An amazing morning

[LadyDi]

I had a crazy, ugly day yesterday: almost no sleep the night before, lots of work stress, a rare upset with hubby, screaming tinnitus thanks to thunderstorm after thunderstorm blowing through. Hubby and I resolved the upset, I went to bed early, took a sleeping pill, and finally got in about seven hours.

And so I woke up this morning, feeling refreshed, took a shower... and I swear, when I stepped out to towel off, could not hear my tinnitus. At all. I tried to to listen for it and then just backed off, basking in this moment of peace, reading and sipping my coffee. Yes, it finally returned -- but so soft and gently, just to say "hi."

When my tinnitus started a little over a year ago, I never could have imagined I would have a morning like this some day.

Life is good. I cherish this morning. I am blessed. We all are blessed. If you are having a difficult T day today: please read this and know that your amazing morning is just around the corner. It will come sooner than you think.

 

[Tenna]

when I go straight from the shower to silence I often experience my old silence, slowly a little hiss appears and soon high pitch -.-
It often seems so when I go from somewhere 'loud' to complete silence that I can't hear my tinnitus either?
Great to hear what you experienced! And good you felt refreshed and good even before the shower and the tinnitus happening

 

[Martin69]

when I go straight from the shower to silence I often experience my old silence, slowly a little hiss appears and soon high pitch -.-
It often seems so when I go from somewhere 'loud' to complete silence that I can't hear my tinnitus either?
Great to hear what you experienced! And good you felt refreshed and good even before the shower and the tinnitus happening

That is the same for me. Someone told me that this is called residual inhibition:
When I hear a sound which is similar to my T (crickets, shower, lawn trimmer), the T is gone for some seconds. But then comes back full power. Strange thing.

 

[ampumpkin]

@LadyDi fabulous story... hope it reaches other T sufferer and gives them hope!

 

[Grace]

Aww im so glad you got a moment of peace and quiet god bless you and hope you have plenty more silent times!!!!! Its too unpredictable which i kinda like cause it can go as soon as it came.. And one day it will go for all of us for good

 

[LadyDi]

Hugs for all of you and thanks for letting me share this moment. I knew you all would appreciate it.

It is a strange thing, I agree. Oddly enough, recorded "shower" sounds, often used in masking, make my T crazy. In fact, my ears don't like most water sounds, which are a favorite of many T sufferers. I have to mask in my car when it starts raining, the rain sound makes me nuts. I think maybe the frequencies at which we experience our hearing loss affects this. Mine is pretty high.

 

[billie48]

Great for you, LadyDi. Shower was my only remedy even to just partially mask the dog whistle in my ears during the first month or so of my T life. My wife was puzzled and worried about my strange behavior - always staying in the shower room with the shower on, even sleeping by it with a foldable cot bed with the shower on the whole night. When that wasn't enough for relief, the faucet also got turned on. Even after all that I had to take my Ativan 1 mg & Prozac plus sleeping pill to just get some sleep. Those were the dreadful days of my initial T life, something which still gives me goose bump to think of the desperation & total darkness of that period. Luckily for me, we don't have to pay water bill by consumption here in our suburb of Vancouver. LOL. It is charged at a flat annual fee.

 

[Teri]

billie, I am glad you found a solution to help when you were at a dark place. I never worry about wasting water so much were I live because it goes right back into the ground water to be used again. I do have to pay for the electricity to heat it so in that sense I am careful.

I am trying to find positives that have come out of T. I do, honestly, live my life better. I take full advantage of good days. I am working on trying to not "what if" on the good days. My "negative, distorted thoughts" can get me sad.
I am currently working with a CBT to turn my "stinky thinking" brain into a "positive thought generator". LOL

Here is something that I wanted to share with the board. I have been pretty sad lately because of the recent MD diagnosis, the T. Or that is what I thought was all of it...my CBT stated to me that when you lose a loved one (I lost my mother Dec 8 2012) it is typically the second year when it really starts to hit you. I did not realize this but I think he is right. Sooooo....give yourself ample time to grieve...because it make take more than a year.

 

[Karen]

Teri,

I think that is so true about the grieving process. I lost my mother in 2010, the same year my tinnitus and PT flared up. Then, the next year, it seemed even worse. This year, things are finally beginning to turn around.

Lady Di,

Thanks so much for sharing your amazing morning with us; that gives great hope to all of us!!!

Many thanks, and hugs to all,
Karen

 

[LadyDi]

My heart goes out to you, @Teri and @Karen... it is so hard to lose a parent. My father died more than 10 years ago, and now my mother is becoming more frail. I can hardly bear to think of being without her.

As for grieving (and habituating, for that matter): It takes as long as it takes, I think. Setting up deadlines for yourself isn't helpful or realistic; each person is different. And these processes aren't linear, as we expect them to be. You get a little better, little better, your aren't grieving so much any more or you don't notice your tinnitus as often... then there is a setback. Maybe you spend a bit of time back in the place you came from, maybe not so long. Then the forward movement starts again and you get a little better, a little better... It all unfolds in ways we can't predict.

And @Teri, it sounds like you are doing all the right things. I found CBT to be a tremendous help. Your amazing morning is coming soon, I bet.