Kathi, in the title of your post you asked if habituation is a myth. Not only isn't habituation a myth, but you are already on the way to habituating.
In December, you wrote that you didn't want to go on. Now, even when tinnitus is buzzing along it doesn't upset you so much. After five months, you are going out again and living your life, going to work, and providing for your family. If you look at habituation as a process, rather than an end state (which is a good way to think about habituation), then there isn't a single thing worth finding out about habituation from anyone here that you are not in the process of already finding out on your own or in the work you will do with your therapist.
You write about yourself as a "tough case" whose thinking is "distorted and catastrophic". I don't think you are a tough case at all. I can think of hundreds and hundreds of people who didn't automatically get used to tinnitus, including myself, who weren't tough cases either. We were just having a tough time.
Taking Xanax is helpful to you, not just by helping you to perceive tinnitus as lower, but also by helping you to feel less anxious. As you said, it has made a huge difference in your life. It has helped you to feel much less stress, worry and fear. You don't have to exchange that for habituating tinnitus. You are already in the process of habituating tinnitus and there is no reason to believe you won't continue to do that whether you take Xanax at this time or not.
I very strongly agree with what DebS wrote to you that the time it takes to not be affected by tinnitus differs for every person. I feel differently than Deb does when she writes this can be related to the severity of the tinnitus. I think it is due to the response we have to tinnitus, rather than to how loud it is, or any other quality we use to measure severity. With everything that has been going on in your life – the illness of your spouse and the loss of your business – maybe your response to tinnitus was exactly what it needed to be. Maybe you had no choice than to respond exactly as you did at the time.
One thing that comes through very strongly in your posts is that you are concerned you may not be going about habituating "the right way" and you wonder if there is a game plan on how to habituate. Well, take heart. There are steps you can take from the work you will do in cognitive behavioral therapy so that you can be
your own game plan. Rather than "ignoring tinnitus" the key may have more to do with paying attention to the content of your thinking and, as you go forward, applying some tenets of CBT.
I don't think you will ever need TRT, or that you need to make an effort to ignore tinnitus or distract yourself from it, or that you should talk yourself into feeling positive (if that isn't how you feel in a particular moment), or that you need to do your homework.
After reading your posts in this thread, there isn't a doubt in my mind that you will be fine. It is a good sign of more good things to come that you already forget about tinnitus when you are engrossed in something else that has your attention. Over time, chances are good you will become less and less annoyed by tinnitus and probably find yourself actively listening to it much less and "measuring" tinnitus less and less. Over time, you won't even feel the need to distract yourself from it.
Don't worry about being flexible. You
are flexible. You had these incredibly difficult stressors in your life and took action to get a handle on things – which you are doing beautifully.
Don't worry about Xanax. It is immaterial whether there is a theoretical basis for whether it can inhibit habituation. You are doing great and, as you say, taking it has helped your reaction to tinnitus – and especially helped you deal with the incredible amount of stress you have faced.
Don't worry if you don't understand what habituation is all about. Anyone who can write the following has everything she needs inside her:
"I am already taking steps to live my life--work, make love with my husband, go out socially--no matter what my T is doing so maybe I'm on the right path."
Or this:
"I'm not changing any plans because my T is loud that day. I'm not frightened anymore by my T--not even in the morning. It's like, "yeah, here it is trying to get my attention."
View attachment 1227Some days are still bad though--I have ups and downs but lately I'm having more ups and the downs aren't quite so bad."
Remember, habituation is a process, not an end state. You are already on the way.
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