for my own sanity somehow get to that point.

I realize acceptance is HUGE. When I thought it was gone or almost gone I went through major mental breakdowns when I heard it again. I can't keep thinking it will get better. I have to accept this as part of me.

Hopefully, even with my background in anxiety and panic I will become that way. That I only hear it when I listen for it. I have had 4 doctors say they live with it that way and 3 family members.

 

[glynis]

We are always here for you when need support. Good luck...lots of love glynis

 

[Ed209]

@Marie79

Loads of people I know also have tinnitus and are not bothered by it. I have posted this before on here, but I'll say it again and add the others I have found to have tinnitus in the last few weeks.

My dad has it pretty severe; a few of my cousins have it including an 8 year old; my army friend has it from explosions and gunfire; my close friend and former vocalist has it; and when openly talking with others, I often find at least someone will have it when in a larger group.

A couple of weeks ago my cousin asked how my ears were. I said pretty much the same, and it was at this point that my 8 year old second cousin asked what was wrong. I explained to her that I hear hissing sounds and a high pitched noise ringing in my head. It was at this point that she shocked me with her reply, which was 'don't we all hear that then?'.

I asked her if she can hear a ringing noise, and she said 'yes, I thought it was normal'. It turns out she constantly uses headphones to which I have given her an explicit warning as it's obviously already done some damage. She was not bothered at all though. The story is the same for my dad who couldn't care less about it. I only recently spoke to my army friend about it as I haven't seen him in a while, and he asked how I was. I told him I had problems with tinnitus to which he immediately told me that he has it as well. They get an ear test every year in the army and he knew all about it. He again said he just stopped looking it up online and IGNORED it. Now he doesn't hear it; he only hears it when he listens for it. He said he's basically blocked it out. He also said it flares up from time to time but it just has no affect on his mood at all.

For me the revelations have been eye opening. A good chunk of my friends and family have it to varying degrees, but one big difference is they haven't spent time reading about it and stressing over it. My nature is more on the OCD side so I have a harder time ignoring things, although I believe I've been doing extremely well under the circumstances.

Anxiety and stress are a huge problem no doubt about it. Their effects can be silent because we become immune to the feelings that high cortisol levels bring about. Anything that brings about enjoyment and/or relaxation is highly recommend to de-stress.

I'm going to enter a new phase whereby I plan - within the next few days - to stop forum use altogether. This includes ANYTHING related to tinnitus at all. I'm going to start a clean slate and try and get my head straight. I can't see how talking about tinnitus everyday helps my cause, other than to keep it the focus of my attention. If all goes to plan I'll come back and say how I'm getting on at a future date. Although, I may post on the odd occasion if I feel there's an important issue that the forum could help me with.

 

[Path Maker]

Best wishes to both of you!

 

[Mand b]

It does work like that I had pretty bad tinnitus back in 2011/2012 for 18 months and I was obessesed crying and researching it all the time and forums which helped in that moment but my partner and things online would say about searching the net probably never allows you to ever forget it or try to and both was right. One day I do not know why but I felt positive and happy and I said to myself I have to let this go now and live normally and so i stopped forum use and internet searches and it could just be a coincidence but tinnitus faded into the background I started focusing on things around me....life...and I did not hear tinnitus I could sleep in silence if I wanted or be in quiet rooms and it stayed that way for 2 years. Its recently flared after a pregnancy/miscarriage (same pattern as the first time it occurred) and been on and off since then but I am trying to remain hopeful that it will fade into the background again. I have came back to the forums but I am so much better at not relying on them now I don't come on here daily and I do not search about tinnitus online. If you would of seen me a few years ago it was like my day job lol I non stop thought, searched and lived tinnitus. Its positive to know a lot of people around us can have this and not be fazed by it or not even realise they have it like the 8 year old relative you mentioned. I hope you both get to that place and even if tinnitus does flare up in the future like mine did hopefully we can all get back to normal living x

 

[billie48]

so many of you have been so amazing. I realize for my well being I HAVE to distance myself. I want my old life back and if that is with some ringing sometimes well I'm going to have to do it. It won't be easy but I can't continue to be looking on here for a while.

