@Uklawyer
No, I wasn't afraid of that happiness. I'm sure.
I was prone to obsession before tinnitus (I mention it because stubbornly you can call it "struggles to be happy and positive", but I guess I wasn't unhappy or negative). However, tinnitus in its time gave me a new understanding of this word.
Thank you for your comments. Did this or some other methods work for you? Is tinnitus controlling your life or have you been able to move on and mostly ignore it?
George
It was very bad in 2018, 2019 and 2020. Maybe I would like to summarize it somehow, but I can't. As an example, however, I can give a situation when, after more than a year, the first thought in the morning was that if I am to get up now and worry about it so much all day, I don't want to.
However, at the end of 2020, I came across
some supplements:
- Cerinax (so called "psychobiotics ", they improve the relationship between your intestines and your brain).
- MB Adapt (MB stands for Mood Balance, so it should knock out stress - it contains among other things magnesium and vitamin B6).
- LG-support (natural resistance, detox).
It has been much better since then, although it is known - it's a roller coaster. It's not that changeable, it's quieter, and as a result I'm not that obsessed, I'm rarely afraid of it.
As for ignoring ... Well, I do what most peers do (work, study, etc). But:
1) I am aware of the topic of tinnitus (and eye floaters) almost all day long (BIG SUCCESS - one thing is to be aware of it and another to be sick with worry from the first thought to the last one).
2) I often drown out tinnitus with YouTube recordings, so something like "I sit in silence and forget I have it" (BIG SUCCESS - before I discovered Decola, jamming tinnitus was usually not an option, I had to confront it when it was bad, just like hearing an ominous knock on the engine, the driver is unlikely to turn up the volume of the radio to drown it out).
3) I am still ready to try all the drugs and treatments that come out on the market (antiepileptic new version of Trobalt, Dr. Shore's device and so on).
So my attitude to it is far from ignoring the tinnitus. But:
1) It's not bad when I'm aware of the topic but I don't suffer (it happens quite often, especially if I'm aware of the topic but don't hear the tinnitus).
2) I don't even expect myself to have situations like "I don't hear tinnitus in a quiet room because I don't think about it" or "floaters float in front of my eyes, but I can't see them because I don't focus on them". I don't expect something that is within the reach of some people, but within the reach of others - including me - not. Just like I don't expect myself to win a math Olympiad.
@GeorgeLG - I read your posts in this thread. Do I understand that you have been suffering from chronic pain and have begun to wonder why you are obsessed with it?
I am asking because, in my worldview, chronic pain = constant threatening negative stimulus = thinking about it 24/7 (or at least being aware of it that way) is an obvious, inevitable response.
No, I don't have chronic pain. It just interests me.
I am obsessed with tinnitus and floaters (they came back 3 months ago after resolving on their own a year ago). But I don't have any feelings about insulin resistance and psoriasis, I hardly think about those. So I don't react that way to all diseases. The difference is that I am taking effective medications for psoriasis (temporary remission of symptoms), and insulin resistance does not cause any form of suffering.