Can't Take Much More — At My Wits' End

[undecided]

I remember that my sleep was also a mess for some time in the first 4-5 months.
Woke up in the middle of the night, saw my wife sleeping like a baby (that bitch ) and I would just go to the other room or watch tv... Now that I think about it, the insomnia helped me watch almost all the world cup matches last summer. Yay tinnitus

@Budgie, as everyone has mentioned, it does get better.
Freaking out is perfectly normal but you need to give it time. Calm down, try and fix your sleep.
If you feel that you cant deal with it, look into the AM-101 or the Autifony studies. Also look in the Treatments forum. There are a lot of things to try before doing anything drastic...

 

[Forever hopeful]

Oh me too but he sounds very suicidal. I am so afraid for him. I know he said he is from Scotland.

 

[Forever hopeful]

Budgie,

Please message one of us. I am in the US. Anyone on the forum from Scotland ? I think that is where Budgie is from. Budgie, You need help. Try to give the hospital another chance. We are all here for you.

 

[Aaron123]

Right, Scotland.

Budgie, there are a number of options for you: http://www.suicide-prevention.org.uk/
If you happen to be in or around Glasgow: http://www.glasgow.gov.uk/chooselife

 

[Brian Reade]

I hope Budgie is ok....

 

[Brian Reade]

Moderators: are you able to see Budgie's IP address or any other info he may have provided when he signed up? I think we need to somehow have someone check on him.
I do hope he exchanged his email address or some other contact info with someone here. His last post is a cause for concern.

 

[glynis]

Budgie ,
Please post or pm me.
Happy talk with you on the phone anytime day or night....lots of love glynis

 

[Budgie]

I am OK folks, still fighting this, I can't bring myself to self harm, it has been on my mind though , everytime I look at the wife , it would be so bad for her, I just have to hope that it goes soon.. it's when the wife leaves for work , I feel so lonely and bored, that's the struggle. Home alone all day, horrible.

 

[glynis]

Thank god your ok budgie...x.
Your not alone on here no more and welcome phone me or phone you.
Im in England .
I Work part time and at 1.3O pm till 10 pm im home alone unless go out .
It does get better I promise you,you will get your confidence back and cope better and sleep better too....lots of love glynis

 

[nills]

I am OK folks, still fighting this, I can't bring myself to self harm, it has been on my mind though , everytime I look at the wife , it would be so bad for her, I just have to hope that it goes soon.. it's when the wife leaves for work , I feel so lonely and bored, that's the struggle. Home alone all day, horrible.

is there a reason you need to be home or can you go out? if you don`t like to be home alone maybe you should find something to do ...

 

[Richard zurowski]

Budgie. Hi you need help. Please... Please... Confide in someone like the Samaritans , there's no shame in doing that they will help you get through this. They are wonderfull people who can get you through these bad times.

 

[uae96]

It's nice to see complete strangers on the forum offering all that help and support , probably more than any friend or family could offer

 

[Forever hopeful]

Budgie,

You have been on my mind all night. I have been very worried. If nothing else, take heart that all these people, strangers really, care about you and want to help. Please get to a decent medical professional. There are other opinions for medications for sleep. Maybe a more controlled dispensing of medication so it limits potential for overdose. Maybe the doctor would be agreeable to that. It might mean daily trips to the pharmacy for you but you would get just enough medication to sleep each night and the doctor will not worry about an accidental overdose. You need sleep in order to get better and fight this. You also need activities during the day to occupy you while your wife is at work and try to engage your mind in something other than T. Please take Glynis up on her offer of a phone call. I am new here but she is an amazing support to us all and she is in the UK.

We are all here for you.

Danielle

 

[Brian Reade]

Glad you're ok, Budgie.
Many good suggestions from people here.

 

[Barbara777]

Budgie, what you are going through is very normal at the beginning of t. You will get past this but it will take time. Try to find something to do during the day to keep busy. Staying home thinking of your t will only make your anxiety worse and make the ringing seem louder. I was where you are seven months ago, and I can tell you it will get easier to deal with. At night get a sound machine that has a sound you find relaxing. I use the sound of a water stream. Take some melatonin to help you sleep. Go to an audiologist and see if they can help you. There are clinical trials you might be able to get into if they are in your area...look at aut00063 or AM101. You can read about them in the research section on this forum. Also, read the success stories and you will see that it will get better for you.

 

[glynis]

Hi Budgie ,
I will pm you my number so you have it.
I dont bite and been taking calls a long time and email and texts and over 3000 messages supporting people with tinnitus on the BTA and still on their .
Just a friend who understands how your feeling....lots of love glynis

 

[jeanneguy]

Thank you

 

[glynis]

Hi Budgie,
Just wondering how you are doing......lots of love glynis

 

[Budgie]

Hello glynis,
I am delighted to say I have slept 8 hours without sleeping pills or any pills , last night. And the T has faded
It's like a miracle! Can't be leave it, I can almost not hear it this morning, my sincere thanks to you and everyone on this forum, as you know I was fighting for my life! Thats what it felt like, don't understand why it got better, so quickly! Hope for everyone on here.