Benzo Withdrawal -> Tinnitus Is Way Louder. I'm Losing It. Please Talk to Me.

[J.Hartog]

I am going through a very hard benzo withdrawal and I am going through pure hell, I used Ativan when needed now and then. Back in December I had a rough month and used 1mg daily, after that month I felt better and just quit again like I always did. Never knew about tapering and my docs never warned me about the dangers.

My tinnitus spiked and also I had extreme anxiety and I didn't know it was the cold turkey of 1 month of benzo's.
My doctor miss diagnosed the situation and they just thought I was purely anxious I ended up on 5mgs of Ativan daily. My tinnitus was not acting up anymore and I stabilized and started tapering now in taper my tinnitus is ramping up like crazy. Specially when waking and in the middle of the night. Also during the day it is louder.

I am terrified this is the new volume, I isolate myself, cry, think about dying and am at the end of my wits.

Benzo withdrawal is brutal enough without tinnitus, it gives me severe depression, anxiety, head pressure, weight loss, at the moment I am on 2mgs of Ativan and the first 3mgs taper I was doing ok, I tapered the first 3 mgs fairly fast in about 3 months, no spikes in my tinnitus. Just some rough patches here and there mentally. Now with the louder tinnitus I feel like I am losing the battle. It is too much to deal with and I am living like a ghost. I need help but I don't know where to turn.

On benzobuddies there are people who got tinnitus from just using benzo's, some heal some don't so my thought is I already had tinnitus so I just will end up with worse tinnitus. I am so angry at my doctors and myself for taking this rat poison. For the moment my life is destroyed and I hope I will make it. If I knew this spike was temporary maybe I would be more calm but there is no way to know.

I need relief somehow, but there is nothing out there. Doctors are clueless about benzo's and I hate them, my family want's to help but they are clueless. I feel like I am on a different planet. What can I do?

 

[glynis]

I would see your doctor and stay at the dose you are on now till your brain catches up and settles with this dose and ears settle.
Try again in 3 months time when you will be able face another drop.
love glynis

 

[Jiri]

How long have you been taking Ativan? Apart from the cold turkey in the beginning, what's your current taper plan? I am so sorry btw. You're right a lot of doctors know s*** about how to properly w/d someone from benzos.

You need to keep looking for a psychiatrist or neurologist or clinical pharmacist that you'd have confidence in. You need proper guidance, information and support. If you feel it's just too mentally and/or physically overwhelming (as it appears to be), just drop everything and find a good psychiatric hospital asap or visit your GP to get a referral first so they can't kick you out of the hospital. Monitoring is required.

Keep us updated.

 

[Alex99]

Ativan is a terrible benzo. Your doctor is pretty bad to precribe you @5mg a day. It is too short acting and has you going up and down like a roller coaster. It really is for panic attacks only while taking another benzo that steadily stays in your system; if taken properly. (Half morning/half night) I suggest finding a (good) benzo knowledgeable psychiatrist and doing a cross taper to Klonopin/ Clonazepam or Diazepam/ Valium.

Make sure you connect with a mental health professional. Stay off the internet. Especially benzo buddies.

I highly doubt this is your new normal in volume so try to relax as much as you can..

 

[Kelvin]

Ativan is pure evil...
I was prescribed 1mg a day for Three months in 1998, for neck and shoulder pain.
I quit cold turkey and thought my life had ended.
That was 20 years ago and they still use this damn stuff.
On a positive note...you WILL live.
You can experience any manner of withdrawal effects - anxiety, depression, sweats, racing heart, fast digestion and yes Tinnitus.
It took me ( sensitive type so my Doc said..he has since died of a brain tumour - Karma ! ) about Two years to recover mentally from just Three months of use.
Not sure why, as chemically the drug clears in a few weeks.
Some people have a real hard time with this drug.
Get a proper taper sorted and stick to it, eat well, sleep if you can and confide in those close to you as you will need help for sure.
I hope it settles for you and just remember you WILL live its not real and its all a result of the drug.
Doctors have known how dangerous this shit is for over TWENTY years...they are so stupid. Yes its lifesaver for some...but only if your about to die from a fit or seizure.
Hang in there @J.Hartog better days are coming and that may include reduced T

 

[Lane]

I need relief somehow, but there is nothing out there.

