Can I Become a Surgeon Even If I Have Tinnitus?

[GregCA]

Oh my head hurts from this brick wall. I must say that a lot of these posts when I look back at them are at best patronising and at worst unkind and hurtful. I think I better refrain from giving the response that is running around in my head right now.
@GregCA where are you when I need you? I much prefer our more constructive critiques of each other!

I'm here @brownbear and I am sympathetic as I've gone down the same steps before you.

I really did not expect that my optimistic post at the start of this thread would result in such vitriol.

No good deed should go unpunished, my friend.

I hate getting into these arguments but I have to defend myself, mainly because I don't want other to people to think that some of the BS said on this site is the gospel truth.

Try to relax. It's only internet BS. People tend to see through it. Check this out:

 

[brownbear]

Thanks @GregCA. That cheered me up. I know I shouldn't get so wound up. I guess I am still more fragile than I think I am at the moment. How are you doing? Habituated?!!!!

I was thinking about what you said about 1+2=3. I think I was more trying to say that I encourage you to try not to think what 1+2= at all, at least for a period of time. I'm actually hoping that when I am a bit more habituated I might be able to experiment a bit with my T to see if anything helps, hopefully without it dragging me into a spiral of despair like it did the first time. This could be a risky strategy for me but I like the idea of my trying to solve my T without caring whether it works or not, if that makes sense!

 

[DebInAustralia]

Well just read the title.
IS this possible? Can I become a surgeon, I know they use drills and all kind of tools.

Staying on topic, yes. You can become a surgeon. If loud sounds are bothering you, you can always wear ear protection.

Which stream of surgery are you interested in pursuing?

 

[DebInAustralia]

@brownbear

On this rare occasion I will respond to a topic when I have previously said I will not be commenting further.
Please understand and believe when I say that I'm pleased that you have returned to work and find your tinnitus easier to cope with. Again, I genuinely mean that. I believe your tinnitus was indeed debilitating from the outset and have enough experience to know when someone has been there. Unfortunately, the type of severe debilitating tinnitus that I'm talking about isn't what you have. Please read my two last posts again. In short, when someone has severe debilitating tinnitus and this is sustained. In most cases they will be unable to work due to the severity of the condition and will have to be receiving long term treatment in the manner I've mentioned in my last two posts. This is what I am referring to which is completely different to what you have.

I was retired on medical grounds do to my severe tinnitus. Indeed, I have habituated. As I've already mentioned my tinnitus is variable in intensity. There are many people with this type of tinnitus variable severe tinnitus and those that have it constantly. I take clonazepam to help cope with this condition as many people do when it is severe and debilitating. Fortunately, you haven't been affected in this way long term but you did have it for a period of time.

I wish you well and hope this matter will now be put to rest.
Michael

Remember this is a thread about whether this OP should pursue his dream of becoming a surgeon.

 

[Michael Leigh]

Remember this is a thread about whether this OP should pursue his dream of becoming a surgeon.

Yes, thank you for reminding me and I'm fully aware.....

 

[Samantha R]

@Apocalypse77
Yes you should! You must have a lot to offer and be very smart to have this opportunity, don't waste it!

@brownbear I had no idea you tried to take your own life. I am so glad you are still here. I have goosebumps after reading what you wrote.

As for how tinnitus affects us daily, well that's very individual. We all are experiencing different sounds (and perhaps sensations), and our reactions are all different. What bothers one person, many not bother another.
Tinnitus is often downplayed in its severity, probably a lot by the medical community. I do understand the passion behind wanting to make people aware that it can be debilitating in such a way that someone might take their own life at worst, or lose their ability to function at best. It's an insult to tell someone they'll just have to 'learn to live with it' when they are most likely suicidal.

However, I also think that we as a community 'fight' too much, let's all back each other and be in this together.

 

[Lorac]

Well just read the title.
IS this possible? Can I become a surgeon, I know they use drills and all kind of tools.

