BrOKeN but on the Mend: Ruled Out Contributing Factors Besides Noise Exposure

[BrOKeN_1]

I suppose it is time to quit lurking and introduce myself proper. I'm male, 41. From the United States. Married. With 6 children. Yes you read that correctly, 6. Also my grammar and punctuation are atrocious so feel free to fill in the blanks.

My onset was on or around the 25th of October, 2020. At this point I've ruled out nearly every possible contributing factor besides noise induced. So yea... Nothing obvious comes to mind and I've quit searching.

I have made an extraordinary amount of mistakes and rash decisions in the last month and a half. Possibly my biggest was convincing myself to buy SynapseXT. I really did know better but in desperation I made the purchase. I had joined Tinnitus Talk about a week before and mentioned I was taking the supplement. And I was justifiably reprimanded by one of our members.

I have not dealt with this well at all. Anxiety and depression have become commonplace. Spending time doing the things I used to love has become difficult if not impossible. I've managed to stay working but have had to change my schedule significantly to manage sleeping. (Annoying).

As crappy as this condition is. It helps to know there are people who truly understand. Even if we think our condition is by far the worst. BTW MINE IS! Lol JK. I know we all just want our lives back. Or to become comfortable with this new life we've been handed. Whether it is directly our fault or unintentionally induced. We are in this together.

 

[Drachen]

Welcome, stranger!

I hate to say that I still empathize with much of what you've said here, and this just ends up being the trend for so many people at the start. It's got to be even rougher for you considering the fact you not only have a sizable family but also work as a coal mining. Like, wow! I really hope you're able to get through that, as I imagine there's a great deal of loud noise involved there.

I truly do hope and continue praying that everyone here will find their must needed and deserved respite. I do try to be hopeful for the future, but man, it gets hard sometimes...

 

[billie48]

Welcome to the forum. Noise induced tinnitus usually can lead to reactive tinnitus or hyperacusis. Do you have that symptom of finding out normal noises all seem too loud? You are at the new phase of tinnitus and this period is the most difficult time with much suffering. Hang in there to wait out the storm. Try masking it if the ringing bothers you. Also try natural supplements like lemon balm, chamomile tea etc to calm the nerves. You have a big family to shoulder. My empathy. Take care. God bless.

 

[Peter61]

Welcome, stranger!

I hate to say that I still empathize with much of what you've said here, and this just ends up being the trend for so many people at the start. It's got to be even rougher for you considering the fact you not only have a sizable family but also work as a coal mining. Like, wow! I really hope you're able to get through that, as I imagine there's a great deal of loud noise involved there.

I truly do hope and continue praying that everyone here will find their must needed and deserved respite. I do try to be hopeful for the future, but man, it gets hard sometimes...

I find it quite frustrating that scientists are obviously able to develop a COVID-19 vaccine in less than 12 months, but that the development of a tinnitus cure takes such a long time. I mean, I've had tinnitus since 2012, 9 years now, and during those 9 years I've been reading over and over again that a cure "is on its way". BS... There was no cure, and there still is no cure, after all these years. Why are they saying this to us? Are they taking us for a bunch of fools that you can make believe anything? It's untruthful and disrespectful to raise false hope. Again, a COVID-19 vaccine can be made in record time, but people with tinnitus have to wait decades. That's not o.k. COVID-19 has all the priority, tinnitus has none. That's really bad.

 

[BrOKeN_1]

An unfortunate anniversary.

I guess it's officially been over a year since I started experiencing nonstop tinnitus. Not really something to celebrate... but it is what it is. What a ride it's been. All the emotions hitting hard these first few months and then a slow trickle of acceptance day after day. And that's what habitation has become for me.

One year later... no change in tone. No quite moments. Just a constant Eeeeee... Most days I can almost completely ignore it. Other days (especially quiet days) the ring can slowly consume all my attention. Thankfully there is no fear attached anymore. Just annoyance. I've played the scramble for answers game dozens of times and it always ends with the same conclusion. Acceptance... and patience.

As always I hold out hope that I... that WE will one day soon find real tangible relief and honest to God silence.

Just wanted to hop on briefly and thank this community for its support and understanding. Many of us use this site as a place to unload baggage that the majority of people in our lives cannot understand. And even if it gets annoying at at times. I hope at some point I've lifted a spirit and gave someone hope. Even a minuscule amount.

Life with tinnitus can suck at times but it's better then the alternative. Better days ahead. Ciao.