If you're talking about looking to conventional medicine for relief, then you're probably correct about there being nothing out there for you. If you venture beyond conventional medicine however, there's actually quite a lot to choose from. For example, this 10-MIN video on Ayurvedic oil enemas might just be something that could help. Many people would never consider this approach, but seems like the most natural thing in the world to others (like myself).

All the Best!​

 

[J.Hartog]

First of all thank you everyone for pitching in !!

@glynis Holding that long is not an option, holding now already but I was in tolerance withdrawal when I was at 5mg. My T was ok but I was still in terror. Now at 2mgs I was doing far better mentally except for the T spike now. I am currently holding tho and taking it very slow but I need off this stuff thats for sure.

@Jiri I dont have a specific schedule, I was cutting 0.25 a week or 2 weeks depending how I did until now. I am taking it slower now. Going to a psychiatric hospital is also no option, I did that last time and they also gave me an ssri which I did not tolerate and had to taper down quickly. On top of that they gave me 50mgs of seroquel XR which I am still taking. Basically I was polydrugged right away and none of it helped. Well the seroquel puts me down at night which does help kind of but who knows what kind of shit I have to go through when I have to taper that. There is a whole other set of horror stories on that stuff but I am not even focussing on that. But my trust in psychiatry is zero.

And I have been perscribed ativan since 2013 since tinnitus but only took it occasionally, I always knew there was danger in addiction and always quit. But since December 2017 until now I am on it, except the CT which lasted only like a week maybe.

@Kelvin Its a freaking discrace they are so careless with this poison. If I ever knew this could happen. And I cant believe they perscribe it long term to people with T as it clearly worsens it.

@Lane Thank you I will check that out.

Everyone thanks it helps not feeling alone here , I will keep u updated. I am going to call my Pdoc tomorrow even tho I know she can't do that much for me. They can give pills but no more pills for me, I'd rather die then take another pill. Unless it can drastically reduce my T which we know is not possible atm, anyway now in withdrawal I don't even take any supplements because I am hyper sensitive.

Let this be a warning to anyone reading this about benzo's, I have used them very smart and very careful and never abused them except for a CT after one months use and I ended up in hell. They should ONLY be used for extreme emergencies.

 

[J.Hartog]

The only problem is louder T, all the other withdrawal problems I can deal with don't get me wrong they have been tough specially when I was at 5mgs and I was still bouncing off the walls from anxiety but that stabalized. If it was not for the T I would have a fairly easy taper.

There is just no way to tell if it will go back down, and I have at least a 4-5 month taper for the last 2 mgs ativan and after that I need to heal so I have to prepare for a long or permanent spike thats what's bothering me so so much.

Oh I so wish for a treatment or something for tinnitus, I am just so sick of it. It took me a lot to habituate, many tears, much time lost and now I am back at square one + tapering off this poison.

 

[glynis]

@J.Hartog,
Good luck with your tapering and we are always here to support you.
I myself am coming down off a AD for sleep and it all started a long time ago being put on a AD by the rheumatology department for Ostio and Rheumatoid arthritis and when I tapered off it after 12 years I had sever insomnia and depression as my brain had been use to 100mg for so long and tinnitus went nuts with missfiring signals but I have Menieres.
I have been on 50mg of another one for sleep since.
I have been doing a long taper and now down to 5mg and can sleep good most nights and feel less sleepy in the day without it.
It's my Birthday next Saturday and going away for the week end so will drop the last 5mg Sunday night...
You will be fine just focus on your end goal.
love glynis x

 

[fishbone]

I am going through a very hard benzo withdrawal and I am going through pure hell, I used Ativan when needed now and then. Back in December I had a rough month and used 1mg daily, after that month I felt better and just quit again like I always did. Never knew about tapering and my docs never warned me about the dangers.

My tinnitus spiked and also I had extreme anxiety and I didn't know it was the cold turkey of 1 month of benzo's.
My doctor miss diagnosed the situation and they just thought I was purely anxious I ended up on 5mgs of Ativan daily. My tinnitus was not acting up anymore and I stabilized and started tapering now in taper my tinnitus is ramping up like crazy. Specially when waking and in the middle of the night. Also during the day it is louder.

I am terrified this is the new volume, I isolate myself, cry, think about dying and am at the end of my wits.

