A Valid Reason Why Habituation Should Not Be Glorified

[Jazzer]

@fishbone says - "My point is to push people towards healing and living their lives."

If you look at my early posts you will tell straight away that I was desperately ill with loud constant Tinnitus......sick of the noise.....the worry.....life.

A couple of people on this site really helped me.
They told me that "theirs" was very loud also, maybe even worse than mine, and that over time, the impact would lessen, to the point where I would often be unaware of it.
I wanted to believe them.....but I didn't.

They were right.
I still have the same old....same old.....
but it bothers me much less.
I imagine it's gradual habituation.
There is honestly such a difference in how I feel.
You'll need to take my word for that.

For me, the trick is meditation with exposure.
I won't repeat it on here - @threefirefour - I am aware that my posts are sometimes viewed as lightweight and flaky....to the point of driving you nuts. I do understand that, by the way.

I'm probably one of the oldest on here, at 75, and a cure for me is obviously pretty unlikely.
I feel so sorry for young people with this wretched thing, that probably see it as a life wrecker.
I do hope a treatment, and a cure becomes a reality.

I would suggest, in the meantime, practicing some meditation. I honestly believe it promotes healing, and a more benign acceptance, which in turn, turns the noise intrusion down.

Now - I've been quite flaky enough - so I'll buzz off now. (....shouldn't have mentioned 'buzz...)

Take care folks
Dave x

 

[Jazzer]

 

[Jazzer]

I've always been intrigued with the Old American West, collecting artifacts, artwork and quality fiction.
One of my 'photoshop' mates did this of me - and as you know, there's more than a hint of truth....

 

[threefirefour]

@fishbone says - "My point is to push people towards healing and living their lives."

If you look at my early posts you will tell straight away that I was desperately ill with loud constant Tinnitus......sick of the noise.....the worry.....life.

A couple of people on this site really helped me.
They told me that "theirs" was very loud also, maybe even worse than mine, and that over time, the impact would lessen, to the point where I would often be unaware of it.
I wanted to believe them.....but I didn't.

They were right.
I still have the same old....same old.....
but it bothers me much less.
I imagine it's gradual habituation.
There is honestly such a difference in how I feel.
You'll need to take my word for that.

For me, the trick is meditation with exposure.
I won't repeat it on here - @threefirefour - I am aware that my posts are sometimes viewed as lightweight and flaky....to the point of driving you nuts. I do understand that, by the way.

I'm probably one of the oldest on here, at 75, and a cure for me is obviously pretty unlikely.
I feel so sorry for young people with this wretched thing, that probably see it as a life wrecker.
I do hope a treatment, and a cure becomes a reality.

I would suggest, in the meantime, practicing some meditation. I honestly believe it promotes healing, and a more benign acceptance, which in turn, turns the noise intrusion down.

Now - I've been quite flaky enough - so I'll buzz off now. (....shouldn't have mentioned 'buzz...)

Take care folks
Dave x

Idc

 

[Jazzer]

@threefirefour - I do care.......

 

[threefirefour]

@threefirefour - I do care.......

Shame I dont.

 

[Jazzer]

@threefirefour - you could always go and stroke a pussycat......

 

[Starthrower]

Now - I've been quite flaky enough

@Jazzer is never flaky!!!

I've always been intrigued with the Old American West, collecting artifacts, artwork and quality fiction.
One of my 'photoshop' mates did this of me - and as you know, there's more than a hint of truth....

Love that print. Is the face yours? I noticed the glasses....

@threefirefour why are you being a butthead today?

I think you might be confused with what I was saying, I just think its arrogant to think that tinnitus talk would be a negative place without people like you and the others you stated.

That is what bothers me also. No one else really expounds on negativity in threads. I think there are many who have great attitudes and advice.

 

[Jazzer]

@Starthrower - Haha.....the guy that did the photoshop bit used my upper face, but thought my lower jaw was too weak for a plains Indian.
Here's a recent pic.

* Our friend who says "Idc" is okay.
He is just being totally honest about how 'pissed off' he is with this wretched condition we all suffer with.
Have to say his total honesty shows integrity.

