3 Months In and I Am MUCH BETTER!

[Tibberz]

I just wanted to make this post to give hope to the new people joining the Forum.

To recap, I got my T from being stupid and shooting my gun a few times without hearing protection. My first few weeks were absolutely horrible, I contemplated suicide and I am quite surprised that I didn't, given I had a pistol, a very easy out at my disposal. It took me a strong will to get through that phase. It is definitely ok to cry and to punch your pillow repeatedly. Let your pillow be the victim of your negative emotions.

-3 Months-

TODAY I am very happy that I did not commit suicide. My T has definitely dropped in volume since onset and for the past few days It has reached a point that it is not noticeable unless I am in a quiet setting doing next to nothing. This drop in perception did not happen overnight, it has been a very slow (almost frustratingly slow) drop in perception. Im not sure if the volume is actually dropping anymore (its definitely not as loud as the first month, but it seems to be just as loud as a month ago when I plug my ears today) but my T is not as intrusive as it was in the beginning. I can now go most of the day completely oblivious to my T (cant hear it at all even though if I plug my ears it is most definitely there).

I find that I only notice it now when its either quiet or I begin thinking about it. My suicidal thoughts are now long gone and I am very hopeful by this progress that within the next few months that I will be going days at a time without noticing my T, and when I do notice it, my negative reaction is 98% gone.

Although it may never fully go away, things for sure can always get better. If it stays the way it is now where I become oblivious to it when im having fun or staying busy, then I can live with it for the forseeable future. I still hope every night that it will be gone completely one day, but im very happy with the progress ive made and I'm finally getting back to being myself and not someone freaking out about T 24/7.

-6 Month Update
Just wanted to post an update now that I've reached my 6 month anniversary. The T is still there, but I can argue that I am doing even better than I was at 3 months in. As each day goes by I notice the noise less and less. I dont really track the volume any more but its about the same, maybe a little less than it was 3 months ago. Still expecting to have this for life but life continues to improve. I can definitely live the remainder of my life with how its going now and not be suicidal. Holding out hope for AUT as I would love to hear silence again.

-8 month update
T is still there, panic attacks are long gone. Life is 95% back to normal. Pretty sure the last 5% will barely change if at all.

I can easily go most of the day oblivious to the T (I cant tell its there unless im in a quiet room or im actively looking for it, if that happens it gets noticeably loud). A noted improvement is in the past month I have had moments where its barely noticeable at all, even when looking for it. But those are short lived. I still have moments where it will just randomly decide to get louder as well (not sure if louder or if my brain just locked onto it more), but that usually dies down, at least fast enough to prevent any panic attacks.

-10 month update
The new year has come and gone and I rang in the new year (bad pun... Bad.) I still feel like I'm improving and noticing the t less often and I'm not as bothered. I'm slowly going back to how I was pre depression (caused by t onset) but that is going to take a while and some soul searching. T tore me apart and now I am putting myself back together (I have wildly different attitudes towards things like faith and daily activities if that makes sense). I feel like a different person almost but perhaps I needed that in some areas so I can improve myself.

I attribute my continued improvement to blocking as many negative emotions regarding the T as possible. I think this lets the brain disregard the noise as a threat and with time helps the brain filter the noise out of the conscious mind for good.

If anyone ever needs someone to talk to, I am here for ya, feel free to message me whenever.

Stay strong my friends, there is always hope.

 

[shantelle]

I cant wait to get to this point too..im so glad your doing well

 

[JR1986]

Glad to hear you're doing better, I am at 7 weeks now and still having a hard time. Did you have any loss of hearing or a muffled/fullness feeling as well? I have t but I'm having a hard time hearing certain sounds like birds, keys things to that extent. Mine was also from gun noise

 

[Tibberz]

I think I lost a little hearing. My ears definitely feel weird compared to what they used to. One pops more than the other.

 

[Richard zurowski]

Good for you. Never give up and you've proved that.

 

[BrStan@]

I just wanted to make this post to give hope to the new people joining the Forum.

To recap, I got my T from being stupid and shooting my gun a few times without hearing protection. My first few weeks were absolutely horrible, I contemplated suicide and I am quite surprised that I didn't, given I had a pistol, a very easy out at my disposal. It took me a strong will to get through that phase. It is definitely ok to cry and to punch your pillow repeatedly. Let your pillow be the victim of your negative emotions.