Benzo withdrawal is brutal enough without tinnitus, it gives me severe depression, anxiety, head pressure, weight loss, at the moment I am on 2mgs of Ativan and the first 3mgs taper I was doing ok, I tapered the first 3 mgs fairly fast in about 3 months, no spikes in my tinnitus. Just some rough patches here and there mentally. Now with the louder tinnitus I feel like I am losing the battle. It is too much to deal with and I am living like a ghost. I need help but I don't know where to turn.

On benzobuddies there are people who got tinnitus from just using benzo's, some heal some don't so my thought is I already had tinnitus so I just will end up with worse tinnitus. I am so angry at my doctors and myself for taking this rat poison. For the moment my life is destroyed and I hope I will make it. If I knew this spike was temporary maybe I would be more calm but there is no way to know.

I need relief somehow, but there is nothing out there. Doctors are clueless about benzo's and I hate them, my family want's to help but they are clueless. I feel like I am on a different planet. What can I do?

I was on a high amount of benzos myself and can totally understand how you are feeling. When people cold turkey off the benzos it wreaks havoc on the mind and body. You say that you were put on 5mgs of ativan and then began doing a super quick taper. Tapers need to be slower and not rushed up. Your body and mind is addicted to these pills/substance and a quick taper really does no good. Due to the benzos my tinnitus did get louder and i really dont know if the volume ever got much lower and better. Your situation might be better. If you are still tapering I suggest that you take it slower and let the body/mind adjust to the decrease of the benzos.

It is a pure nightmare being on benzos and tapering. Just stick it out and find that courage to taper and get off the benzos.

Good luck!

 

[Lane]

@J.Hartog,

I don't know if you would have the resources to consider purchasing a home HBOT unit, but I made a couple of posts on how HBOT therapy brought the greatest amount of calm and relaxation into my body than anything else I'd tried. Here's a LINK in case you'd want to check it out. -- Best!!

 

[Jiri]

@J.Hartog We're almost in the same boat, then. Last year I had Valium with me back in the U.K., and I also took it very occasionally. December 2017, when I ended up in a psychiatric hosp. after my tinnitus onset I was taking 6 mg of Clonazepam then my new psychiatrist cut me down to 3.5 mg of clonazepam the next month and in March 2018 another big cut to 2 mg/day. As of now I'm taking 1.25 mg of that benzo. I can totally understand your distrust in psychiatrists - same here. Now I'm doing direct taper and trying to come off slowly by - 0.25 mg every 14 days, but I'm trying even slower titration method. One day I take 0.25 mg of Rivotril in the morning and the next day I take again 0.5 mg. Repeat.

As for poly drugging, my other drugs included an antidepressant Brintellix/Trintellix (I stopped taking it about 4 weeks ago) and this antiepileptic drug known as Pregabalin/Lyrica. I'm still taking Pregabalin (from 300 mg/a day I'm now down to 150 mg/a day) and will try to wean myself off of it when I no longer will be dependent on Clonazepam.

Sometimes (just like now) my tinnitus ramps up for no reason and I think it's bec of the benzo. I'm also experiencing an emotional roller coaster, isolated but trying to hold out hope. Obviously, my biggest concern is how these drugs are affecting my tinnitus. Especially in the long run. When you're in a such critical state as you described, you for real need to act to offset a potential loss - your health and worsening of tinnitus. Again, act quickly and as Alex99 correctly pointed out, you've got to look for an experienced psychiatrist who is knowledgeable about benzos. It is what I am trying to do at the moment as well. I'm trying to get off of all this poison and I'm under no medical supervision myself.

However, I was lucky enough to find a good and caring clinical pharmacist who helps me with my w/d plan. Though, she still insists I need to find either a psychiatrist or neurologist under whose supervision I'd put myself. Tough.

As for the nuthouse. Yeah, I understand. It is our very last option (hedging one's bets). My biggest concern is, if they see us in this condition of misery we're back on all of those drugs and high doses in an instant OR we migh be lucky enough to run into a pro psychiatrist who will help us to get through this bs of psych. drugs w/d. What else is there to do?

 

[dayma]

I take BENZOs off and on and it never bothers me. It all depends on the person. Addiction is genetics and your prescriber should have asked about addiction in you and your parents to determine if these are appropriate drugs.

