Good morning
@carol kane ,
Hun I'm so sorry your having one of those mornings
I remember them all too well as it wasn't that long ago, like last night first night back (we do straights 5/5) and I put my earplugs in and my ears omg they were incredibly noisy! I do this little thing with myself when I hear my T louder then usual if clench my teeth together and if my T is noisier when I clench then I tell myself your ok, your just being more sensitive then usual however tonight I had crickets, pulsate T & weird shit I have never heard before it was all so high pitched and echoing what seemed like my skull I could have so easily lost my marbles, even when I clenched my teeth together it didn't trump what was already going on inside my head so I knew this was a whole new ball game. The thing is its so easy to panic & fret & fear the noise in our heads but.... (don't slap me when I say this) its just a noise..... its certainly punishing & tormenting on every level but our ears still work, our hearts are still beating, our bodies can still hug and kiss our children and we are only impaired if we let it disable us. I am no Marta by any means but I have lived with and through some pretty terrible things that no kid/ young teenager should ever have see or go through and unfortunately the bastard who dealt my cards has thrown me another curve ball like yourself.
You sound like a beautiful Mum, you had a great career now you have the BEST job in the world teaching, nurturing and loving your babies
. We can do this Carol, we simply have to, our kiddies winks don't need to see us in a panic or plugging our ears they need to feel loved and safe. If you ever need to talk I'm here I'm even happy to pm you my mobile number if you ever get into one of those states (like I have been and I'm sure I will again) where you need to talk to someone going through the same thing. I truly hope you have dried your eyes and had at least a few minutes where you forgot about your T and focused on something else, that's how it all starts, a minute at a time.
Talk soon xo