I spoke to my uncle today who is the loveliest happiest person and he told me he has T so loud he hears it loud all the time and he said it NEVER has gotten him to the point of a panic attack. I realize everyone has different mindsets but for other reasons other than T I have to try to be a little more like that.

If you are new just take my word. I've been to so many amazing doctors that also some suffer (well I should say they have T) from T. Anxiety DOES make it louder. My husband has it and he doesn't suffer. I have to for my own sanity somehow get to that point.

I realize acceptance is HUGE. When I thought it was gone or almost gone I went through major mental breakdowns when I heard it again. I can't keep thinking it will get better. I have to accept this as part of me.

Hopefully, even with my background in anxiety and panic I will become that way. That I only hear it when I listen for it. I have had 4 doctors say they live with it that way and 3 family members.

I wish you well Marie. Your story about your family and friends as well as Ed's confirm the fact that our reaction determine the intrusiveness of T. Of course the louder T gets (if there is painful H too), the harder to react calmly. But it still goes back to our reaction which will decide if the brain will treat T as a threat or not. I know of a lady friend whose T is so loud that she sometimes can't hear what people were saying to her. She even jokes that once she couldn't hear the fire siren of the fire truck coming to her apartment due to a false alarm. LOL. Yet she never displays the kind of trauma, fear, anxiety and panic I went through. Different DNA? Toughness? Not sure. But here is the success story of Jade, who had suffered much with her loud T which she can hear above the noise of the 800-tonne mining truck she drives, until she realizes that 70% of her colleagues also have T and yet don't suffer like her. With that realization, she decides to change her approach and her reaction to T, and she got better and wrote her success story. Amazing story:

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/6-months-tinnitus-still-going-strong-but-so-am-i.3226/

 

[Ed209]

I wish you well Marie. Your story about your family and friends as well as Ed's confirm the fact that our reaction determine the intrusiveness of T. Of course the louder T gets (if there is painful H too), the harder to react calmly. But it still goes back to our reaction which will decide if the brain will treat T as a threat or not. I know of a lady friend whose T is so loud that she sometimes can't hear what people were saying to her. She even jokes that once she couldn't hear the fire siren of the fire truck coming to her apartment due to a false alarm. LOL. Yet she never displays the kind of trauma, fear, anxiety and panic I went through. Different DNA? Toughness? Not sure. But here is the success story of Jade, who had suffered much with her loud T which she can hear above the noise of the 800-tonne mining truck she drives, until she realizes that 70% of her colleagues also have T and yet don't suffer like her. With that realization, she decides to change her approach and her reaction to T, and she got better and wrote her success story. Amazing story:

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/6-months-tinnitus-still-going-strong-but-so-am-i.3226/

This is spot on @billie48. I went through a phase of habituation where I really did stop reacting to my tinnitus and it's hold on me literally disappeared. I found it became troublesome when I started reading and posting online about it again. The reason why I felt compelled to do this when I was feeling better is beyond me, but it's like it reignited a fuse in my head. I've found that each time I talk with a friend who has it, and see their genuine reaction, it has instantly calmed me in a way that I cannot describe. It's like a weight gets lifted off my shoulders and I actually feel myself relax.

Talking openly about your feelings is an excellent way of relieving stress, and is very underrated as a way of taking the weight of the world off your shoulders. Unfortunately, I think men are far more likely to bottle things up and not let anyone in. If you talk to others you'll find a lot of people around you will have tinnitus. Even the receptionist for the audiologist I used had it!

This forum has been brilliant, but I think it's now beginning to hold me back somewhat. I feel like I'm taking a step backwards rather than forwards and on with my life.