* I'll just add that I have to adopt an upbeat optimistic approach to this thing.
To be negative, and permenantly angry would make me go under. I have a lovely daughter (6 children in all) who is a junior school teacher, and has Tinnitus. I absolutely have to provide an example to her that there is a way forward.
I only ever offer a comment on T. Talk if I believe it just might help somebody.
Sometimes I seem to pee somebody off.
Never my intention.
Kindness is it's own reward.
Thank you for your support my friend.
Dave x

 

[threefirefour]

@Jazzer is never flaky!!!



Love that print. Is the face yours? I noticed the glasses....

@threefirefour why are you being a butthead today?



That is what bothers me also. No one else really expounds on negativity in threads. I think there are many who have great attitudes and advice.

I mean, he deliberately gave me bad advice that I told him I don't care for in the past, so instead of getting mad about it, idc.

 

[Tempest]

I do think positivity helps and habituation is the key for some people, but it simply ain't for everybody. It really depends how you got tinnitus and how old are you. For example it's much easier to accept something you had no control over or did not play a part like an illness than something that you did yourself.

There was a person on reddit who said this about his chronic pain, but it does fit well with tinnitus and hearing loss, at least for me:

"I am just not made to go on in this condition. You know how some people are made to be engineers and others are made to be English majors and those two people could NEVER swap places in life because they simply aren't designed for it. Or a kid with ADHD being forced into public schools where they WILL fail because they simply aren't made for that kind of work. Well I'm not designed to handle this and i accept that. But for some reason, nobody else is."

 

[Jazzer]

@threefirefour - 'deliberately gave bad advice'
- well if I did give bad advice I don't believe it was deliberate. Either way, I apologise.

* however you can't win 'em all.
(nice if you can win some of them.)

 

[glynis]

@Jazzer,
Lovely photo of yourself,
Here comes that word again 'positivity' it is a blessing and you have lot's of it.

I understand the Author's
Post that if Habituation is Glorified that we all habituate why search for a cure...
Love glynis

 

[threefirefour]

I do think positivity helps and habituation is the key for some people, but it simply ain't for everybody. It really depends how you got tinnitus and how old are you. For example it's much easier to accept something you had no control over or did not play a part like an illness than something that you did yourself.

There was a person on reddit who said this about his chronic pain, but it does fit well with tinnitus and hearing loss, at least for me:

"I am just not made to go on in this condition. You know how some people are made to be engineers and others are made to be English majors and those two people could NEVER swap places in life because they simply aren't designed for it. Or a kid with ADHD being forced into public schools where they WILL fail because they simply aren't made for that kind of work. Well I'm not designed to handle this and i accept that. But for some reason, nobody else is."

I never thought about this, but I think I fall into this frame. I'm definitely not meant to deal with this. I understand I'm not but it sucks when everyone giving me terrible meme advice about getting used to it. That's why I'm not going to even try to live with it.

 

[Jazzer]

@threefirefour:
- we are struggling to cope ourselves, and people have helped us, so we try to reach out and help others.
But just wishing to help does not mean that we are capable of it, I know that.
I'm stumped. I'm sorry.....x

 

[Liam_Cairns]

@fishbone says - "My point is to push people towards healing and living their lives."

If you look at my early posts you will tell straight away that I was desperately ill with loud constant Tinnitus......sick of the noise.....the worry.....life.

A couple of people on this site really helped me.
They told me that "theirs" was very loud also, maybe even worse than mine, and that over time, the impact would lessen, to the point where I would often be unaware of it.
I wanted to believe them.....but I didn't.

They were right.
I still have the same old....same old.....
but it bothers me much less.
I imagine it's gradual habituation.
There is honestly such a difference in how I feel.
You'll need to take my word for that.

For me, the trick is meditation with exposure.
I won't repeat it on here - @threefirefour - I am aware that my posts are sometimes viewed as lightweight and flaky....to the point of driving you nuts. I do understand that, by the way.

I'm probably one of the oldest on here, at 75, and a cure for me is obviously pretty unlikely.
I feel so sorry for young people with this wretched thing, that probably see it as a life wrecker.
I do hope a treatment, and a cure becomes a reality.

