Hello all,
Musical Ear Syndrome has been a four-year journey of hell for me, but I now have some hope, and I want to share with you all what I have learned in the hope that it can help you, too.
It all started when I left my stressful banking job, my husband and I decided to go for early retirement and get out of the rat race and travel. I remember thinking how I wanted to rid my head of all the stress and worry, and replace it with calm and silence. Little did I know what was around the corner.
My brain started to play music - all familiar songs - in about eight second repetitive loops. At first I figured it was just an earworm. But it didn't go away and became highly distressing as many of you will relate to. My anxiety and stress level went higher, I couldn't sleep, and the music in my head became constant. My doctor, who didn't know what to do with me, gave me sleeping pills and Seroquel. The WORST possible decision.
I became hooked on the sleeping pills, just to get any kind of relief, and the Seroquel did nothing but perhaps made the symptoms worse. I was referred to a psychiatrist and treated for mental illness for 3 years. Never, during this time, was musical tinnitus or MES even explained to me as a possibility. I just assumed I was going crazy. I considered taking my life, because nothing was working. That's how bad it got for me.
Then, two things happened, which have changed my life around:
1) I stumbled across hearinglosshelp.com (no affiliation) and reached out to the site author, Neil Bauman, Ph.D., who is in fact the doctor who named this condition "Musical Ear Syndrome". I spent an hour on the phone with him, and learned as much as I could about the condition. I highly recommend you visit his site and reach out to him, he tries to answer everyone individually.
2) I visited an audiologist, who ruled out hearing loss and suggested I receive the same treatment as a severe case of regular tinnitus. She suggested I wear Widex Hearing Aids playing Zen Sounds 24/7, and receive Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).
Widex Zen sounds are "fractal sounds" - almost like wind chimes - so they sound musical enough to satisfy your musical brain but they are completely random, no patterns or repetition, they are generated within the hearing aid. So if you struggle with always "hearing" the last song that played, it's because it gets committed to your short-term memory and the brain calls upon it as the easiest melody to play in your brain. Fractal sounds, on the other hand, don't stick in the brain. This, for me, was a complete revelation.
I now wear hearing aids playing these "wind chimes" 24/7, yes even while sleeping. They helped me get off the sleeping pills and all other medication, and I am much calmer. I play them at the quietest volume possible and they give me enough sound stimulation to shut my musical brain off, so I don't have to think about it every second of every day and can re-focus my attention to what is truly important in life.
Like many of you, I have developed hyperacusis and have difficulty going into grocery stores or other people's homes etc. because I have had to remove myself from musical environments for so long. It is still uncomfortable for me to hear real music because the fear has been embedded in me that it will stick in my brain and drive me crazy. And, when I take my hearing aids out even for a few minutes, this fear becomes warranted again. For this, I am undergoing Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), which is helping me to understand that I cannot avoid or fight MES, but have to learn to accept it without judgement.
For anyone really struggling with this condition, please know that you are not alone and that there is help available.
This study talks about fractal tones and how they help tinnitus. It is well worth a read.
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