Bad time :(

[Amelia]

Just a whinge - no need to reply...

Just having a run of really bad days which makes me so cranky - we have just celebrated my beautiful sons 2nd birthday, the weather is beautiful, my kids are happy and life in general is swimming along, and I feel so low in spite of all this

For the last few weeks I've had an influx of new floaters who are in my visions constantly - not just in bright environments and they are driving me crazy - add to that a T spike for no reason at all. I was happily listening to a train the other day until it realised that wasn't a train in the background - it was my ears and my regular ringing/white noise sound contributes louder than ever.

I feel like I'm spending my days just surviving. It's depressing

 

[gary]

Just a whinge - no need to reply...

Just having a run of really bad days which makes me so cranky - we have just celebrated my beautiful sons 2nd birthday, the weather is beautiful, my kids are happy and life in general is swimming along, and I feel so low in spite of all this

For the last few weeks I've had an influx of new floaters who are in my visions constantly - not just in bright environments and they are driving me crazy - add to that a T spike for no reason at all. I was happily listening to a train the other day until it realised that wasn't a train in the background - it was my ears and my regular ringing/white noise sound contributes louder than ever.

I feel like I'm spending my days just surviving. It's depressing

Hi Amelia, I hear ya, my floaters are not bad at all, but my T has also been raging the last three days. Lets hope the train derails soon!!!

 

[seal]

Hey Amelia, don't be sad,everybody of us has bad days... and you're still quite at the beginning, your T hasn't even been with you for a whole year. And still you made a huge progress in those few months and that's how it will go on until one day you will be totally fine again. I have spikes,too, I know it's frustrating- but it will get better again.
for the floaters: if they are getting more and seem to disturb you, please go see an eye doctor about it, because in rare cases they can be linked to a detachment of the retina.. so just to be careful let a doctor check.

 

[Amelia]

Thanks @seal - saw an optometrist a few days ago and thankfully my retina looks fine. He actually said he has a lot of floaters too and it's just a case of "live with it" - just like T.

Hopefully my next medical issue is curable!

 

[Jeff M.]

Just a whinge - no need to reply...

Just having a run of really bad days which makes me so cranky - we have just celebrated my beautiful sons 2nd birthday, the weather is beautiful, my kids are happy and life in general is swimming along, and I feel so low in spite of all this

For the last few weeks I've had an influx of new floaters who are in my visions constantly - not just in bright environments and they are driving me crazy - add to that a T spike for no reason at all. I was happily listening to a train the other day until it realised that wasn't a train in the background - it was my ears and my regular ringing/white noise sound contributes louder than ever.

I feel like I'm spending my days just surviving. It's depressing

Hey Amelia,

I am so sorry to hear you are traveling through a valley right now!! It totally sucks when we take stock of our lives and everything seems to be just fine, even great, yet T robs us of embracing the goodness around us!! I have never dealt with those floaters, must be making you nuts on top of your T!

I hope it's not too cliche, but hang in there!!! Our journey with T is, unfortunately, a series of peaks and valleys. Hang on to those beautiful things in your life and KNOW you'll get through this and will be enjoying them soon enough. I am just coming out of a nasty 2-3 week spike that drained me something fierce! But I am on the mend and determined to soldier on. I have a wonderful wife and three great sons at home. I am fighting for them!

All the best friend!!

Jeff

 

[billie48]

Hi Amelia, sorry to hear you have a tough patch with T & floater lately. Dont' know about floaters but T can spike or change tone on and off. You are still quite new to T. It is normal to get a bit stressed by it. This is a mental battle with T which can be won. Think of T as a bully who will come to taunt you at times & create stressful reaction. It is important to learn how to moderate our reaction to this bully so that the brain will not constantly think that T is a mortal threat. I have found that the best approach is to remain strong & positive and flow with the situation. It is of course not easy facing this bully and remain calm. It is important to balance things out. Accept that part of the day T may have its say, but other part of the day you focus on the positives. When you tell yourself you are willing to share time with T and peacefully co-exist with it, it will slowly lose its grip on us. In CBT I learned the importance of avoiding 'All or Nothing' thinking. Life doesn't have to be worthless or meaningless just because we have T. With Darlene Cohen, I learned the approach 'Finding Joy Amid the Pain'. Joy & pain can co-exist peacefully. So with these, I decided to flow with T. Let T be, and let the beauty of life be (love, affection, family, angelic children, or nature, discovery, intelligence etc. etc.) and T does not have to occupy every second of it. Even on the days with extremely loud T, I just imagine I have the job of a driller or miner, even flight attendant on a 16 hours shift. Some of these people in the 3rd world don't even have ear protection. And they don't get stressed out like us by the sound. Most work happily just so they can feed the family. Something like this:



If they can accept loud noises for life for wages, I could try to accept my T just so that I can enjoy the rest of my life back. This is not a perfect analogy, but we can ill afford perfect analogy when the happiness of the rest of our life is at stake. When you stop fighting this T sound, the T bully will be like the wicked witch sprayed with water by Dorothy - its power over you will be melting and dissipate over time. Best wishes to you Amelia.

