Terry,
You sound so much like me! I'm a little bit farther down the "tinnitus" road than you are, though, and I want to tell you that it WILL get better. You've got to hang in there.
I know you don't want to take any drugs for the anxiety, so here are a few natural supplements that might help. You could try them one at a time --- not all at once! Try holy basil, pharma GABA, magnesium, or reishi mushroom capsules. Natural supplements are slower and more subtle, and they may take a few days to build up in your system, but they do work. For me, I think it was partly psychological when I was taking these supplements; just the thought that if things got bad, I could take something natural. That really kept me going, through the worst of the anxiety.
When you wake up at 2:00 A.M. and start having an anxiety attack, you could get up, walk around a short while to clear your head, and maybe try taking one of the supplements. I have gotten off all of the supplements now, because my anxiety is mostly gone, except that I continue to take magnesium chloride. It really seems to help me. Even my restless legs have gone away since I've been taking the magnesium.
It helps to have some kind of support system, and if you don't have anyone around you that understands, just come onto this site and share your feelings. We understand and care about you!!
It took me awhile, but the anxiety, crying jags, and hopelessness finally calmed down, and I have accepted my tinnitus. I still have the pulsating, too, and I am still looking for answers, but I've settled into a sort of routine, and can face each day as it comes, one day at a time.
Don't give up. Please hang in there, and come here to vent as often as you like!