Hi all,
I have been following this thread since I found it on October 7 of this year, and started the Back to Silence method the same day. I didn't want to register to the forum or give any reaction in this thread until I knew if it could be a possible solution to my tinnitus.
So, I have been acknowledging my tinnitus since that day and at first I just used my own responses to it, like: "I hear it. It has been tormenting me for the last 11 months and I want it gone". I did that whenever I was bothered by it (my responses varied) and on that first day I noticed a shift in awareness. Whereas in the beginning when I got it, I used to have full on panic attacks and took all kinds of tranquilizing meds like Oxazepam or Valium, but with this Back to Silence method I noticed on the first day that I could get a grip on the panic and the nerves it causes.
It kinda feels like when you were scared of monsters under your bed as a kid, but instead of burying your head under the covers and shake till you fall asleep, you get out of bed and go look under the bed, only to find out that there's nothing scary.
For me the Back to Silence method seems to put the tinnitus in the right perspective. Now, after almost 5 weeks, the tinnitus is still there, but it seems less intrusive and in the last two weeks I had 3 times that I didn't even notice it for 2 days in a row. I hardly take any tranquilizers anymore, maybe a quarter of one tablet a week or nothing.
Soon after I started responding to my tinnitus with this method, I found that most of the times I couldn't really come up with a response other than: "I hear it, but it's just an insignificant sound, just ignore it", or what else to say, so I just started to do it my own way:
Whenever it bothers me big time, I go up to my bedroom where it's quiet. I close the door behind me and stand there in the dark and quiet. I close my eyes, relax all my muscles and control my breathing. I take a big, slow inhale and I listen for the tinnitus and when I exhale, I say: "I hear it, but I am relaxed". I really try to relax when saying the word "relax". I repeat that like 5 or 6 times until I calm down. Then I go about my business.
In this thread I noticed that most people also don't know what to say, but they are not magic words, as far as I'm concerned. For me personally it's the feeling that is attached to the activity of responding. I could be saying: "I love the tinnitus, I don't ever want it to go away", but in my heart I feel the exact opposite. For me what I feel is more important than what I say, which is why the 'Fake it till you make it' thing might work.
Another thing I noticed, which can really stand in the way of getting the tinnitus under control, is one's character, one's discipline and one' understanding of what it is. I'm a person that needs to be able to control everything in my life, especially when it comes to my own person, so getting confronted with tinnitus was hard, but now that I seem to be on the right track using Back to Silence, I'm hopeful for the future. My life in the first 10 months revolved around that damn tinnitus. Now I feel I'm slowly getting my life back.
Been to a TRT therapist before I discovered this thread but since I already read the book on TRT from Jastreboff and I seemed to grasp what needed to be done, he really couldn't help me. I am waiting on a wearable white noise generator but I'm thinking of not getting it.
I do my own sound enrichment at night with an iPhone app I use called SimplyRain.
Well, is my tinnitus gone yet? No. But for most of the time I can put it into perspective and see it for what it is. Sure, it spikes back up a couple times a week (sometimes for longer than a day before returning to base levels), but I don't let it control me anymore. Despite that, I won't forget that tinnitus is nothing more than a cowardess beast that preys on your weakness. The less power you give it, the less annoying it will become.
I hope you all will find strength and peace.