AnneG's Tinnitus Journal

#91
Have you guys ever worried about the future? I know its wrong but whenver i think ahead now. Its all Negative! thoughts like 'WHAT IF I WAKE UP TOMORROW WITH LOUDER T!' 'WHAT IF I STAY LIKE THIS FOREVER?' 'WHAY IF I GO INSANE?' 'WHAT IF THINGS WONT GET BETTER?' Can anyone relate to that :/
 
#94
What if I get cancer tomorrow? What if I get diabetes tomorrow because I have been drinking Coke every day in ten years? What if I get hit by a bus tomorrow? What if a meteor hits me in the head? What if there is a earth-quake tomorrow and my house collapse? What if the sun explodes next week? What if a stray-dog bites and kill me? What if firework goes off in my face and make me blind? What if?

Not to sound like an asshole or give you ideas. But there is a million "What if?" in life. You really can't go around being afraid what might happen.

Attack your self with logic when you get a stupid irrational thought. I have been doing that lately. Whenever I let myself get bothered by a stupid though like: "What if my tinnitus gets worse in the future?". I "counter-think" myself with something like: "Thomas, that is stupid and irrational to worry about. You can get cancer tomorrow, but you don't go around and worry about that".

I'm fully aware that when I wake up tomorrow. I will probable still have tinnitus. I also know that it most likely will get worse when I'm out with friends, and that my attention will go to my ringing, which leads me to say something like: "Can you repeat what you said?". But you know what? I'm not going to fucking worry about that now.

The concept that tinnitus will be with you the rest of your life is too much for most people and its a stupid conclusion because in most cases its temporary, not permanent. That is a fact. And if its permanent, most people get used to it anyways and go on. Live life one day at the time and don't take worries in advance.

By the way. I read about a veteran today that had tinnitus for 16 years. He had screaming tinnitus. One day he woke up and it was gone. Yeah, I know that is unlikely after so many years, but it was also unlikely that I should get a hearing-loss and tinnitus because of a innocent dive. So, you never know. :cool:

As normal, all the best wishes. :love:
 
#95
Hi Anne, Most of us here have asked ourselves the same thing. I know I did & to be honest still do sometime.

Then I look at T in a different light. IT IS ONLY A NOISE, IT WILL NOT KILL ME, I KNOW I AM NOT ALONE.

You will get better at controlling your emotions. Sometime at the beginning of T people go into mourning as if someone died, everyone handles it a little different.

Just keep coming here when you feel the need, someone is always here for you....
 
#96
meeruf said:
What if I get cancer tomorrow? What if I get diabetes tomorrow because I have been drinking Coke every day in ten years? What if I get hit by a bus tomorrow? What if a meteor hits me in the head? What if there is a earth-quake tomorrow and my house collapse? What if the sun explodes next week? What if a stray-dog bites and kill me? What if firework goes off in my face and make me blind? What if?


Meeruf you are right, the would if''s will get you every time if you let them. Easier said than done, but true none the less.
I think we are each unique, and will untimely find what works best for us...
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#97
@meeruf - you put perfectly what I wanted to say.

Of course you will worry about the future - gosh, I do all the time! But everyday horrible things happen to good people and in the grand scheme of things as shitty as T is, it's not going to kill me. Send me mad? Maybe ;)

But... (And this is a sad story) I recently found out a lady I know who is in her late 20's has terminal cancer. Sore back one day, the next she is told she won't live for more than a year or so. She has a baby girl.

I know I still have dark T moments but stuff like this puts things into perspective for me.
 