I would suggest, in the meantime, practicing some meditation. I honestly believe it promotes healing, and a more benign acceptance, which in turn, turns the noise intrusion down.

Now - I've been quite flaky enough - so I'll buzz off now. (....shouldn't have mentioned 'buzz...)

Take care folks
Dave x

Just cause you are older and didn't get it when you were young doesnt invalidate your suffering, this disorder is horrible, but in saying that I do believe part of the problem me and many other youngsters have with habituating is that we are going to have to live with this for 50+ years, and go through uni, get married and have kids, with this stupid noise in our heads. It's just so scary.

 

[Zug]

Just cause you are older and didn't get it when you were young does invalidate your suffering, this disorder is horrible, but in saying that I do believe part of the problem me and many other youngsters have with habituating is that we are going to have to live with this for 50+ years, and go through uni, get married and have kids, with this stupid noise in our heads. It's just so scary.

Yeah, it's scary. I know. Be angry at the world. It's ok.

But at some point you'll want to move on with your life. Shit happens. I'm not even 40 and I had friend with Cancer, Heart Attack and so on...

Take a look at the success stories. Life goes on. It does get better.

Also, this whole thread is misleading. Habituation is not "glorified". It's not a "cure", but it does happen.

Best,
Zug

 

[Starthrower]

I mean, he deliberately gave me bad advice that I told him I don't care for in the past, so instead of getting mad about it, idc.

Okay. I enjoy your personality and it is usually more just fun - today you sound like something has gotten to you. But not telling you or lecturing at all it is important to show respect to older people regardless. He isn't like that "other" person he always tries to understand you and your younger age.

- well if I did give bad advice I don't believe it was deliberate. Either way, I apologise

Plus you are hardly old Jazzer. Not in spirit and love of life. Something young people will miss out on these days.
Thanks for you picture. Your eyes show your kind spirit. It is so strange when you mentioned the interest in Old American West. Especially the Native Americans.

My grandmother and father lived in the middle of the American Mohave desert in an old ghost town called Johannesburg. She taught Native American tribal children. Long story so I will leave it at that. As much as it was desolate it was also magical.

Do you ever feel you have a spirit guide? I have come to accept mine because I always end up in a place I am needed. And sometimes I never know why. But I find out.

I do believe part of the problem me and many other youngsters have with habituating is that we are going to have to live with this for 50+ years, and go through uni, get married and have kids, with this stupid noise in our heads. It's just so scary.

I understand Liam. And most younger people haven't yet dealt with life experiences that are hardships (other than tinnitus). I wonder when you are older adults if you will look back and feel differently?

 

[Greg Sacramento]

I prefer not to use the expression habituation with my newer 'out of this world T'. I prefer just to find what comfort I can when I can and it won't be 24/7. For me it about finding some 'relaxed moments'. I take baths, mediate, mindfulness, body lotions, light touch massage, breathing exercises with relax shoulders and by expanding stomach. My wife is a great partner and that makes a world of difference.

 

[Jazzer]

@Zug - absolutely right x

 

[Jazzer]

Do you ever feel you have a spirit guide?

@Starthrower - well I can't say that I have experienced anything like that.
Sounds intriguing.
Spiritually I have always felt alone.
Mentally ill mother - no bonding - isolated childhood - years of depression - some psychotherapy - studied psychology to underssand what went wrong - developed a much better mind set - children - divorce - grand children - re-marriage to a complete angel - and here I am.
With my background I truly appreciate kindness, kind people, and I always try to pass it on.
Having said all that, I understand anger and frustration.
If there is such a thing as a creator, I'd like to point out a few design faults.
"T" is a horrible and hateful thing.
I'm finding out that the very word 'habituation' really annoys particularly younger people, and I can understand that. * It's a compromise.*
To me it represents a search for some comfort - hence I use meditation to achieve it.

 

[Jazzer]

@Starthrower - great to hear about your grandparents in the Mohave desert.
We had some fly/drive holidays to Arizona, New Mexico, Colorado, California - saw Taos, Santa Fe, Mesa Verdi, Death Valley etc....
Indulged my love of Western American Art, and built up a collection of rare art books.
I'll post a couple of favourite pics.
(PS - just thinking - the Navaho battling his way through a sand storm reminds me of myself when "T" first struck me....)