 

[citigirl13]

I completely understand. I've had a bad couple of days myself - am so sick of it! The only thing that is keeping me going is that the ringing definitely went away - I blocked my ear and nothing! It possibly stayed away for 15 mins of maybe just 5, but it gives me hope. You haven't had T for very long either, so you have reason to hope.

I think we will all have bad days even if we have had T for months or even years. The important thing is that we get through them and look on the bright side of things - like your son

I know it's hard - I have gone up and down in my mood - but there is always hope. If nothing else I predict there will be better treatments in 10-15 years, perhaps sooner. So even if T is here to stay, I do not think we will be stuck with it forever

 

[carol kane]

10 to 15 yrs is forever ...

 

[michela]

Hey Amelia, don't be sad,everybody of us has bad days... and you're still quite at the beginning, your T hasn't even been with you for a whole year. And still you made a huge progress in those few months and that's how it will go on until one day you will be totally fine again. I have spikes,too, I know it's frustrating- but it will get better again.
for the floaters: if they are getting more and seem to disturb you, please go see an eye doctor about it, because in rare cases they can be linked to a detachment of the retina.. so just to be careful let a doctor check.

hi seal, im from germany,too! from freiburg! are you an american living in germany or are you german ,too? your english is sooo perfect, i would think you are american!

 

[Raul]

im suffering from eye floaters lately too, wearing sunglasses would help you im wearing it sometimes even at home while im watching tv or something lol
and believe me it's not a case of "live with it" there's a laser treatment and also a surgery but it's kinda risky but i know many people who made it and overcame floaters safely so maybe someday i will make that surgery or the laser thing. also try to take omega 3 pills it helps

 

[Jeff M.]

Hi Amelia, sorry to hear you have a tough patch with T & floater lately. Dont' know about floaters but T can spike or change tone on and off. You are still quite new to T. It is normal to get a bit stressed by it. This is a mental battle with T which can be won. Think of T as a bully who will come to taunt you at times & create stressful reaction. It is important to learn how to moderate our reaction to this bully so that the brain will not constantly think that T is a mortal threat. I have found that the best approach is to remain strong & positive and flow with the situation. It is of course not easy facing this bully and remain calm. It is important to balance things out. Accept that part of the day T may have its say, but other part of the day you focus on the positives. When you tell yourself you are willing to share time with T and peacefully co-exist with it, it will slowly lose its grip on us. In CBT I learned the importance of avoiding 'All or Nothing' thinking. Life doesn't have to be worthless or meaningless just because we have T. With Darlene Cohen, I learned the approach 'Finding Joy Amid the Pain'. Joy & pain can co-exist peacefully. So with these, I decided to flow with T. Let T be, and let the beauty of life be (love, affection, family, angelic children, or nature, discovery, intelligence etc. etc.) and T does not have to occupy every second of it. Even on the days with extremely loud T, I just imagine I have the job of a driller or miner, even flight attendant on a 16 hours shift. Some of these people in the 3rd world don't even have ear protection. And they don't get stressed out like us by the sound. Most work happily just so they can feed the family. Something like this:



If they can accept loud noises for life for wages, I could try to accept my T just so that I can enjoy the rest of my life back. This is not a perfect analogy, but we can ill afford perfect analogy when the happiness of the rest of our life is at stake. When you stop fighting this T sound, the T bully will be like the wicked witch sprayed with water by Dorothy - its power over you will be melting and dissipate over time. Best wishes to you Amelia.

I had to reply because TT doesn't have an emitcon for "Totally Agree!". Great perspective billie (as usual)!!

 

[James]

Hi Amelia,

Happy Birthday to a 2yr old son, how cool is that, and good weather too.
I had a few bad days too, makes me wonder how I manage or even fall asleep at night. Then a better sleep seemed to give me some energy. I liked your post, swimming along in life sounds good to me.

 

[LadyDi]

Hey Amelia, hugs and hang in there. There are better days ahead.
BTW: If you search the TT site, you will see a lot of people (like Raul) have floaters. I think there is a thread on here somewhere about it.

Hugs.

 

[Amelia]

Thank you all so much. Seriously. I'd go nuts without this forum and everyone on it.

I feel so overwhelmed at the moment and hate having these 2 issues that I can't fix. I'm not good with things I cannot control. And I'm exhausted from trying to ignore them.

But ... Ive got my phone next to me with windchimes playing drowning out the ringing so at least that's something.

 

[Roger]

Gday Amelia, I hope the noise settles down a bit for you. I just had a few not so good days- you know, just getting on with life despite the noise. Ironically, when the volume drops like it has today, (mercifully) I cant get too much done- I'm too bust feeling relieved. Oh well, Onwards. Hope the volume drops for you. R

 

[seal]

hi seal, im from germany,too! from freiburg! are you an american living in germany or are you german ,too? your english is sooo perfect, i would think you are american!

Thank you sweetheart, this is such a nice compliment! I am actually German, feel free to message me any day in German if you feel like it.