#100
AnneG said:
So Finally i got answers. The cause of the whistling T of mine. is actually involved in the horrible Headache, Spinning room dizziness, and now the T. VERTIGO! Yes its vertigo. He prescribed me on Vitamin B to help my bloodflow. He says my vertigo has been building up for a while. He meant the stress, and yes i am very stressed this past few years. Family issues we faced that almost threw all of us apart. The most important thing i have to do now is RELAX. He said aside from meds relaxing myself, stopping any form of stress to get to me will speed up the healing process. Will return again tomorrow with my aunt who I just figured out had T due to vertigo. Her's lasted 6 months! So over all i am very thankful. Now i feel calmer. :) Hope everyone is doing great!
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happy for you anne ! thats great news so continue to to what the doctor says ,, as for me last night my T became really loud but praying that it will go back down in sound soon ... but hanging in there.....
 
#101
christine kauhane said:
happy for you anne ! thats great news so continue to to what the doctor says ,, as for me last night my T became really loud but praying that it will go back down in sound soon ... but hanging in there.....
Click to expand...

I'm starting to doubt what the doctor say. I mean i am no expert but Vertigo could be caused by other things right? like TMJ, Meniere's and stuff but what can i do right? Is it still loud this very moment? what could have triggered it?
 
#102
just be calm anne , you will only make your self worried... as for now it's a little better thank you jesus i dont know what could have triggered it at all???i did eat alot at church yesterday could be the salt? don't know all i know is that i'm praying it will go down and even better away for good lol...
 
#103
Amelia said:
I am - I think it's me worrying that the sound is another one in my head. I'm constantly saying to others "can you hear that too?"

I feel I'm also sensitive to loud noises - car horns, my kids squealing etc, because I'm worried about further damage
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This is exactly what I experience. Terrified that it's in my head. I suspect my friends think I'm crazy.
 
#107
i am doing fine, baking some cupcakes for church tonight..went for a 2 mile walk and brought some veggies and candles and some more camomile tea the store had some on sale. my T is in my right ear,are you listening to white noise and if so is it helping you? remember just surround your self with family and friends you will be fine, hang on it will get better ..
 
#108
I thought about something these past few days.
i remember that i used to hear defeaning crickets when I'm in a closed quiet room. Its only there that i noticed it, But whenever i left the room. It would be Gone, So i had the thought that maybe i already had T since before, Its only now that i Identified it as Tinnitus that i noticed it. Though its different because what i hear is a WHISTLING noise, Not that cricket. Though that night i had the colds, That night where i think it all started. I woke up at 3am with really loud noises in my ear, I can only describe it as crickets, sands, static. That didn't last though. Only like half an hour, That one would come and go during that 30 minutes or so. I woke up and it was gone, then a day later this. Now i hear whistling. Could it be that Mine's getting worse? Am i going deaf? I feel pressure in my right ear by the way. And i also remember a few months back i would have horrible shooting pain at the back of my head, Also eye pains, and pressure in my jaw after eating, its not really painful, oh and sometimes i would wake up with bite marks on the tip of my tongue. Could it be that all those are connected? Sorry I'm just trying to connect the Dots. :/
 
#109
It's confusing as hell to a lot of people, and for all you know Anne it could just be brought on by stress. Have you listened to anything loud lately? As long as you're not noticing your hearing going and do not feel like your health is being compromised, you're probably fine - otherwise please go see an ENT :cool:

Good luck :) Stressing out over it doesn't help. I have it and so does every poster here.
 
#110
Champ said:
It's confusing as hell to a lot of people, and for all you know Anne it could just be brought on by stress. Have you listened to anything loud lately? As long as you're not noticing your hearing going and do not feel like your health is being compromised, you're probably fine - otherwise please go see an ENT :cool:

Good luck :) Stressing out over it doesn't help. I have it and so does every poster here.
Click to expand...

