Argh, I Feel Jealous and a bit... Stuck

[derpytia]

So a few months after I got T one of my friends got it along with balance issues and headaches. Well her husband finally took her to the doctors and she got this shot of something and the doctor told her that she has a bunch of fluid in her sinuses and her lymph nodes are a bit swollen around her neck. He gave her some medicine he said would help clear it out and after taking it and getting that shot she says her ringing went away for the first time in 6 months and hasn't come back. I wish my T was that fixable (it was caused by ETD, too much noise exposure in one day, and a sinus infection clear up) and I admit to feeling a bit jealous that she was able to get rid of her T and I will never be able to. I've been coping much better than I was 8 months ago and I can go throughout my day and not break down every time I get annoyed with my multi-tone T. But I still get sad over the limitations T has brought to my life and I wonder if this is actually what habituation means. Not breaking down and not going nuts over T and 'living with it' but still feeling like life is passing me by a bit because there are some fun things I just cannot do now that I have T... Sorry just rambling. Not really in the depths of despair just kinda feeling a bit sad is all.

 

[mmacabre]

well, you don't necessarily know that you will never be able to get rid of your T. perhaps you might have to cope with it for an extended portion of your life, but since none of us can really predict what will surely happen days, months, or years from now, it remains a complete possibility that in some way shape or form you may well eventually become less bothered by T, have it be less limited by external factors, or have it improve. any project that benefits neuroscience, pharmacology, stem cell (etc.) or the understanding of the interaction between the auditory system and the rest of the nervous system could lead to developments in T research, and this is something that has already been happening. so yes, you have to cope with this now and in what seems to be the indefinite future, and that sucks and it's okay to feel sad or jealous to not be able to do everything you did before T and it's definitely okay to feel that way if your friend got away free from it and you still haven't. just hang in there! i just hope you don't tell yourself "never" too much, because anything can happen in the futureeeeee (deep voice from the future)

 

[Jay M]

Shot of what?

 

[Telis]

I get the jealously thing...I can barely sit and listen to my friends and how happy they are. Hell I'm even jealous when they are stressed about small things (well I consider them small). Didn't think I was a jealous person, guess T has completely changed my personality.

 

[rtwombly]

@derpytia That's not all habituation is. You get to the point where you're thinking, what am I missing, really? Personally it's the 2-3 movies I might have gone to in the theater, and I'm not sure at this point if I really need to skip 'em all. I took my daughter to Rainbow Rocks and with my earplugs in I could still hear just about everything except a few lines from Fluttershy.

A few months ago I was where you are now. I missed my fitness routine and those couple of movies and video games and anime and...wait, why can't I play video games? 'Cause I can hear the ringing a bit on the loading screens? That's like 3 seconds an hour. Oh, hey, I do still enjoy this. Anime? It's never quiet enough to need extra masking, and lots of my favorites take place in those hot Japanese summers with the cicadas shrieking in the background. Huh. What was it I couldn't do again?

I think it's a normal human reaction. When something is taken from you, you blow it up in your mind into THE MOST IMPORTANT THING EVER. Then after you go without it for a time your subconscious starts to realize it can make do without, and whatever you were grieving for loses its inflated importance. Then you actually find new things to enjoy! I mourned coffee and tea for awhile. Now I enjoy the occasional decaf and a nice chamomile.

Hang in there. It gets better, and I still believe we may all be cured in another 12-18 months. Then we can have silence AND a healthy respect for our own mortality!

 

[Dustydom]

Well your post certainly made my day, as my symptoms are similar to your friends, so for today, I have hope. However I may be back on Wednesday after my ENT visit in dispair.

Even if I am, I am still hopefully that habituation is not just getting by day to day. I have read a number of stories on here of people who have described thier Tinnitus as like a jet engine or a dentist drill, but they don't hear it anymore. They know it is there, but they just don't care. It takes time, but if you want to get there, you will. The human body can cope with enormous changes, and not let it ruin everything.

All I will say is look at the number of posters with 10 years of Tinnitus and looking for help? Very few. That is because after a while, usually just a year or two, people don't need the help of the board anymore. They are happy and healthy.

 

[Marlene]

Think what Derpytia said about her friend of interest ,allergies and Eustachian tubes ,be of interest to finding out what friend was given .ive searched and not come up with a remedy .
I wish something could be found to clearing sinuses up ,even if nothing could stop the T ,yes I wish that gone once and for all .
Hope Derpytia gets back to friend,and find what was given med wise .,if don't work for some ,I would certainly relay what it was on to others ,with this add on problem and T .My balance alone I'd love to get shot of ,keeps me indoors a fair bit .
Will watch this thread ,good Derpytia for bringing this up .You may have helped a fair few of us on TT this day .

 

[Champ]

Don't be too jealous... I understand the feeling, and I've had it myself. Your friend is feeling something amazing.

When legitimate treatments come in our lifetime, of which there are many, you will feel an even better sensation of relief than she can even imagine =)

 

[Marlene]

Derpytia ,you weren't rambling just saying how your feeling ,and why not ,we all do that .some days bit lighter than others ,and some days your just scraping through .All understand it .Think TT you've got one place you can just get on site and say how you are I do on my worst of days .who of us don't .Hey I'm jealous of ones who don't have T ,and have days of silence not in my nature envy but Yes since I've got it .

 

[derpytia]

I asked my friend what the docs gave her and she said "fluticasone propionatd nasal spray and fioricet" and she said her ringing now comes and goes but it isn't an all day and night thing like it has been. she says she'll give me the full detailed list tomorrow when she wakes up

 

[Marlene]

Thank you Derpytia that's good of you,interesting how people just talking find things out .
Have written down what you mentioned . Again thanks .

 

[walkthroughwalls]

Whenever I find myself thinking about how unfair everything is (which is often), I try to not compare myself to others. We're all starting from different places, so a true comparison can't be made. And most of all, it serves no purpose whatsoever.
That said, I've far from mastered my own advice : )
All we can do is make the best of our situations, be happy for someone else's good fortune, and try to help each other out whenever we can.

In my experience, life hasn't only been passing me by; life has been doing laps around me while I was stuck in the gutter. It all got a bit better when I got some idea of where I wanted to take my life, and was less concerned of getting on the same train as those around me. It might be a good time to develop or explore some other interests.

I have no idea if this helps or not