Hi all,
I've made many posts here but never an introductory post, and I'm feeling pretty down today, so figured it might be a good time.
I've had tinnitus twice in my life, once from 2016-2019'ish, and again since July 25th 2020.
The first time my tinnitus was mild and in my right ear only. It quickly faded from my daily attention, being masked by most noise, and over time it eventually went away. One day I stopped using the fan I had been accustomed to use for masking in my bedroom, and I heard silence. It wasn't really an event, it just sort of happened and I thought nothing of it. The tinnitus wasn't a big deal to me and I had almost grown fond of it - it sounded like distant crickets and lulled me to sleep.
Fast forward to earlier this year, I had microsuction, and a very loud noise went off near me a few weeks after. It took a couple of days to crop up, but I've been in real torment since then.
My tinnitus at first was an almighty EEEEEEEE in both ears, which changed after about 2.5 months to several different noises in each ear. On any given day I can have a rhythmic tch tch tch in either ear, a lower toned doooooooooo, another lower tone that sounds like wawawawawawa, or a number of other sounds from a grab bag, either tonal or atonal that are very intrusive. I've also had a couple of secondary "traumas", like being exposed to a fire alarm, which seem to elevate me back to existential threat status. I take precautions against this but it's hard when the threshold for re-injury appears to be so low.
I've had a few times where the tinnitus seemed to be getting quieter, either due to medication, or I had hoped natural healing, but it never stayed quieter, and today although it is not as loud as it's ever been, it is quite loud and intrusive. Innocuous noise will often spike me, and I haven't reached a point yet where simple, everyday things like a shower don't pose a risk.
I haven't worked since this all began, as I've been trying to just keep myself from losing it, and the tinnitus is an absolute torment and impediment. I would really like to go back to work, but this would involve speaking on the phone for long hours, and more importantly, would demand a level of focus and attention I am able to achieve maybe once a week or less. I had a dream job offer paying me roughly twice what I make now, but that will expire in February - I can't imagine taking a job where I have to travel cross country now, flying twice a week, when my ears are spiked just staying in my own home.
At this point I am truly scared - I want to be able to enjoy time with my family again and do simple things without constantly fighting a mental battle.
I've tried different antidepressants, other neurological medications, literally over 25 supplements, a Konftec laser, peptide injections, and a number of other things, but to no avail. I keep a spreadsheet of everything I've ever seen mentioned as helping, and am working my way through it to try everything.
Every day I tell myself I need to keep hanging on, and that it will get better over time, or that eventually a treatment e.g. neuromodulation, FX-322 etc... will help me get things to a manageable level. I would take habituation, although even at almost 4 months that seems impossible, as my sounds change every day.
Still on my list to try is extended wet fasting, a number of other medications and drugs, a gentler LED red/infrared light that some have had success with, and hopefully some of the pipeline solutions we often discuss, but I still fear I'll be this way forever, and remain a shell of my former self. I've noticed that most people who do improve seem to have signs by 3-4 months that things are getting better, but I've hardly moved in terms of volume.
Anyway, I suppose that's it for now - this was cathartic for me to write, so I appreciate the opportunity to do so - this site has been a wonderful community and is one of the only reasons I'm able to keep going.
I've made many posts here but never an introductory post, and I'm feeling pretty down today, so figured it might be a good time.
I've had tinnitus twice in my life, once from 2016-2019'ish, and again since July 25th 2020.
The first time my tinnitus was mild and in my right ear only. It quickly faded from my daily attention, being masked by most noise, and over time it eventually went away. One day I stopped using the fan I had been accustomed to use for masking in my bedroom, and I heard silence. It wasn't really an event, it just sort of happened and I thought nothing of it. The tinnitus wasn't a big deal to me and I had almost grown fond of it - it sounded like distant crickets and lulled me to sleep.
Fast forward to earlier this year, I had microsuction, and a very loud noise went off near me a few weeks after. It took a couple of days to crop up, but I've been in real torment since then.
My tinnitus at first was an almighty EEEEEEEE in both ears, which changed after about 2.5 months to several different noises in each ear. On any given day I can have a rhythmic tch tch tch in either ear, a lower toned doooooooooo, another lower tone that sounds like wawawawawawa, or a number of other sounds from a grab bag, either tonal or atonal that are very intrusive. I've also had a couple of secondary "traumas", like being exposed to a fire alarm, which seem to elevate me back to existential threat status. I take precautions against this but it's hard when the threshold for re-injury appears to be so low.
I've had a few times where the tinnitus seemed to be getting quieter, either due to medication, or I had hoped natural healing, but it never stayed quieter, and today although it is not as loud as it's ever been, it is quite loud and intrusive. Innocuous noise will often spike me, and I haven't reached a point yet where simple, everyday things like a shower don't pose a risk.
I haven't worked since this all began, as I've been trying to just keep myself from losing it, and the tinnitus is an absolute torment and impediment. I would really like to go back to work, but this would involve speaking on the phone for long hours, and more importantly, would demand a level of focus and attention I am able to achieve maybe once a week or less. I had a dream job offer paying me roughly twice what I make now, but that will expire in February - I can't imagine taking a job where I have to travel cross country now, flying twice a week, when my ears are spiked just staying in my own home.
At this point I am truly scared - I want to be able to enjoy time with my family again and do simple things without constantly fighting a mental battle.
I've tried different antidepressants, other neurological medications, literally over 25 supplements, a Konftec laser, peptide injections, and a number of other things, but to no avail. I keep a spreadsheet of everything I've ever seen mentioned as helping, and am working my way through it to try everything.
Every day I tell myself I need to keep hanging on, and that it will get better over time, or that eventually a treatment e.g. neuromodulation, FX-322 etc... will help me get things to a manageable level. I would take habituation, although even at almost 4 months that seems impossible, as my sounds change every day.
Still on my list to try is extended wet fasting, a number of other medications and drugs, a gentler LED red/infrared light that some have had success with, and hopefully some of the pipeline solutions we often discuss, but I still fear I'll be this way forever, and remain a shell of my former self. I've noticed that most people who do improve seem to have signs by 3-4 months that things are getting better, but I've hardly moved in terms of volume.
Anyway, I suppose that's it for now - this was cathartic for me to write, so I appreciate the opportunity to do so - this site has been a wonderful community and is one of the only reasons I'm able to keep going.