Thanks for posting back :)
its horrible really, and yes, it is insanely confusing. That i think spending time trying to pin point where it came from isn't gonna cause me anything but more stress. And Nope, not been anywhere Loud. Not really into Clubs and stuff. So i doubt it's from Noise. Nor do i listen to music on headphones that much, way to busy for that. It started on a cold actually. Cold's gone now, but whistling still present. Maybe it is stress :/
 
#111
@AnneG That cricket noise that you would hear since you were a kid in silent environments, that is COMPLETELY normal. Lots and lots of people can hear it, and that is not tinnitus. It's a common noise that everyone usually hears when the surroundings are quiet. And the other parts that you spoke about, I can't be sure. Only time will tell, just wait, relax, exercise, and let's see if it goes away. :)
 
#113
I used to get the same thing as a kid, silence was a noise not an absence of sound. I have also always had bouts of noise, all of a sudden for a few seconds I would get a loud noise in one of my ears. As I grew up I kept getting it and I still do.

Mine first started with a cold, I had got really blocked up with it and took loads of medication (day / night nurse I think) as I couldn't have time off the job I was doing. I developed a really quiet noise in my right ear. Mine stayed but yours could easily go. I constantly plugged my ear to hear if it was still there, which is a big mistake. What you really need to do is try and forget about it - which I know is way easier said than done. You have to deny it attention if you can, that should help give you the best chance of it going away in these early stages.
 
#114
So, its only been 2 weeks since my T started. Its a whistling noise that flactuates. And if anything It got louder, i can't believe i could admit that but it did. Not that much though, and its not always loud. But this past few days i have been reading people's Coping tips, And honestly i have learned a lot! And most of their post makes a lot of sense. I also read about TRT (TINNITUS RETRAINING THERAPY) And honestly i felt better :)
I told myself 'Fine, if your with me forever then whatever, i won't let you stop me' its not easy but its working. Like a lot of people here told me, its not the T itself is causing ne the distress, but my reaction to it. So i tested that out, i tried to screen it out, kept myself busy and believe it or not, i managed that for almost half a day! Yes, that long! Nearly 5-6 hours! And when my attention lurked back to my T, i thought about how horrible i felt when i gave it my 100% attention. So i tried reacting to it differently, Not the same feeling of me panicking everytime i start hearing it but this time i try to ignore it! I literally tell myself "NO! Stressing over it will make it worse! Its not gonna help you, your only gonna put yourself in a state of losing it again." And then I'd find myself distracted, thinking about something elseg again. So i thought maybe it is possible for me to still live my life like i used to be before my T started. As of this moment its 8:30pm, and yes i hear my T, but I'm not reacting to it AT ALL! Its like, a familiar sound but not the one that brings me anxiety, distress, panic, depression etc. I mean yeah, its not easy to keep it up always i mean this afternoon i was back at obsessing over it while i went to the mall with my mom, i found myself covering my ears listening for it and that does make it worse. It made my brain focus on it despite the crazy noise of the mall. So yeah, its only been 2 weeks for me. I still hope that one day I'll wake up with it Gone. But till then, I'll keep up this fight.
 
#115
Great to hear that you managed a stretch of not being mentally tuned into T. That's a big leap. Thumbs up. To see people conquer ground makes this forum so valuable.
 
#116
@AnneG : Great to see you are on the right track. Just keep moving forward. There may be times where you feel like you are going backwards, but just know those are temporary. You are doing Great!
 
#117
@AnneG

This is great news Anne! I told you this would happen. Most people get better. You just need to give time enough time. :cool:

Just remember to take care of your ears in the future. Use earplugs when you are in loud environments and stay healthy.
 
#118
Ok this past few days i can say that i did a pretty Good Job at screening out my T. Its there, but its like my brain blocks it out. But then till this morning, I SNEEZED! And i think my T got Louder, this time i i can hear it CONSCIOUSLY again, now I'm back down to 0. Obsessing over the whistling which now Seem to make a INSTRUMENTAL TONE that i can't describe. ITS DRIVING ME INSANE! I Have done so well :( Now i feel like Cr*p again. Could sneezing affect T?
 
#119
If it went in the last few days I would not worry too much ... it probably will go soon. For some poeple it has been a loud sound that is impossible to block out for years on end, like myself ... so I would cross my fingers if I was you, relax and let your body do the healing.. good luck sweetheart x
 

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