TODAY I am very happy that I did not commit suicide. My T has definitely dropped in volume since onset and for the past few days It has reached a point that it is not noticeable unless I am in a quiet setting doing next to nothing. This drop in perception did not happen overnight, it has been a very slow (almost frustratingly slow) drop in perception. Im not sure if the volume is actually dropping anymore (its definitely not as loud as the first month, but it seems to be just as loud as a month ago when I plug my ears today) but my T is not as intrusive as it was in the beginning. I can now go most of the day completely oblivious to my T (cant hear it at all even though if I plug my ears it is most definitely there).

I find that I only notice it now when its either quiet or I begin thinking about it. My suicidal thoughts are now long gone and I am very hopeful by this progress that within the next few months that I will be going days at a time without noticing my T, and when I do notice it, my negative reaction is 98% gone.

Although it may never fully go away, things for sure can always get better. If it stays the way it is now where I become oblivious to it when im having fun or staying busy, then I can live with it for the forseeable future. I still hope every night that it will be gone completely one day, but im very happy with the progress ive made and I'm finally getting back to being myself and not someone freaking out about T 24/7.

Now listen to me my boy take my words very seriously if you want to never come back with T which 100 times worse. Let me tell you about my self first. My T started back in 1999 when i was in the army lots of shooting with no protection. Had bad T but went away the same as yours now. 2001 i joined the police forces for 5 years lots of shooting no protection had some minor spikes after the shooting but they died down. Left the police in 2007. Worked as bouncer loud music all the time. On the top of that my life was lots of loud music mp3 players and loud stereo systems. Also video games with head set with volume very loud. 2013 march my T got very loud. Habituated fully within 2 month. And back to my loud life thinking its not going to get worse(how stupid i was). 2014 January had spike after 8 hours in the night club no ears plugs. Within 10 days the spike gone and i am back to my normal loud T which did not bother me. But this time i new that i have to be very careful around loud noises so i decided to give up loud music and clubbing. So no earphones, no loud music, no clubs. Most of the time i spend at home learning some Java programming in full silence. 2015 end of March police siren pass near me i did not cover my ears thinking i will be fine as i never have a spike from such exposure(again how wrong was I). Next day the noise in my head reached the level which i did not think exist it was catastrophic. It was something different by tone loudness it is hell. Now walking on the street is with earplugs and ear muffs and if i hear a siren is coming i am entering the first open door(shop or bank whatever it is nearby) regardless of the fact that i wear protection.
But i am already aware if my T reach that level it will not improve and it is a matter a time when it is going to get worse. No way i will get better only worse no one can tell me otherwise. But yes i have some "good" days(on my good days my existence is something very close to my previous level of T still loud but i can do some more thinks). In the end of my 4th months i had more good than bad days. What an animal I am how can one recover from such think? How can one rise from the death. I had my good days but i was not happy i new something will happen and i will get even worse. Do you know what is to cry from the noise in your head and at the same time you do appreciate it because you know that it is going to get worse and you have to be happy what you have now. And there you go my fear come true you can't escape from the noise not in London(police and ambulance sirens every 5 mins, noisy underground trains, buses even helicopters daily oh my god what kind of noisy place was i living in). So wearing earplugs all the time OK but the ears started aching. One day I took my daughter from school and i was only with my ear muffs not enough protection from the police sirens and new i will encounter them on my way to the school. I was thinking when i hear it is coming i will quickly remove the muffs and will cover my ears with my palms and will press with full power and i will be fine(my mistake again but i new i will do some as i am so new to this running from the noise think).
So when i remove my muffs the police car was about 15 or 20 meters away i was thinking was more and that the noise is not that loud as i could hear it with muffs not that loud, anyway it hit me for only 1 sec(i was very quick with covering my ears with palms and pressing with full power). I immediately freaked out knowing my good days have gone ,i panicked, i sweated my mouth got dry i said "this is my end i have Catastrophic T and was hit by noise again" . Went home took magnesium and antioxidants locked myself in the bedroom away form my daughter and i was crying feeling sorry for myself and talking to myself "if i was able to survive until now its not going to be the case anymore my life is over no one can help me, i am done". At the same time the T was screaming disabling.
And so one week after this incident i no longer have good days i fees sorry for myself and guilty.

If you have a T from noise it is only one way and that is worsening. You could do only one think and this is to slow the process down but not to stop it. I don't want to scare you my boy enjoy what you have but remember my story never forget it because if you do this could be your story. I didn't have anyone to give me advise that's i am here now.
REMEMBER:
1. Avoid loud noise always use earplugs if you can't avoid it.
2. Eat magnesium(lots of nuts) reach food and food reach on antioxidants vitamins A, C and E. Even better if you can take them as supplements from time to time(make a cycle). Of course talk to your doctor before you use any supplements.

