3 Weeks In and Feeling Hopeless

[PrizeFighter23]

Hi all. I've been browsing this site for the last few weeks and figured I might as well join up.

I'm a 28/m, and I have a history of Generalized Anxiety Disorder & some Depression. For the last 6 years, I was completely GAD & Depression free. That all changed after a night out at a dance party.

It was a "classic emo/pop-punk dance party/sing-a-long". I was your classic angsty, emo kid in high school, so was my fiancée, so we were both really excited to go. That night I had an amazing time, and honestly the music didn't seem that loud. Neither my friends or my fiancée even had ringing in their ears afterwards at all, but I did. I didn't think much of it, because I've been to one or two concerts before and my ears rang the next day, but it went away. After a week though, it didn't let up, and I started getting nervous.

My right ear continued to ring and feel full. Things sound "tinny" in that ear, and it crackles when I swallow. I've been to a GP, an ENT, and a Audiologist (my hearing was apparently fine by the way, "best she's seen in years").

Today will be 3 weeks since it started, and my right ear continues to ring and sometimes switch to a hissing/ciacata sound. Something I find a little strange is that if I put my finger in my ear for a little while, it will die down significantly, but then come back slowly over the next few minutes.

As far as my emotional state, I'm an absolute mess. Panic attacks, crying fits, depersonalization, suicidal thoughts, insomnia, all of it. I saw my GP and got an increase in my SSNI because I've never been this depressed in my life. I feel so hopeless and dead inside.

I'm not really sure what I'm asking for, maybe some similar stories, reasons why putting my finger in my ear could be reducing the noise, any hope that it might go away. Anything would help.

Thank you for reading this far, and creating a community that I can come to for help.

 

[GregCA]

As far as my emotional state, I'm an absolute mess. Panic attacks, crying fits, depersonalization, suicidal thoughts, insomnia, all of it. I saw my GP and got an increase in my SSNI because I've never been this depressed in my life. I feel so hopeless and dead inside.

I'm not really sure what I'm asking for, maybe some similar stories, reasons why putting my finger in my ear could be reducing the noise, any hope that it might go away. Anything would help.

Well first, sorry you're part of the "club". It can be a very tough condition to handle indeed, and your first reactions are quite natural, irrespective of your past anxiety disorders.

I don't know why putting a finger in your ear helps reduce the noise, but I find that encouraging because it could mean the noise may fall under an "objective tinnitus" bucket vs "subjective tinnitus". In other words, maybe your eardrum is actually vibrating when you hear those noises, and putting a finger in your ear dampens the vibration to the point that you hear a reduced stimulus. That should be measurable objectively by an ENT - maybe that's a test you could ask to perform.

The other part is that it sounds like you are already taking some meds, and some meds can cause T (it's ironic that some meds prescribed to T sufferers are known to cause T, but that's another story). It may be useful to review your current med intake to see if there's anything that could be a suspect.

Finally, you still haven't exhausted the full blood/ct-scan/mri tests that could be useful to run, if just to rule out other possible conditions.

With a recent onset, your state of mind isn't off the charts. Hang in there, and try to debug it with your doctors. It's quite possible that it's going to go away on its own, but I wouldn't just do nothing in the hopes that it will happen.

 

[glynis]

Welcome to Tinnitus Talk @PrizeFighter23 .
Tinnitus can be real touch going and the unwanted emotions it can cause can be just as hard or harder.
I am glad you are on medication and hope you are getting talking therapy also to support you through your difficult time.
You will get through this and your depression will lift as the meds build up in your system.
Don't think your going mad as this happens to a lot of people but over time your emotional response to your sound will change as your brain filters the sound out and not see it as a threat.
Stay strong and positive you will feel better in yourself soon....lots of love glynis

 

[PrizeFighter23]

Thank you both for the welcome and responses.

GregCA, I've had a GP and ENT both look at it, and they didn't send me for any tests, or suggest that it's possible that it might be objective. Do you think I should go back and specifically ask for tests?

I guess my assumption is that it's noise induced because it was present right after that loud event, but maybe there's a small possibility that it was just a coincidence I guess. *shrug*

My fiancée told me that I should take some melatonin to help me sleep at night, and to get some B-12 vitamins. Apparently they both have been said to help with T. I'm not sure how much I believe that, given that I've researched about every possible treatment available (from AM-101, prednisone, etc.) But I guess it can't hurt.

 

[GregCA]

GregCA, I've had a GP and ENT both look at it, and they didn't send me for any tests, or suggest that it's possible that it might be objective. Do you think I should go back and specifically ask for tests?

I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you what I would do, and that is to ask for those tests, yes. Drive your medical treatment, don't wait for others (doctors?) to do it for you. Like we say in software development: you're the pig, and they're the chickens.

 

[Gailjones]

Don't overthink things at the moment or think that your tinnitus won't settle down as it will....it may take time and you might need to put a white noise generator on temporarily ...as this settles the mind...the acoustic shock to the ears takes time to readjust...but you hearing itself won't be damaged...if you do not have any hearing loss you will quickly adjust,,,,some people just have a predisposition to getting tinnitus and it shit I know but at least you can take steps in the future to ensure the safety of your hearing....but you need to sleep and reduce your anxiety by earthier medication and or exercise. ....I hope you feel better soon...it can just take time but don't give up.