3 Months In — Tinnitus from Stress or Noise Exposure (Motorbike Ride)?

[musicblue]

Hi all,

I developed my tinnitus in early June this ear and it began as a mild single ring, in the left ear one morning when I work for work on the Monday. Up until this point I had been experiencing some stress with work but nothing I felt I couldn't handle. However, the week before this ring emerged, I did a motorbike ride for a good 3 hours at around 60mph and found when I came back from that I had ringing in both ears a bit like a club experience. This soon went away the next day, but over the course of that week up until Wednesday I had what I can only describe as a stabby pain in the left ear on and off - no fullness or anything - almost as if the cold wind had made it sore type pain. On the Thursday/Friday I found my ears to be fine and listened to some music with headphones (cup ones) not too loud and didn't have any ringing after that experience either. However as mentioned at the start, on the Monday morning for work, I remember waking up and hearing a single ring in my left ear and that is where my world has been turned upside down.

Over the course of the next 3 weeks, I was told it was earwax and was told to put olive oil in to get this out and so followed this route extensively. However as the oil was going in, the ringing was still there and the ears were getting more and more clogged, and so I was further prescribed antibiotics and Otomize as the GP thought the eardrum looked a tad red so the thought to hit it hard in case it was an infected.

Fast forward to the end of this antibiotic course it was getting worse. By late June, the low single ring had now formed into a louder ring which was spiking in the evenings for like 4 hours. It became like a singular fire alarm in my left ear which I could do little to bring down except wait it out and try to massage the ear. This was now happening for various evenings in a row.

As a result I went to have them looked at by various GP's who all said they could no longer see my eardrum in both ears due to all the oild, and so getting them cleaned out seemed the best course of advised action. As a result i went to have them microsuctioned (to avoid syringing) and I also had many people tell me they had microsuction done with no problems.I also felt with them being oiled up for a good 3 weeks the wax in there would have been softened up enough too.

I found the procedure loud and discomforting but once it was over, both ears felt unclogged which was great, but that ring in the left ear was still there and as a result my heart sank. I really thought this would be over at this point. Over the course of the next 10 days or so, I found things slightly bearable again, despite the ring still there,with the only main problem some on and off earache and that the left ear seemed to be super reactive to touch and sound after the procedure (like a sparkle sound when the earlobe or side of the face was touched) but I figured it would go in a few days as they had gone from full of wax to no wax...

Fast forward to early July, this is when I remember things changing again. I went for a nap between 9pm to 11pm and found when I work I had the worse spike in my life. It was like a electric thunderstorm and star wars going through my entire head for an hour. I was completely out of it and had no idea what was going on and just laid on my couch for that entire night trying to calm down. However even the TV was unbearable to watch as it just reacted with the tinnitus in a 'ping' 'ping' each time sound came into the ear. Since then any form of naps now involve a spike in my tinnitus when I wake, like a tea kettle sound for around around an hour.

From that moment I now believe I have hyperacusis. Sounds were organically very tinny in sounding - objects like cups and plates were hurting my ears and my left ear was popping every time I spoke.
Since then, all these symptoms have remained, with the only exception that sounds now feel richer in quality again, however it is still hard to hear with clarity as I now have the following tinnitus rings which the sound has to filter through:

I now have 3 types of tinnitus rings all in the left ear: 1- the original ring that I had in June. 2 - A morse code type sound that comes on when tired or in a quiet room. 3 - this hiss/static/wine glass circular motion type sound that is the hardest to block out in a quiet room. The 3rd tinnitus is like a sensation that cover the entire head.

I have also had this dull left ear for most days, sensitivity to any high frequency sounds or anything too loud.

I also have this popping sound when I talk as if it is an amplified sound of my eustachian tubes opening and closing up each time I blow ear/talk. It doesn't do it when i move my jaw.

As a result of all this abuse, over the course of the last 3 month I have become an emotional wreck. I have seen 3 ENT's (one whom said it was fluid pressure buildup and so I am coming to the end of a course of Betahistamine as a result). The other 2 didn't really have answers however one said that these symptoms after microsuction are common and usually subside in months.

I am musician at heart and listening to music has always been my purest form of joy. I now feel like without properly functioning ears my life has been severed off. I have been off work now for 6 weeks as my concentration has just gone. I would normally look after a team and talk to hundreds of clients. As my ears ring continually and my ear aches and pops when talking, I am finding this whole thing deeply distressing. My sleep has been disturbed and I now wake up with a nauseous feeling in my stomach followed by several anxiety attacks. I would normally be in work at 9am with a load of work colleagues and now am in a flat alone, dealing with these horrible sounds in my head.

