Aloha folks,
How is everyone doing?
Reading back that first message now, still gives me the shudders when I think about how much tinnitus took over my life and my head for that period of time.
Really do hope that everyone is in a better place, even if just marginally than you were in December 2018.
So how have I been doing... In short much better. I've been focusing on my health more holistically and happy to say it's working.
As you can't have a tinnitusometer every day to signal how bad your tinnitus is, I use a scale which is roughly based on how many times throughout the day my tinnitus has taken my thoughts away from me.
0-3 = 1
3-6 = 2
6-9 = 3
9-12 = 4
12-15 = 5
15-20 = 6
20-30 = 7
30-50 = 8
50-100 = 9
100-200 = 10
When I wrote this before, I moved between a 5 and a 10 and I considered a 5 to be a bloody good day. There were a lot of 10s, I'd have at least an hour, more likely two on a night time, thrashing around. Or spending time throughout the day thinking how irritating it way and it would plague me for the rest of my life.
Now I operate between a 2 and a 6, I have the odd 7 if I drink a lot and smoke a lot of go to parties etc. But it's never anywhere near as bad as it used to be.
Probably the main thing that has massively improved my quality of life is that I haven't had anxiety in about 12 months. Not in any form. I think sometimes it's hard to distinguish what is actually bringing you down the most, is it the noise, is it anxiety or are you getting depression.
For me 0 anxiety has made me a much happier chap, I'm not second guessing myself and my gut (which makes very good decisions most of the time) is back.
This has also meant that I know I can do the right thing for my company again, which makes me much happier too.
So what are the changes I've made in my life to get me to this happier place, I'll share them all with you now.
Sleep
This is the number facking 1. I now sleep like a bear and get as much sleep as I can and it changes my mindset completely. Tinnitus plagued my sleep for the first 6 months and sent me into a spiral so it was the first thing I aimed to fix. For me if you can get this right, you're on the way to recovery.
I know that's an obvious thing, but here's what I've done -
Changed my routine - I have a bath every night before bed, use bath bombs from lush and use scented candles / listen to strings on Spotify.
Take a phenegan an hour before I go to bed - look it up, meant to be antihistamine but works wonderfully to get me and keep me asleep.
I have blacked out my bedroom.
Have a muji candle kicking out oils that are soothing.
Listen to audible as I'm going to sleep - this one is huge as it takes away the concentration on the noise. I listen to Sapiens every night on repeat, the guys voice is very soothing.
Moved all morning meetings. I know I'm lucky that I can do things like this, but I sometimes work until 1/2am and used to get up at 7. Now that is a no go. If I'm working until 2am I'll sleep until 10am.
Diet
I've found juicing - it's bloody great. Look up Jason Vale. Honestly transformational for my health not just my head. I now have about 10 portions of fruit and veg a day and they taste wonderful. I don't just juice full time as I eat other foods every day but some days I try intermittent fasting too, seems to also help.
Other thing here is vegetable soup, a really clean recipe to blend down veg with stock and freeze it - tastes beautiful and only goodness.
I can share the juicing / soup recipes if people want them.
Getting all these nutrients into my body allows it to heal. I'm feeling all sorts of health benefits - not just my tinnitus getting better. Trying to provide the optimum environment for my body to heal has had other effects too.
I have a protein shake every day and put turmeric in it - meant to have lots of health benefits.
Also cut out chocolate and sweets. I have protein shakes or protein bars now. That's not just for the badness but to keep me in better shape - don't know if it has an effect.
Wholesome time
This isn't a doctors remedy or a drug you can prescribe but it definitely works.
Think about all the things you do to make yourself feel grounded and warm and do them as many times as you can. I'm not much of a meditater but I will get there at some point
Love your family
Spend time with little ones
Dogs are full of joy
Swap Ibiza for Scotland
Swap clubs for spas
Read / calm Audible's
Baths
Walking (sometimes barefoot outside)
Swimming
Laugh
Be kind to others
Do things for those less fortunate
Have others to help
Apart from friends and family I've had two people that have really helped me on my tinnitus journey. Having people that are there for the sole purpose of helping your tinnitus means you have people to turn to, people to ask questions to that don't get bored and it also means that you can keep tinnitus talk away from your normal relationships
So firstly, my therapist Ellie, who joined me last December and is one of the kindest, smartest and most wonderful people on this planet. She's helped in a number of ways, talking, acupuncture, yoga lessons, massage, taking me to chiropractor.
Secondly Julian Cowan Hill - you can look him up on YouTube. He's kind of like a tinnitus yogi bear. Such a lovely chap who suffered for a long time and now helps others get better. I see him once a week in normal times and get regular body work done. I honestly couldn't recommend him enough, you can tell he doesn't do it for the money and just wants to help people with their quality of life.
Happy to make intros to either of them if you think it would help you.
Body contact
I find this calms down my nervous system and moves focus away from the noise. Any time of massage, facial, reflexology. I try to get it in as much as I can. If you have a loving partner and they learn how to give head massages - I find it's the best thing with coconut oil before I sleep and it completely shuts me down.
Julian also gives me cranial sacral - this is very relaxing and if you can afford sessions with an expert, worth every penny.
Dodging the loud music
Obvious one but I have AirPods Pro and I wear them to clubs or festivals and the noise cancelling divides everything by 5. I didn't want to stop my lifestyle completely and this allows me to still experience what I want whilst not making my T worse.
Conclusion
So I'm by no means done yet, but I think I'm through the worst of it. For anyone reading this that is in a really bad place. Please know that it gets better if you work at it - I promise you I've been there and know how shit it is and you can come through it, you just have to make a plan and stick to it.
The other thing I'd note is to track the days and how you're feeling with it. Tinnitus can spike without you really knowing why and it's so frustrating, but if you track your days, you'll see that over time it gradually goes down.
I also know that I've spent a fair bit of money transforming my lifestyle and for those of you doing this on the cheap that have to work intense jobs too, I salute you. If I was in your position, I'd sub out anything above which costs money and find friends / free resources to support. Also on the body work, you can do things yourself like face / jaw work, foot work, or buy a neck massager - they are cheap.
The future
I'm not going to stop working on it until I have got my quality of life to a place I'm totally happy with, whether that means my tinnitus at a 1/2/3 or whether it's gone completely. I will post again when there are significant developments.
I'd love to do more for the tinnitus community once I'm in a position to do so.
I've thrown an event or two in my office with tinnitus experts giving free advice to people and I plan on throwing more this year.
It's very sad that there aren't more resource available to people when at their darkest and I'd love to set up some form of free tinnitus retreat in the future. Anybody else interested in this idea, feel free to DM me as I have a few plans and people that also want to help in the future.
Signing out folks.
CEEEEEEEEEEEEEEoh
Actually more like Ceeeeoh nowadays.