Are you currently working on a medical degree? What type of surgeries do you hope to perform?

 

[brownbear]

Thanks @Samantha R . I'm doing really well now but at the time I was totally and utterly unhinged, not thinking rationally, derealised and desperate. Not so now which is wonderful. When I look back I don't recognise myself. I have blocked it all out mostly.

 

[GregCA]

Thanks @GregCA. That cheered me up. I know I shouldn't get so wound up. I guess I am still more fragile than I think I am at the moment.

Whenever I see some people lash out in here, I remember that their T could easily contribute to their having little patience with others, and trigger unwanted behaviors. I know I've been a victim of that in the past.

How are you doing? Habituated?!!!!

I don't think I can answer the question directly because "habituation" probably means different things to different people.

I'd say I am habituated in the dictionary sense ("become accustomed or used to something"), which means there is no element of surprise with my T, even when I wake up from sleep. What that means is that I don't have much anxiety about it anymore, unless I start going down a negative thought pattern that looks into the future. I try to avoid those thoughts, and I'm mostly successful about it, with sporadic exceptions.

I'm not habituated in the other sense that is used by many in here, which equates to not being aware of T and/or it not bothering the person anymore (I've read some people saying that "the brain just filters it out" or "you're not conscious about it anymore" or "you have to look for it to find it"). I am not in that state at all: my T bothers me all the time, impedes cognitive processes, and prevents enjoyment of activities. That's 24x7 with no variations (I don't have cycles of "silent, mild, severe" that would give me a breather every once in a while - I'm sure I'm not the only one like that).
I generally refrain from expressing this - especially in these forums - as it triggers a torrent of patient-blaming statements claiming that it's because of my lack of positive thinking that I don't reach Tinnitus Nirvana, or perhaps I'm not open minded enough, or some other reason - but clearly I'm at fault. So now I know better.

I'm actually hoping that when I am a bit more habituated I might be able to experiment a bit with my T to see if anything helps, hopefully without it dragging me into a spiral of despair like it did the first time. This could be a risky strategy for me but I like the idea of my trying to solve my T without caring whether it works or not, if that makes sense!

I think it makes sense. When you get to that point, I'd love to hear about your experiments and results. You have an advantage over most in that you are trained and understand the human body better than the rest of us plebeians, so you can devise experiments that make much more sense. You are also better equipped to interpret and analyze the results.
Good luck!

 

[brownbear]

Hi @GregCA. Agree with you about how do you define habituation. Personally I feel habituated when my T is not bothering me at all and I feel totally at ease, even though I am still aware of it most of the time. Some days are still better than others. Do you ever get any brief moments of not noticing it or feeling at ease with it? If so, is there anything predictable about those times?

Have you tried just going back to basics with it and picking up a long lost hobby etc (I expect you have so don't mean to sound patronizing!). That kind of thing has helped me although it was a real struggle to start doing anything initially. I had some success with quite fast paced activities like table tennis, computer games and surfing which require you to be very engaged mentally.

I also do a meditation where I spend a long time listening to all sounds around me, including the T, in great detail, examining in my mind the sounds (near and far) as much as possible. Then after say 20 minutes I say out loud 'now let go of sounds' and observe something else eg my breathing. It doesn't work straight away but after some practice this has helped me.

I'm sorry you feel blamed at times for lack of positivity. I don't think positivity has much to do with it sometimes. You can probably tell that I try to be a positive as possible, but it is not that which helps me to feel at ease. The best days I have are when I am being neither positive or negative, I'm just not engaged with the T AT ALL.

Also anecdotally from someone who sees lots of distressed T patients, they feel that those with a very variable degree of T (especially when it disappears completely for a period) find it very hard to cope with the fluctuating signal. Obviously this will vary from person to person but I wonder if you could try to turn the persistent nature of your T into a positive somehow.

Good luck from one plebeian to another.

 

[GregCA]

Hello @brownbear !