 

[uae96]

Now listen to me my boy take my words very seriously if you want to never come back with T which 100 times worse. Let me tell you about my self first. My T started back in 1999 when i was in the army lots of shooting with no protection. Had bad T but went away the same as yours now. 2001 i joined the police forces for 5 years lots of shooting no protection had some minor spikes after the shooting but they died down. Left the police in 2007. Worked as bouncer loud music all the time. On the top of that my life was lots of loud music mp3 players and loud stereo systems. Also video games with head set with volume very loud. 2013 march my T got very loud. Habituated fully within 2 month. And back to my loud life thinking its not going to get worse(how stupid i was). 2014 January had spike after 8 hours in the night club no ears plugs. Within 10 days the spike gone and i am back to my normal loud T which did not bother me. But this time i new that i have to be very careful around loud noises so i decided to give up loud music and clubbing. So no earphones, no loud music, no clubs. Most of the time i spend at home learning some Java programming in full silence. 2015 end of March police siren pass near me i did not cover my ears thinking i will be fine as i never have a spike from such exposure(again how wrong was I). Next day the noise in my head reached the level which i did not think exist it was catastrophic. It was something different by tone loudness it is hell. Now walking on the street is with earplugs and ear muffs and if i hear a siren is coming i am entering the first open door(shop or bank whatever it is nearby) regardless of the fact that i wear protection.
But i am already aware if my T reach that level it will not improve and it is a matter a time when it is going to get worse. No way i will get better only worse no one can tell me otherwise. But yes i have some "good" days(on my good days my existence is something very close to my previous level of T still loud but i can do some more thinks). In the end of my 4th months i had more good than bad days. What an animal I am how can one recover from such think? How can one rise from the death. I had my good days but i was not happy i new something will happen and i will get even worse. Do you know what is to cry from the noise in your head and at the same time you do appreciate it because you know that it is going to get worse and you have to be happy what you have now. And there you go my fear come true you can't escape from the noise not in London(police and ambulance sirens every 5 mins, noisy underground trains, buses even helicopters daily oh my god what kind of noisy place was i living in). So wearing earplugs all the time OK but the ears started aching. One day I took my daughter from school and i was only with my ear muffs not enough protection from the police sirens and new i will encounter them on my way to the school. I was thinking when i hear it is coming i will quickly remove the muffs and will cover my ears with my palms and will press with full power and i will be fine(my mistake again but i new i will do some as i am so new to this running from the noise think).
So when i remove my muffs the police car was about 15 or 20 meters away i was thinking was more and that the noise is not that loud as i could hear it with muffs not that loud, anyway it hit me for only 1 sec(i was very quick with covering my ears with palms and pressing with full power). I immediately freaked out knowing my good days have gone ,i panicked, i sweated my mouth got dry i said "this is my end i have Catastrophic T and was hit by noise again" . Went home took magnesium and antioxidants locked myself in the bedroom away form my daughter and i was crying feeling sorry for myself and talking to myself "if i was able to survive until now its not going to be the case anymore my life is over no one can help me, i am done". At the same time the T was screaming disabling.
And so one week after this incident i no longer have good days i fees sorry for myself and guilty.

If you have a T from noise it is only one way and that is worsening. You could do only one think and this is to slow the process down but not to stop it. I don't want to scare you my boy enjoy what you have but remember my story never forget it because if you do this could be your story. I didn't have anyone to give me advise that's i am here now.
REMEMBER:
1. Avoid loud noise always use earplugs if you can't avoid it.
2. Eat magnesium(lots of nuts) reach food and food reach on antioxidants vitamins A, C and E. Even better if you can take them as supplements from time to time(make a cycle). Of course talk to your doctor before you use any supplements.

Good advice , thank you hope you can cope to the new worst sound

 

[Jbeans]

I developed tinnitus April 2015 so it's been roughly 3 months for me too.
I went through all of the same shock, depression and suicidal thought . Fast forward to today I'm doing much better .. The tinnitus isn't as loud or as annoying anymore. But it still makes it hard for me to concentrate at work.
The bottom line is there has been a huge improvement so I wanna offer hope that it does get better..
Don't give up.

 

[Tibberz]

-6 Month Update

Just wanted to post an update now that I've reached my 6 month anniversary. The T is still there, but I can argue that I am doing even better than I was at 3 months in. As each day goes by I notice the noise less and less. I dont really track the volume any more but its about the same, maybe a little less than it was 3 months ago. Still expecting to have this for life but life continues to improve. I can definitely live the remainder of my life with how its going now and not be suicidal. Holding out hope for AUT as I would love to hear silence again.