 

[BrOKeN_1]

I don't really know what I'm looking for here. Advice maybe. Encouragement. Or just people who understand. I'm about to close out my 2nd year having tinnitus and things are not great. 4 months ago I thought I was nearly habituated. And then I spiked. Like for real.

It's funny because I have this weird habit of keeping a journal. I've taken to calling it my crisis diary because it really only gets written in when I'm struggling. The only benefit I see to this is it shows how far I've come and when I'm doing good there will be days or even weeks with no entries.

There is even a September 7, 2021 to January 11, 2022 gap that I'm rather proud of. Of course I still had tinnitus, it just didn't seem to merit concern during those months I suppose. Like most everyone here, early onset in late 2020 was full of anxiety/depression and uncharacteristic ideation. It took about 6 months to eventually get my head around it. At some point I even had the nerve to post a success story. Which even now I don't regret although it was evidently premature. I did feel at that time I was somewhat comfortably habituated.

And then Spring of 2022 happened. From what I remember early into May my perception or the actual volume to my tinnitus... doubled? I'm not completely sold on the idea of a new permanent baseline but it does seem to be my current situation. Everything began to unravel quickly at that point. I did have some extra stress at that time. Planning a trip and having to get the COVID-19 vaccine. Which is understandably worrisome to our community.

By early June I was a wreck again... sleep was faltering and I was becoming more and more obsessed with this increase. Did I mention I was trying to taper off ADs? Yea I resumed that prescription immediately. Full Disclosure: I never stopped using headphones and this may factor into my heightened perception. Although my audiologist who also has tinnitus swears they will not increase the volume of tinnitus if used at low volume. This is controversial I suppose.

Well regardless I quit using headphones almost immediately after the spike. Hoping of course that would help in some way. Doesn't seem like it so far.

So that brings me to today... sleep is still pretty rough. Never more then 4 consecutive hours and rarely more the 5 or 6 hours with that constantly in and out struggle. Very little can or will mask this sound. And I feel like I'm teetering on the edge of crazy and just barely ok.

Anyways, if you read all that you must be really bored. I'm just trying to purge some thoughts. Don't really know where to go from here. Just keep swimming I suppose. Best of luck friends.

 

[SamRosemary]

I think your storyline shows promise to healing/habituation. At least, that's how I look at mine. If you're able to be okay sometimes and feel like you're habituating sometimes, I really feel there's a solid chance it will happen and stick. I think this way because I'm on a rollercoaster too. I'm still in the acute phase, but have had a week or two where it was tolerable and even twice where I felt I was possibly going to be able to habituate sometime. To me that means we just need more time.

Seems like sleep seems to be the big issue for you. Do you find anything helps with that? Maybe try some methods you haven't yet.

Sorry about the spike and the last few months... I hope it settles for you and I really think you'll be able to get back to that period of near habituation and that it'll stick!

 

[Joe Cuber]

Hey @BrOKeN_1, what was your sleep routine like before it unravelled, and what's it like now. Any small steps you can take to make it more like it was before?

 

[BrOKeN_1]

I really think you'll be able to get back to that period of near habituation and that it'll stick!

Thank You. I sure hope so.

 

[BrOKeN_1]

Hey @BrOKeN_1, what was your sleep routine like before it unravelled, and what's it like now. Any small steps you can take to make it more like it was before?

I was doing pretty good. I was even able to go back to graveyard shift because I could sleep during day pretty easy. I'm just having a hard time coming to terms with possibly making my situation worse. I'm now wondering if constant masking was part of the problem. Until my spike it had become a lot easier to mask in general. I haven't completely lost my ability to sleep yet which is good. 4 hours isn't good but it's better than absolutely none. I think it's just going to take time to re-habituate to a somewhat comfortable level.

Thank you for asking

 

[Joe Cuber]

I hope you're able to get good sleep again soon. It's that whole downward spiral. Maybe by getting solid rest, your spike will subside. Earlier this week, I was getting poor sleep and my tinnitus had an opinion about that.

 

[10Kcd]

I'm just having a hard time coming to terms with possibly making my situation worse. I'm now wondering if constant masking was part of the problem.

I'm always wanting to use headphones again, and can really relate to worrying about them making things worse. I also wonder about the risks of masking, at least with reactive tinnitus - I tried it but stopped because it was just making my tinnitus spike.

Anyway, as a relative newbie, I appreciate seeing your progression over the past couple of years, and hope that things improve again for you!