I feel like the microsuction has really caused the hyperacusis and from reading many peoples accounts on here it seems i am not alone.

Many people are saying you need to keep seeing people but I am finding it very hard to find the motivation to do this as I am just in such a bad head space. I have been seeing my parents each evening for weeks now but even that is getting repetitive as there is only so much they can do. Its like I want it to get better - then I will see friends. Besides, when your ears pop and you have earache, I don't want to have to feel this when I am out and about with mates. I tried it once with friends and I had to leave due to earache. However, after 3 months of this I am really struggling to accept this reality and that is happening to me. I feel like I am in an alternative universe and this is all a nightmare - I have always feared getting tinnitus and protected my ears when out in bars/clubs. I was the most active, sociable person and I now feel I am a shell of my former self, being slowly crippled with anxiety attacks and constant feelings of nausea. I don't know about others here, but when I wake up on the morning, these used to be the most beautiful times for me - the sound of silence and the idea of the day ahead, i would see joy in almost everything, even just a quiet breakfast with coffee - now I feel a wave of anxiety come over me and feel I just have to get out of my flat and walk the park otherwise I will go stir crazy. The sounds in my head are just so unwelcome and I can't do anything about it. As this is all so recent for me I also can't help feeling regret and lamenting the life I had before this which was always full of joy and happiness - and seeing friends carry on like I would be doing just makes my heart sink and think the worse possible thoughts... I have had the S word come through my mind on various occasions as it feels like at least it is a choice I can make. I always felt I had a way to resolve things. But with this monster in my head which is not going away and has starved me of pure sounds and silence I am finding it very, very difficult.

Thanks for reading all of this everyone and I will say this site has helped me tremendously in the last few months as it seems the people on here are really the only people who 'get it'.

 

[Bill Arsenault]

You need to try realize that you are going to be OK-
and your tinnitus still might not be permanent.

I realize at this point you cannot comprehend how you are going to deal with this-
But over time it is extremely rare for this to become something that you absolutely can not deal with whatsoever.

At first it often does seem to get worse with new tones and spikes- which can make you panic.

Getting through the first few months is a tough thing- but try to go easy on yourself.

You will realize later that everyone puts themselves through hell at first.

My tinnitus was made much, much worse by medications - and by the time I realized
that and was able to get off all the meds-
I could hear it clearly outdoors and while driving.

But I am back to playing electric guitar at safe volumes - and music is my best friend.

And of course- suicide certainly is not going to be necessary- I can promise you that.

Try to take it easy and relax-
your far from being alone with this.

Try to keep in mind that you are going to be fine and that you are just panicking a bit right now.

Best wishes for a full recovery or at least better days ahead.

 

[musicblue]

Thanks Bill.

Right now it is the anxiety attacks/downward thoughts that i find the most hardest. I don't particularly want to take pills/drugs but without an outlet to discuss it with parents or online, I am finding it so hard doing doing this on my own, living alone. I am 34 and this has come right at a time when I was on an upward trend in terms of self devlopment which has compounded my misery of thoughts. I need to get someone in my life (gf) who can ride this out with me but how on earth do i date with this playing havoc with me. Normally this area of my life would be not be an issue at all.

 

[Bill Arsenault]

Keep in mind that most of what you read here is from people who are still panicking.

Also many people had severe psychological issues before getting tinnitus and this just makes them feel completely hopeless-
But this is actually far from a hopeless situation.

Keep your head up and stay positive-
I promise things will eventually be fine brother.

You will be able to have normal relationships and a normal life.

Things are going to be kinda tough for a bit-
But you won't feel this way forever-
so don't think this is how your life is always going to be now.

It's not- you will slowly get back to normal and be happier and stronger than ever before.

 

[Bill Bauer]

Your hyperacusis will most likely be gone within a year after the onset.

Have you experienced any fading of your tinnitus?

 

[musicblue]

@Bill Bauer . I really hope so RE the hyperacusis as this is causing me alot of agrovation. Last month during the onset it was really extreme - touching my left ear was like touching a microphone turned up to max with a cloth over it - I could not even sleep on this ear for 4 weeks as the sound of the pillow would make so much reverberating noise. Everything hurt my ears and music/tv sounded like it was being played through a poundland speaker. Although these symtoms have subsided slightly - I am a musican so I can really tell the smallest of changes to sound - the biggest issue with it now is the constant earfullness/ache and popping sounds I get when talking and sensativty to high pitch sounds, as mobile speakers make my left ear feel uncomfortable. All of this just makes communicating no fun at all.

