LPA!
= Long Post Alert!
If any you read my story about the "Lama Doctor" in Bangkok a little while back, you may recall I gave warning about my inability to be a flitting
Twitterati …That fact remains. If you like short posts, I suggest skipping off at high click when you see my "Triangle Rock" icon.
O.K., first, some background.
1. Remember this all started with Neenie asking for examples of the most crazy Tinnitus cures people had tried, which for me, evolved into "Semi-Wacky Treatments" as I didn't even want to recall how many goofy, ridiculous ones I had tried…So Neenie, if you need some 'distraction' this one's for you! I can assure you that this treatment method is 100% assured to avert your attention from tinnitus while, aaaahh…'stainless steel penetration is being activated' by the good gentleman in Bangkok.
2. Acupuncture is of course a remarkable and respected medical methodology. However, like all healing modalities I suspect, a tremendous amount lies in the hands and skill of the practitioner. Tinnitus seems like such a natural fit for acupuncture to my mind. They are both described in analogies to a kind of electrical energy, or 'current', with an effect on the nervous forces within the body. So of course, over the years I had tried acupuncture treatments a number of times here in the USA for my tinnitus. One even used procaine-lidocaine injections at relevant acupuncture points, but like before, to no avail. No practitioner achieved even the slightest change in my incessant ringing and I gave up on the method. Plus it was not cheap!
3. This story is from last few weeks of the trip I made to Thailand in 2007 in search of a miracle c/o a revered healer who could apparently "raise the dead"…and so on. (See my post a few weeks back on "Semi-wacky treatments for Tinnitus").
OK…So the "Lama Doctor" was a bust. Despite the rhetoric of being able to send the Reaper scuttling away with a broken scythe (I never saw that myself, but his rock-star status implied some such feats must have occurred), his magic had no impact at all on me. I was left with my still wacky gut and my still screeching tinnitus-hyperacusis…In Bangkok…In Noise Nirvana. Not good! And the airlines had messed up the return flight, so we were stuck there for another few weeks. Fantastically bad news, but perhaps an opportunity to try something else to distract my torture and disappointment.
So one evening as I concluded another day of staring mindlessly at the wall, a few gears must have clicked in my head as a very obvious combination of simple thoughts came together.
"Hey, this is Asia!"
My wife (Thai) looked at me with some alarm, no doubt wondering if the Lama doctor's awful concoction of liquids had addled my brain.
"Well…then this is where Acupuncture is for real right?" I pressed.
Obviously relieved that I wasn't more goofy than usual she indeed implied it was common and practiced widely by the huge Chinese Thai community. Even many of the hospitals had sections devoted to it along with traditional Thai herbal medicine and massage. It was mainstream.
So seeing as tinnitus is as close to weirded out body electrical energy as anything, and acupuncture seems to deal in that deck, I decided that it would be worth trying again. At least it would help pass the time and I could stare at somebody else's wall…or ceiling.
"Lets' do it, at least it's bound to be cheap compared to the States!"
Bracing myself for another stimulation assault in Bangkok's traffic and streets, we set out for Viphavadi Hospital where rumour had it there was a great acupuncturist called 'Ajhan' Charat...Which was true.
It was also true that I now discovered why the Thai Massage areas seemed to be close by. Charat did not use needles, he used spears! They were HUGE compared to those used by the practitioners I had seen (unsuccessfully) over the years in the USA. You needed a massage afterwards to calm down from the sight of the darn things!
Working three times a week in an open style clinic on the top floor of the hospital, Charat was always late, but made up for it with a boundless, contagious enthusiasm and the speed he slammed needles (spears) into people as they arrived. One minute they were bowing with hands clasped in prayer mode, then in a flash, they were lying on clean, white sheeted cots with needles all over the place like human pin-cushions. The regulars I guessed. All Thai. I was the only "Farang" (Westerner) in there, so figured he must be the real deal if the locals revered him so much.
Finally, when he had all the other patients jabbed and stabbed he came over to me.
"Ummmmm…do you have to use those?" I asked, nervously eyeing the gleaming stainless steel 'javelins' as I lay covered in a flimsy blue gown that offered no protection from anything. If he stuck one near my ear it looked like it would go right into my brain before it even stabilized enough to not fall out.
He smiled widely obviously not understanding.
