2-3 Week Tinnitus Spike, Feeling Hopeless

[Sleep]

Hi all,

I haven't been around since my Meniere's Disease diagnosis in early 2014...seems like yesterday, or an eternity. The only consistent takeaway from my initial attack was persistent tinnitus which took me 6-8 months to habituate to. I did use a bevy of psych meds, practiced mindfulness, took a lower stress job, etc. Over the past 2+ years I've been at peace with my tinnitus for the most part, the occasional pair of days where it's intrusive, distracting. Without going into all the details the last year has been unbelievably stressful - including a move across the country and 6 months unemployment. I picked up smoking for the first time in 12 years and went back on a medication I was excited to come off of in 2014. Depression and anxiety have been with me my whole life - well before Meniere's and tinnitus.

In mid-September I woke up with a volume increase. I have been tapering off benzos since early in the year and stopped smoking days before so I can see where my anxiety may be playing into "the cycle". We're now two weeks in and I've just bottomed out. "This is the new normal", "This will just keep getting worse", "I don't have the strength to pull me out of this again", and (ugh) "I wish I were dead". Suicide has been a big part of my thinking the last two weeks and while I have to much fear that tinnitus will carry over into the afterlife (ha!) and concern for my family, it doesn't change the fact that tinnitus has me in its grips again and that crosses my mind.

I can't concentrate at work, I have very little social engagement since my move, the same resources that were there for me in 2014 are no longer present. I went to a new doctor who just told me to see a shrink (which I'm doing next week) and had very little comfort, or words. I asked about the benzos, the smoking, the anxiety and she didn't have anything to offer - deep down I knew she wouldn't.

I'm thinking of taking a short-term leave of absence on disability to get myself near family back east, but I know my new employer will be disappointed.

I guess I'm asking for other's experiences with spikes and how they got through extended ones. My fight-or-flight senses have me feeling out of my body. There's many reasons why this could be happening right now, but I'd rather concentrate on solutions then causes.

Thanks for listening and I appreciate your words.
S

 

[Sleep]

Hi all - still looking for some support from the board.

 

[Scared111]

is the tinnitus worse because of mieneres disease? are you taking meds for the mieneres? maybe if the mieneres gets better, your tinnitus will too? I hope so...

 

[Sleep]

My Meniere's Disease has been mostly under control since late 2014. I take meds with the occasional flare-up, but those flare-ups have never been based on tinnitus symptoms (usually fullness in the ears). I'm feeling really guilty about the cigarettes having had a handle on them for so many years.

 

[billie48]

I guess I'm asking for other's experiences with spikes and how they got through extended ones. My fight-or-flight senses have me feeling out of my body. There's many reasons why this could be happening right now, but I'd rather concentrate on solutions then causes.

Welcome to the forum. Spikes are known to occur often on the road to final recovery. When T is new or when it is at a new level, any spike will trigger some negative emotional response which can then create more stress and anxiety, and which then can aggravate T. That is a viscous cycle. Don't panic nor despair. At some point in our journey, the brain learn by repetition that T may be annoying but not a mortal threat. The more we understand T, the less we will get too worried by it. There are web sites such as TT, ATA, BTA etc. which will educate us. But we can also learn a lot how to cope with T by the success stories. I was in a mess initially with ultra high pitch T and then severe hyperacusis. I often thought I could never recover. But never say never. Today I live a normal, happy and absolutely enjoyable life. I wrote my success story and shared many strategies, some learned from members and some of my own. Check it out if you have time. Take good care. God bless.

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/thread...w-i-recovered-from-tinnitus-hyperacusis.3148/

 

[Sleep]

@billie48 - thanks so much for your encouragement. I guess with my pre-existing depression/anxiety issues the whole situation is exacerbated and it's easy to lose control. I truly appreciate reading your story...I would say my T volume is somewhere in the middle. Before this spike it was quite manageable and I though I was over the hump. But life is strange and T is stranger. Acceptance is the first step, instilling hope is the second I believe, mindful practice of coping skills is the third - but for me medication may be the short course step somewhere in there.

I may take some time off work (2-3 weeks) to get myself together. I think it's important to take a step back from the routine.

Thanks again - I hope to give back to the community with a story such as yours in a few (shortest possible) years.

Gregory

 

[Sleep]

I'm losing my mind. After reading another thread about SSRIs and someone else's experience with Lexapro (which after 5 days is how I developed REALLY BAD T), this fucking suicide thread that won't disappear, and this spike that won't subside I don't know how long much longer I can manage.

My partner went through this 3 years ago when I first developed bad T (after said Lexapro because of my depression/anxiety around Meniere's Disease) and I don't feel that I can go to him longer. It was a mad house back then.

I had habituated to my T levels over the past few years, but I can't handle the increase.

A) I rehash taking the Lexapro 3 years on and hate myself for it.
B) I moved this year and have no face-to-face support system (other then my partner)
C) I have had clinical depression and generalized anxiety for many years before my T and they are in full force.
D) I went to a new ENT (because of the move) who just told me to see a psychiatrist

I know enough about T to realize that no one's experience is the same, but have other's experienced this long of a spike? Is this the new volume I have to adjust to? I don't think I can.

S

 

[glynis]

@Sleep,
I understand the unwanted emotions and depression with tinnitus and needing support and also how Menieres causes extra problems as its a progressive disease .
The first phase is the active phase then on to the second stage and third stage.
I have had Menieres 13-14 years and progressed through the stages .
I totally understand what you are going through right now.

Love glynis

 

[Sleep]

thanks @glynis I've been pretty lucky with my other symptoms of Meniere's. I only had one vertigo attack (knock on wood) 6 months before my diagnosis and my hearing is good again. But this T is just too much and I don't know what to do with myself.

 

[glynis]

There is a medication called
Cinnarazine 15mg tablet .
It is used for Menieres for vertigo and STATES reducing tinnitus .
Cinnarizine tablets belong to a group of
drugs known as antihistamines.
• Cinnarizine is used to:
• control travel sickness
• treat symptoms seen in Ménière's
disease which include vertigo (a spinning
feeling), tinnitus (a ringing in your ears) The tablets should be swallowed preferably
with a drink of water.

 

[MBH]

It's all anxiety my T circles all around from Same sound to hiss to all over head I've only had T for three months and it rock my world. Even though T is different for everyone some traits are the same like the craziness it causes. And that T has mind of its own, from the beginning I didn't pay attention to it but paid attention that it changes and it didnot stay the same like other people's. I knew I had to work on anxiety first tried two didn't work, I'm on the third set. I think to find the right therptist and group is key and finding the new you.