I attribute my continued improvement to blocking as many negative emotions regarding the T as possible. I think this lets the brain disregard the noise as a threat and with time helps the brain filter the noise out of the conscious mind for good.

Stay strong my friends, there is always hope.

 

[Mike TerMaaten]

Do you still have the popping sound in one ear ?
Does/did that one ear pop when a loud noise happens ?

 

[Tibberz]

My ears feel like they have stabalised when it comes to popping.most of the time they are popping like they have the rest of my life so its not as distracting. Every once in a while one will seem to pop louder than the other. Mine do not pop to noise unless it's something like a gunshot, which is what gave me Tinnitus. Currently only pops when I yawn a certain way or when I swallow.

 

[Tibberz]

2 months since last update.

T is still there, panic attacks are long gone. Life is 95% back to normal. Pretty sure the last 5% will barely change if at all.

I can easily go most of the day oblivious to the T (I cant tell its there unless im in a quiet room or im actively looking for it, if that happens it gets noticeably loud). A noted improvement is in the past month I have had moments where its barely noticeable at all, even when looking for it. But those are short lived. I still have moments where it will just randomly decide to get louder as well (not sure if louder or if my brain just locked onto it more), but that usually dies down, at least fast enough to prevent any panic attacks.

So essentially not much different to how it was, but the amount of time of it bothering me is significantly less than the last update. If I had to describe it, its still annoying, but my brains reaction to it is now to the point where I automatically get distracted and no more mourning as that does me no good.

Do I think it will go away? Well, 8 months later since onset, its not looking like it. I would definitely throw a party if it ever did just one day up and disappear for good though. But, until then, life marches on.

I will be spending less time here, mainly to keep my mind off of T, but I will stop in now and then. Also if anyone needs help or would like counseling from me, do not hesitate to message me, I will do everything I can to help

 

[bianca81]

Im reaching my 3 month mark and feel exactely how you felt at your 3 month mark! Its nice to know that it does get a bit better at 6 months ...im in a much better place i was 2 months ago (bad anxiety panic attacks insomnia etc) its still there but i dont give a damn about it anymore i live my normal life and go most of my days withough thinking about it and when i do i dont have those negative emotions anymore (i still use white noise to sleepat night though )..anyways good to hear your positive story and updates!

 

[John Meyers]

Im reaching my 3 month mark and feel exactely how you felt at your 3 month mark! Its nice to know that it does get a bit better at 6 months ...im in a much better place i was 2 months ago (bad anxiety panic attacks insomnia etc) its still there but i dont give a damn about it anymore i live my normal life and go most of my days withough thinking about it and when i do i dont have those negative emotions anymore (i still use white noise to sleepat night though )..anyways good to hear your positive story and updates!

-6 Month Update

Just wanted to post an update now that I've reached my 6 month anniversary. The T is still there, but I can argue that I am doing even better than I was at 3 months in. As each day goes by I notice the noise less and less. I dont really track the volume any more but its about the same, maybe a little less than it was 3 months ago. Still expecting to have this for life but life continues to improve. I can definitely live the remainder of my life with how its going now and not be suicidal. Holding out hope for AUT as I would love to hear silence again.

I attribute my continued improvement to blocking as many negative emotions regarding the T as possible. I think this lets the brain disregard the noise as a threat and with time helps the brain filter the noise out of the conscious mind for good.

Stay strong my friends, there is always hope.

Congrats!

I am approaching my 3 month mark. -- It is always pretty loud and when I let my guard down and eat sugary foods or too much salt, it really spikes. -- I will even settle for month 12 to be where you are right now.

I was doing so well in the first month but at 2 months I started getting depressed since it was still there and I was trying so many things to get rid of it.

Eating well, exercising, and staying busy is key. -- On a positive note, T is really helping me stay on the right track with being more healthy!

 

[Tibberz]

The new year has come and gone and I rang in the new year (bad pun... Bad.) I still feel like I'm improving and noticing the t less often and I'm not as bothered. I'm slowly going back to how I was pre depression (caused by t onset) but that is going to take a while and some soul searching. T tore me apart and now I am putting myself back together (I have wildly different attitudes towards things like faith and daily activities if that makes sense). I feel like a different person almost but perhaps I needed that in some areas so I can improve myself.

But all in all, even with T not changing much things continue to get better. Even with it there all the time it often feels like its not affecting me negatively like it used to.