Re the tinnitus. I would have to say yes on this part - however the sounds seem to be changing.. Last month amonsgt the noises, I had this god awful hiss that was really loud at night. Now I still have the hiss sound (slightly less so) but evolved out of nowhere is this finger circled around a wine glass shimmer sound that encompases my entire head and is more of a sensation than sound, making it super hard to concentrate or focus in moments of quiet.

 

[Bill Bauer]

however the sounds seem to be changing..

That's an encouraging sign. The worst possible outcome is when it is relentlessly at the same level and pitch.

I had this god awful hiss

If it replaced a high-pitch tone, it's another good sign.

Last month during the onset it was really extreme - touching my left ear was like touching a microphone turned up to max with a cloth over it

I haven't read anyone describe their tinnitus being this extreme... Well, if it got better it ought to continue to get better. Ears take forever to heal...

All of this just makes communicating no fun at all.

Consider wearing 3M 1100 earplugs when you communicate.

You will want to make sure that you don't hurt your ears during this period of vulnerability as your body is healing. You will want to avoid taking ototoxic drugs, avoid microsuction or syringing (performed when you need to clean wax out of your ears; a manual tool should be used), and not let your dental hygienist use an ultrasonic scaling tool on you (a manual tool should be used). For more details, see

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/thread...eone-else-who-has-tinnitus.26850/#post-307822

 

[Tom 2020]

I strongly encourage you and others who feel despair -- as I did -- to be patient, and, if necessary, see a psychiatrist. I will tell my story to give you hope and, I think, helpful advise.

When I first stupidly hurt my ears on June 28, 2020, I was losing my mind with regret. Like an imbecile, I didn't put on my ear protection as I walked into a shooting range, and another guy shot off three rounds right next to me. I was completely devastated with feelings of stupidity, regret and desperation. I had ear ringing, sensitivity to noise, a feeling of clogging, and a strange feeling of a subtle needle and numbness in my ears. I was in utter disbelief that one mistake could destroy my life. However, people here and on another site encouraged me to be patient, as the healing process can take months. It was hard to believe them -- but as I explain below, they were right.

While it was great that people asked me to be patient, I needed more help. The one thing I did on my own was decide to see a psychiatrist. He prescribed me a small dosage of Lorazepan. Believe it or not, until I took that drug, I was insanely thinking about whether I could turn back time, to avoid the one moment when I hurt my ears. I am a very stable 52 year old, with a family, and yet I was in the shower day after day trying to turn back time, like a madman. Can you imagine this? I was up at night blaming myself and feeling truly desperate. However, the medication allowed me to calm down a few weeks. In the two months that have passed thus far, the clogged feeling is less, the ringing is a little bit less, and the strange numbness and needle feelings are almost gone.

I am hopeful for improvement, but there is something more important: if I had to live with how I feel now, I would feel lucky, and embrace life. I did not feel that way before I got on the medication, and was insanely thinking that I could not live my life. The medication allowed me to overcome my desperation and anxiety over this truly disturbing mistake I made hurting my ears.

In other words, it took two long months to make some progress here, and I think many here will agree that I still need to wait many more months. I am now at the point where I realize that my mistake is just another mistake along my road that I must accept, learn from, and move on. I can honestly tell you that the some dosage of Lorazepam was very instrumental in allowing me to regain my sanity, and to be patient.

One thing I would strongly suggest is to see a number of ear doctors before doing anything, including like pouring things in your ear. I do not think that most ear doctors recommend pouring anything into your ear. I have read a lot since my mistake, and I am pretty sure that pouring anything in one's ears goes against most of the science. Anything going into your ear must be done carefully by a doctor, and even then I would get 2 or 3 opinions from different ear doctors.

The people here on this site are wonderful human beings. Reading their words sometimes makes me cry with happiness as their sympathetic nature. There is not enough attention to ear problems in this country. One day, we should organize to have mandatory national education in grammar school. I cannot undo my mistake at the gun range, but every child should understand the seriousness of this, no less than the serious need to wear a seat belt. Our society is seriously missing the chance to save others from making the stupid mistake I made.

Please remember that your life is precious. Destiny has given you this one ride here. Every day is a gift. Think about the many war veterans who still embrace life even after losing limbs. Be strong.

Thank you to all of your for being great, supportive human beings. I will leave for now by strongly encouraging those in true despair (as I was) to please see a psychiatrist and consider getting a very low dose of anti-anxiety medication to help get you through the early months. Those early months are truly disturbing, and help is available. You have this site, and doctors, who know what they are doing. Of course, like any drug, you must be careful and watch out for side effects. But in my case, the Lorazepam allowed me to break away from a totally destructive, useless and insane fixation with trying to go back in time and avoiding the mistake I made.