You may want to consider some of the inpatient facilities out there that specialize in psychiatric care and also withdrawal. We have a few great facilities near us that have BENZO withdrawal programs that I know work really well.

*...and I dislike the term "nuthouse". These facilities are not early 20th century facilitates that people like to equate them to.

My 2 cents.

 

[J.Hartog]

I take BENZOs off and on and it never bothers me. It all depends on the person. Addiction is genetics and your prescriber should have asked about addiction in you and your parents to determine if these are appropriate drugs.

You may want to consider some of the inpatient facilities out there that specialize in psychiatric care and also withdrawal. We have a few great facilities near us that have BENZO withdrawal programs that I know work really well.

*...and I dislike the term "nuthouse". These facilities are not early 20th century facilitates that people like to equate them to.

My 2 cents.

I have used ativan off and on too, I was very very carefull. I never abused them and never was addicted. The problems came when I took them 1 months 1 pill per day(as perscribed) and just quit again. My brain was totally messed up after that. I always said the same thing you said about benzo's and was never against them but before you even know it you are in big trouble and you need to start a taper or you will go insane. And you are FORCED to use them daily. Its not comparable with regular addiction. If I could I would flush them through the toilet today and never look back but unlike other drugs you can't do that. And I am not the only one, there are numerous cases like me which I never knew of, before it happened to me that used them short term, as perscribed by a dokter and are messed up for years. So I dislike the term addiction!

So my statement stays, be warned

 

[J.Hartog]

Btw I called my Pdoc today and the quickest we can meet is next week. I did have a talk with a therapist today and although it is something. They do not know much about tinnitus and benzo withdrawal so it was more a talk about my state of mind and what I do to keep myself sane. So it is something but it always kind of feels like a waste of time. But at least I left the house and talked to someone.

 

[Jiri]

Hi @J.Hartog just thought I'd check up on you to see if you're doing any better?

 

[J.Hartog]

@Jiri Well its up and down, thanks for asking bro. The weather is nice so it keeps me distracted a little bit more. I also went from 2mgs to 1.875 without much trouble.

Its a long process and you really have to accept a lot of bad stuff for a long time. Thats what I am trying at the moment just accepting and not fighting it. My T is still louder but I found a way to just let it go a bit more. There is not much else I can do. Yesterday there was a guy complaining about his leg he had some injury and that it takes 6 weeks before he can walk normal and that its so hard. Im already 6 months in this hell hole and should be happy if I get out normal after 1 year. I have T for 5 years already, some people really dont know what suffering is.

After this never ever a psych med for me.

Thanks again!

 

[Jiri]

@J.Hartog I just know what you mean. When it's a broken bone or rupture that's perfectly fixable most of the time. Once it's brain damage.. yeah. I am also benzo w/ding. Trying to do it real slow, hoping I survive all this and be able to return back to living a normal life. Are you water titrating? Wishing you the best of luck, bro. We'll both need it.

 

[J.Hartog]

No Im dry cutting.. @Jiri

 

[J.Hartog]

Update, today went down to 1.750 no choice but to keep going now I will keep cutting 0.125 every week till I hit a wall. T is still def not liking this taper... But mentally im doing ok. I am outside a lot with the nice weather here and somehow doing stuff makes you forget your T and problems. I started going to the gym again which maybe also helps...

Maybe I need to stay in a sunny climate till my withdrawal is over... But i'm glad Im coping better again.

 

[Lane]

I will keep cutting 0.125 every week till I hit a wall.

Hi @J.Hartog,

That sounds like a reasonable taper schedule. Having gone through a protracted withdrawal myself, I would encourage you to be flexible with it (I hope this is what you were inferring). Some increments are easier/harder than others. So if things become too stressful at times, it may be a sign to slow down somewhat until your system can catch up a bit.

Also, I was wondering if you've experimented with CBD oil. I wish I had known how effectively CBD oil can calm my system when I went through my taper. Though I've only been experimenting with it for a few weeks--MY STORY HERE--and everybody reacts differently to things, I can't help but think if it could help many on this forum.

I think it's especially helpful for calming and harmonizing overly stressed out nervous systems. Some report reductions in t as well. I almost consider that a side benefit however, in comparison to how well it tamps down the "intensity" of the t. -- Best!​

 

[Jiri]

But mentally im doing ok. I am outside a lot with the nice weather here and somehow doing stuff makes you forget your T and problems. I started going to the gym again which maybe also helps...