"Pressure? Acu-pressure maybe, instead of needles?" I asked with eyes glued to the spears of steel.
"Aaaaaaaahhhhh…No worry." Grabbing a huge needle to show me in case I had not noticed them, he waved one around my face… "This much better!"
Grinning wolfishly to make up for his basic English he asked my wife to translate what the problem was. He sat next to me taking my wrist pulses nodding and murmuring as he listened. Then he frowned. Bad sign, as I hadn't seen that expression yet.
"How long you have still in Bangkok ?" he asked.
"Uh, about two weeks."
He shook his head vigorously… "Need much more time, you sick long time yes?!"
Yeah for sure, undiagnosed chronic something since 2004. The Tinnitus since childhood, plus more in 1980, then again in 2006 with the added hyperacusis.
"Too many things here". He waved at my gut and ears, and about everywhere. A pretty decent summary of the state of the union. "So, we work little bit...all". He clucked his tongue and looked disappointed. "All can do in two weeks. No time, but maybe help."
"Sure go ahead ANYTHING to help, please." I was desperate enough to even try those darn assegais in his needle box thing.
"Good, good…you come three times a week, OK"
Before I had time to answer he had about six spears in me and I was so shocked I just went "Unnngghhh" and gasped. He grinned even more.
"Pet noh?" (Hot yes?).
Understatement!!! Especially when he went for my ears….Wow, I was just "Unnnnghhing" along with no ability to reply. I felt like I was running through a hedge of thorn bushes. Then he was done. I was riddled with needles.
"You lie still. I back soon."…Hey no worries man, I'm not flinching a
muscle here! I was rigid. Well, until he came over a few minutes later with a new box and some matches! This did not look good. Not good at all!
"Still yes?!" he beamed. I think the only thing that moved were my eyes – getting bigger and bigger. He placed these round cube things on some of the needles (which I could barely see except for the forest over my gut and toes) then lit them with a flaming match. "Moxi" he said with delight.
"Uhhhhhhh…." was all I could get out before he was off again.
Needless to say the needles got HOT! Which was the idea. Adding a penetrating fuel to the energy fire-storm he was igniting in my body. It was pretty intense. In fact so much so that I forgot about my tinnitus for the first time in ages. I was also sweating profusely, and it was not just the heat of Bangkok!
Well…I could go on, but you get the gist of it. And indeed I did go over for a massage after a number of the sessions for some relief. It was
all so ridiculously cheap it was laughable, and I dreaded going out into the smog and noise and traffic for the long taxi-ride home.
I managed to get in 5 sessions before the airlines called and said we had to take the next flight out or we may be stuck for ages. (It was festival time…well there's always a festival over there, but this was a bigger one). So I had to end my acupuncture trial and call it quits. We had already been in Thailand 2 months and I was ready to get the hell out of there anyway. The roving loudspeaker salesmen, neighbourhood dogs, people's TVs, trucks, motor-scooters, jets overhead…NOISE! EVERYWHERE! It was driving me nuts. Well, more nuts than I already was.
So with full earplugs in for the long trip back to the States I was relieved to leave behind what appeared to be an unsuccessful attempt to find an oriental cure for my ailments...However, that was not entirely true.
The "Lama Doctor" scored a zero on my scale (so that gets labeled: "Wacky Things I've Tried")…and a "Yes, maybe something!" for the acupuncture. My tinnitus seemed as loud as ever once home, but somehow after a few weeks I realized (and my wife noticed) that indeed I had been less startled and afraid of sounds since returning. I did not shy away from the sink when cleaning pots. I could have my earplugs off more in town. So I think the acupuncture helped the hyperacusis at least, and maybe the tinnitus too.
Now to end off here. I have to say that I think Charat is probably one of the finest acupuncturists in the world. I just sense that, and I have seen a LOT of medical people of all stripes. Plus the more we heard about him, the more that was reinforced. He had a reputation in Bangkok which is thick with reputations, and was clearly very, very deeply, versed in his craft. His humility and humour was an added bonus. The prices for a world master – ridiculous. About US$12 a session including needles charges…The more needles the higher the price. Impressive. An honour actually to meet the man. And unknown to me then, I would do so again.
Enough! Even the non "Tweet Twits" will be gagging at the length of this…More another time as this story is not complete.
Take care….Zimichael
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Maybe in the spring I'll give it a try when hubby's pay is a little more.