 

[brownbear]

That's why I'm not going to even try to live with it.

Ironically that's probably the single best thing you can do in order to habituate more quickly.

 

[Starthrower]

@Jazzer wonderful photos. There is this book you should read! No one really knows this story. It was an amazing read.

Killers of the Flower Moon
By David Grann


https://www.theguardian.com/books/2017/may/01/killers-of-the-flower-moon-david-grann-review

"A shocking episode of US history is recounted in this story of Native Americans murdered for their oil wealth..."

 

[TheDanishGirl]

I do think positivity helps and habituation is the key for some people, but it simply ain't for everybody. It really depends how you got tinnitus and how old are you. For example it's much easier to accept something you had no control over or did not play a part like an illness than something that you did yourself.

There was a person on reddit who said this about his chronic pain, but it does fit well with tinnitus and hearing loss, at least for me:

"I am just not made to go on in this condition. You know how some people are made to be engineers and others are made to be English majors and those two people could NEVER swap places in life because they simply aren't designed for it. Or a kid with ADHD being forced into public schools where they WILL fail because they simply aren't made for that kind of work. Well I'm not designed to handle this and i accept that. But for some reason, nobody else is."

I have never heard my feeling about having T and H explained better, WIN!

I am actually starting to come to terms with knowing that I can not live with this condition. I am holding on a few more years to see if any research is succesfull, but if there is nothing, I don't want to go on.....It has actually brought me peace coming to terms with the fact that death might very well come for me in the near future. I am not particually scared or grieving about it.....I am past that, and just very accepting of this fact. We all will die sooner or later anyways.

Just a disclaimer: The vast majority of people with T will and can habituate, so if you see this post, know that you will be fine, and that I am a very rare case.

 

[Starthrower]

It really depends how you got tinnitus and how old are you. For example it's much easier to accept something you had no control over or did not play a part like an illness than something that you did yourself.

It is not easier for me knowing a dental specialist took away my life in one day. It is not easier knowing that person got away with doing this to my life. And that was back in 2002.

I had to over come the blame game. I had to come to terms that "crap" happens. I had to let go of my anger and find my way to live again.

I did not habituate. I learned to live again. I was one of the lucky ones with the financial means and supportive husband to carry me into several doctor's offices and help me get back my life. One reason I started working harder was faking it because I saw the happy look in my husband's eyes when I said I had a good day. Sometime you do fake it till you make it.

 

[Tempest]

It is not easier for me knowing a dental specialist took away my life in one day. It is not easier knowing that person got away with doing this to my life. And that was back in 2002.

Well I meant those cases where tinnitus comes from nowhere, not caused by a certain event. The biggest part of suffering comes from the self-blame and repeating the event in your head rather than the noise itself, so you basically get a form of PTSD, that's an important fact that the medical community and doctors should realize.

 

[Starthrower]

I agree @Tempest. I hope my post does not read angry. I just reread it and it seems that way.

 

[Jazzer]

Oh @Starthrower - I am so sorry.
Is it too raw for me to ask you what happened?
Of course I understand it could well be.

I understand the blame aspect.
Mine was caused by a musician, a friend of mine whom I had worked with for 25 years, who aggressively 'blasted off' in my ear at point blank range, and on a prestigious society gig, where I was the bandleader, and was paying him!

Thank goodnesss for your lovely supportive husband.
What intrigues me most is, what treatment could have helped you come to terms with this wretched thing.
I've always felt we have to 'do it' all our selves.

I also adore my partner, and at bad times, if she asks me, I will say "I'm okay sweetheart."
With all that we have come through I live to make her as happy as I can.
As you know, I have learnt some management techniques, but the basic condition, of course, remains for us all. x

 

[Jazzer]

@Starthrower - Killers of the Flower Moon
By David Grann

I will try to get hold of it.
I have read so much about the atrocities meted out to the Indians, that when I visited Taos and other reservations, I actually felt so ashamed at being 'white'......I felt as if I had done it!
And any Indians that spoke to me where incredibly dignified.