I don't know what to do anymore, I'm tired. I'm close to checking out. I've lost my progress and my tinnitus is extremely high pitch and piercing. Hyperacusis is bad. Tinnitus reacts to noises like A.C running ect., so it climbs to surpass it.
I've had tinnitus for just about 10 years. Mild until about 4 years ago when another noise trauma made it worse. I struggled from that point on, up and down but I kept myself mainly at home. I felt like I had slowly got better to the point where earlier this year I was at a level I could tolerate. I've lost that now.
Why? Because I got hit my smoke alarm from a MORON who set them off outside working on the systems. I've never recovered. Tinnitus constantly spikes and is erratic in the right ear, never stabalizing and competing with noises all the time. I can't even enjoy being outside and listening to the wind blow and trees because this FUCKING tinnitus reacts to it and spikes up. I then started shortly after, working. Where before I've spent the last few years just recovering at home and staying away from the world (outside in a car, grocery store etc.) Now with work I'm getting a lot more noise, supposedly not ear damaging loud, but quick bursts at times. Someone loud talking close to you, things dropping, cars honking. Everyday noises I'm around at work in small bursts. Yet I'm getting worse. I'm further deteriorating on both my tinnitus and hyperacusis.
I wasn't really living before the smoke alarm went off and I started working and being out more, but I was surviving at least. I struggled but things slowly got better if I remained hidden away. Now, I have no progress anymore. My ears cannot get 1-2 months of silence and rest like I used to. I'm literally dying and getting worse just to try to operate normally outside.
I am extremely fearful that my ears are just so damaged and so screwed up, that these everyday noises, and everyday sudden loud exposures even briefly, are making me reach and unrecoverable state. I did not abuse my ears growing up. I went to one loud music festival at 18, had a temp. threshold shift. Recovered, had mild tinnitus and it got worse from a woodsaw outside my window + my slamming my window shut in rage/panic which has given me a worse tinnitus and hyperacusis for the last 4-5 years. That suggests to me my threshold level and damage in my ear, is extensive enough that perhaps I cannot actually experience noise levels above 80 dB even temporary.
I could tolerate my tinnitus at times, and it felt so much better earlier this year. It's so bad now, I'd wager it's worse than the start of 4 years ago. I have never coped, and I never will. I simply held on and hoped the tinnitus would be more hissing and I could tolerate the tone. I got that finally at the end of last year and beginning of this year. Now it's gone. Now it's high pitch and, it constantly spikes in the right ear up and down, erratic misfiring sounds and is even worse now with competing with other noises like fans etc., in a room.
What the hell am I supposed to do? To make matters worse, I apparently had an ETD issue 2 weeks ago in my right ear which wen't away by itself, but the IDIOTS at the ENT used the tympanometry on my ear which changed my tinnitus and hasn't come back to where it was at over 2 weeks ago.
I don't understand. I'm tired. I don't enjoy anything. I hate everything because the tinnitus is so bad now I can't enjoy what I'm listening to or watching or doing because the tinnitus is cutting through. I'm anger and miserable. I cannot believe I lost a baseline I could accept. For what? Because I have to work and live in this shit world where everyone can abuse other peoples auditory systems with no care and no insight on loud noises. I'm dead inside, and I don't think I can go on. I will never cope to this. I need help so bad, and there is none.
I've had tinnitus for just about 10 years. Mild until about 4 years ago when another noise trauma made it worse. I struggled from that point on, up and down but I kept myself mainly at home. I felt like I had slowly got better to the point where earlier this year I was at a level I could tolerate. I've lost that now.
Why? Because I got hit my smoke alarm from a MORON who set them off outside working on the systems. I've never recovered. Tinnitus constantly spikes and is erratic in the right ear, never stabalizing and competing with noises all the time. I can't even enjoy being outside and listening to the wind blow and trees because this FUCKING tinnitus reacts to it and spikes up. I then started shortly after, working. Where before I've spent the last few years just recovering at home and staying away from the world (outside in a car, grocery store etc.) Now with work I'm getting a lot more noise, supposedly not ear damaging loud, but quick bursts at times. Someone loud talking close to you, things dropping, cars honking. Everyday noises I'm around at work in small bursts. Yet I'm getting worse. I'm further deteriorating on both my tinnitus and hyperacusis.
I wasn't really living before the smoke alarm went off and I started working and being out more, but I was surviving at least. I struggled but things slowly got better if I remained hidden away. Now, I have no progress anymore. My ears cannot get 1-2 months of silence and rest like I used to. I'm literally dying and getting worse just to try to operate normally outside.
I am extremely fearful that my ears are just so damaged and so screwed up, that these everyday noises, and everyday sudden loud exposures even briefly, are making me reach and unrecoverable state. I did not abuse my ears growing up. I went to one loud music festival at 18, had a temp. threshold shift. Recovered, had mild tinnitus and it got worse from a woodsaw outside my window + my slamming my window shut in rage/panic which has given me a worse tinnitus and hyperacusis for the last 4-5 years. That suggests to me my threshold level and damage in my ear, is extensive enough that perhaps I cannot actually experience noise levels above 80 dB even temporary.
I could tolerate my tinnitus at times, and it felt so much better earlier this year. It's so bad now, I'd wager it's worse than the start of 4 years ago. I have never coped, and I never will. I simply held on and hoped the tinnitus would be more hissing and I could tolerate the tone. I got that finally at the end of last year and beginning of this year. Now it's gone. Now it's high pitch and, it constantly spikes in the right ear up and down, erratic misfiring sounds and is even worse now with competing with other noises like fans etc., in a room.
What the hell am I supposed to do? To make matters worse, I apparently had an ETD issue 2 weeks ago in my right ear which wen't away by itself, but the IDIOTS at the ENT used the tympanometry on my ear which changed my tinnitus and hasn't come back to where it was at over 2 weeks ago.
I don't understand. I'm tired. I don't enjoy anything. I hate everything because the tinnitus is so bad now I can't enjoy what I'm listening to or watching or doing because the tinnitus is cutting through. I'm anger and miserable. I cannot believe I lost a baseline I could accept. For what? Because I have to work and live in this shit world where everyone can abuse other peoples auditory systems with no care and no insight on loud noises. I'm dead inside, and I don't think I can go on. I will never cope to this. I need help so bad, and there is none.