Hi @GregCA. Agree with you about how do you define habituation. Personally I feel habituated when my T is not bothering me at all and I feel totally at ease, even though I am still aware of it most of the time. Some days are still better than others. Do you ever get any brief moments of not noticing it or feeling at ease with it? If so, is there anything predictable about those times?

Yes every once in a while I have moments when T takes the back seat. It's generally for a very short period of time - perhaps seconds. Not sure about predictors, but what seems to help is to be outside (natural sound enrichment) and focused on something that requires brain attention to "solve".

Have you tried just going back to basics with it and picking up a long lost hobby etc (I expect you have so don't mean to sound patronizing!). That kind of thing has helped me although it was a real struggle to start doing anything initially. I had some success with quite fast paced activities like table tennis, computer games and surfing which require you to be very engaged mentally.

My best escape currently is to play my drums. They're electronic drums so I can adjust the volume to be reasonable, and when I play there are times when the T feels like it's behind everything else and not intrusive.
I also (like you) play video games, as they have similar sound enrichment and attention grabbing properties.

I also do a meditation where I spend a long time listening to all sounds around me, including the T, in great detail, examining in my mind the sounds (near and far) as much as possible. Then after say 20 minutes I say out loud 'now let go of sounds' and observe something else eg my breathing. It doesn't work straight away but after some practice this has helped me.

Great! In a similar vein (albeit different tool) I use CBT to push back thoughts that tend to stem from my degenerative disease (otosclerosis) that has been so aggressive in attacking my cochlea in the past. That helps me keep a lid on anxiety most of the time.

I'm sorry you feel blamed at times for lack of positivity. I don't think positivity has much to do with it sometimes. You can probably tell that I try to be a positive as possible, but it is not that which helps me to feel at ease. The best days I have are when I am being neither positive or negative, I'm just not engaged with the T AT ALL.

Indifference is a good goal indeed. I don't engage with my T in the sense of voluntarily giving it attention. It's because it is perceived by my body as a stimulus equivalent to pain that I get my sensory system ring all kinds of alarms. I have multiple T sounds: some of them are just that - sounds - but others are piercing to the point that if I didn't know it was generated internally I'd cover my ears with my hands to protect against this aggression.

I sometimes try to explain it with a parallel to vision. If your vision was failing for whatever reason and in your field of vision you had a full moon showing 24x7 it'd be annoying. We've all looked at a full moon: it's not harmful but if it were to "be there 24x7" it could certainly be annoying and generate some anxiety. If instead of the moon you had a sun 24x7 in your field of view, it'd be more than annoying - it'd be painful, and it'd be pulling all kinds of hard wired alarms in your body.

I do know that there are some statements made by doctors claiming that the sound itself and its intensity don't matter. I don't agree with that obviously, especially because I have multiple kinds of sounds so I have first hand experience with both use cases.

Also anecdotally from someone who sees lots of distressed T patients, they feel that those with a very variable degree of T (especially when it disappears completely for a period) find it very hard to cope with the fluctuating signal. Obviously this will vary from person to person but I wonder if you could try to turn the persistent nature of your T into a positive somehow.

Here's how I spin it positively: "My T is constant, so it's not getting any worse!"
It's interesting to know that people with fluctuations are negatively affected by them - it's a bit counterintuitive to me, as I'd see it as a positive if I had a day in the week where my T was milder, but of course I'm not in their shoes so I don't understand well what's affecting them - perhaps the unknown.

 

[brownbear]

I think you should give yourself credit for how far you've come with this @GregCA. It's also lucky that you don't have what I consider to be severe debilitating tinnitus

 

[PaulBe]

If the tools are a worry, don't do orthopaedics. Ortho is basically carpentry shop.

 

[GregCA]

I think you should give yourself credit for how far you've come with this @GregCA. It's also lucky that you don't have what I consider to be severe debilitating tinnitus

It's an exclusive club and I'm not worthy.