That's great to hear that, man. It really is. We're all glad you're doing better.

 

[J.Hartog]

@Lane I have tried CBD, could not notice that much difference. I also smoke some bud here and there but lately I don't have much anxiety. Only in the mornings....

The benzo's do make me pretty depressed, and in the beginning of my taper I had very bad anxiety. Luckily that is gone for now.

 

[JasonP]

Update, today went down to 1.750 no choice but to keep going now I will keep cutting 0.125 every week till I hit a wall. T is still def not liking this taper... But mentally im doing ok. I am outside a lot with the nice weather here and somehow doing stuff makes you forget your T and problems. I started going to the gym again which maybe also helps...

Maybe I need to stay in a sunny climate till my withdrawal is over... But i'm glad Im coping better again.

I remember reading a while back that benzo withdrawal can cause a glutamate storm. I wonder if something that lowers glutamate like Riluzole can help. I actually had some before. It seemed to lower the benzo induced static tinnitus but not the tinnitus I had before benzos (although I only took it for several days). It also was calming when I took it. The only thing is that I had mostly got off Klonopin for months with a very small occasional use before trying it. Maybe you can ask a well educated doctor about it to see if it would help. I'm not a doctor so I can't really say that it would help and also I don't know the long term effects of the medicine either. I hope you feel better soon.

 

[J.Hartog]

I am not doing well at all again for the last days... T was very loud again, today it is bit lower but overall louder than baseline and it just scares me, this whole benzo withdrawal is taking everything I got in me. I am housebound again and if I am not I am very depressed seeing people lead normal lives. I am trying so hard but I have been in this hell since december and it is just taking so long.

I feel terrified that I will be messed up forever or for years. The louder T feels like I am walking around with a ticking timebomb in my head and there is no help out there it seems. Also this news of Danny passing makes me sad and scared. I just don't know anymore, I am talking with a therapist later today hope it helps.

I am praying every minute for relief specially for my T and I am not even religious.
Maybe I have been tapering wrong I have tapered 3.5mgs of ativan in 4 months coming from 5mgs. I have not gone faster than the Ashton manual but I read a lot about people recommending slower tapers. Its all so much, I am holding for the moment. I just don't know where to go with this....

 

[Mystery Reader]

@J.Hartog

Just read your thread and wondered how you are doing now. I see the last post on this was over a month ago, so hope things have been improving for you.

Mystery Reader

 

[J.Hartog]

Hi I'm down to 1.1 mg of ativan, so making progress on that cutting 0,1 a week. T baseline is up still unfortunately, some days are like it used to be but some days are really loud. Benzo tapering is no joke, its the hardest thing I had to endure in my life, specially because of the length of time you feel like shit. I have been in this shitstorm since december so it takes time and a whole lot of patience and acceptance. I am really not happy about it. But I have no choice. I hope I can keep going at this rate and I will be done in 11 weeks.

Thanks for asking.

 

[Star64]

@J.Hartog Hi, I am also experiencing louder tinnitus from withdrawal from clonezapam having been switched to valium now for the taper. infact my tinnitus is deafening atm, how are you doing now did your tinnitus improve

 

[Chinmoku]

As for poly drugging, my other drugs included an antidepressant Brintellix/Trintellix (I stopped taking it about 4 weeks ago) and this antiepileptic drug known as Pregabalin/Lyrica. I'm still taking Pregabalin (from 300 mg/a day I'm now down to 150 mg/a day) and will try to wean myself off of it when I no longer will be dependent on Clonazepam.

@Jiri, how is your taper going? I'm tapering pregabalin and my tinnitus gets louder and louder. I feel horrible. I'm down to 50mg but holding for a couple of weeks at least. I barely manage it.

@J.Hartog I hope your situation has improved

 

[Chinmoku]

@Jiri, how is your taper going? I'm tapering pregabalin and my tinnitus gets louder and louder. I feel horrible. I'm down to 50mg but holding for a couple of weeks at least. I barely manage it.

@J.Hartog I hope your situation has improved

@Jiri sorry I just read in another post that you completed the pregabalin taper at the end of last year. Has your tinnitus improved after the taper?