Chit Chat and All That...

Sounds like a pretty trying day, Mister Muso. You have plenty of stressors, aside from tinnitus, to deal with.

Your wife and children will forgive you, tomorrow is a new day.
Thank you Emmalee. Yes it's a new day and I know the conversations I need to have with my mother's carer and doctor now. My wife gave me some helpful advice before bedtime last night.

Things often do look clearer in the morning
 
F#*k this bolloxs man, I'm feeling so lost today! My heart feels so heavy, noises loud and piercing like all through my body, everything has just got on top of me.

I had a long conversation with my partner last night and all my fears may be true. I just want to crawl up in a ball and not wake up again, don't think I've cried this much continuously for a while, think I'm all out of positivity these tears won't stop.

I'm going to take another break, not sure when I'll be back maybe a week or month?

Take it easy friends and much love to all you amazing fighters.


Hi JCB,

I am sorry that you are having a difficult time, Is everything ok. I don't mean to pry, it's none of my business and it's fine if you don't want to talk.

It's just the comment you posted seems to have hit a cord with with sounds like a situation I am all to familiar with.

I know you said you are going to take a break but if you need to chat I am here

SJ X
 
Glad you are feeling better once, teenagers can be challenging, but also lots of fun. Sounds like she loves dancing and music, does she get that talent from yourself? Enjoy these days once, they grow up so fast, and believe me they will always keep you going :)

Thank you Star, although today I'm not feeling that great. :(
You are right, this up and down, up and down way of living is hard. I understand why so many people here get so depress and angry.

Her creative side and love for art and music comes from me, yes. :) (At least that's what I like to think...haha)
She crochets, loves to sew, loves sketching with charcoal and pencils, loves jewelry making, playing the guitar (she's self taught in most of these,) and an avid reader and writer. I homeschool my girls so I give them plenty of time to explore those areas they have more interest in.

I lived in NYC until 2003. Now, I live 60 miles north of the city and don't ever want to return there. So loud.

Hope you have a good day today. :)
 
@Emma... Hahaha... I'm getting started!

52454234_10215717088293995_789607901755867136_n.jpg
 
Thank you Emmalee. Yes it's a new day and I know the conversations I need to have with my mother's carer and doctor now. My wife gave me some helpful advice before bedtime last night.

Things often do look clearer in the morning
You are most welcome, Mr. Muso. :huganimation:I hope today is better for you. Coping with the demands of aging parents, along with other stressful life situations, then tinnitus on top of all of this, is a monumental challenge.
 
Withdrawal is not helping, adds so many more layers to everything, but I will keep marching on the best I can, so I am determined to get that pumpkin puree this week.

:huganimation:The layers will begin to slowly peel away, Star.

When I was prescribed Clonazepam I did a great deal of research on the drug and it led me to the Benzobuddies forum. I visit there each day, mostly to read the Success Stories. To this day the bottle still remains unopened, even though my latest spike was as brutal as they come.

My doctor assures me that, taken only as needed, there is no risk of dependency or tolerance. He is a great doctor and completely agrees with my decision to forgo the medication for now. Perhaps knowing that I have it in the event of a future, more brutal spike is helpful to me.:dunno:
 
When I was prescribed Clonazepam I did a great deal of research on the drug and it led me to the Benzobuddies forum. I visit there each day, mostly to read the Success Stories. To this day the bottle still remains unopened, even though my latest spike was as brutal as they come.

My doctor assures me that, taken only as needed, there is no risk of dependency or tolerance. He is a great doctor and completely agrees with my decision to forgo the medication for now. Perhaps knowing that I have it in the event of a future, more brutal spike is helpful to me.:dunno:

After suffering for 7 years and not wanting to take anything, I made the decision to take clonazepam. I was in a desperate place. I take 1/2 of .5mg a day. (really a small dose) My doctor told me not to take it to sleep because that's when it really becomes addicting. I have read many good reviews and many bad ones. I am going to tapper off slowly. Ill start taking 1/4 of .5mg for about 6 months so pray for me.
 
After suffering for 7 years and not wanting to take anything, I made the decision to take clonazepam. I was in a desperate place. I take 1/2 of .5mg a day. (really a small dose) My doctor told me not to take it to sleep because that's when it really becomes addicting. I have read many good reviews and many bad ones. I am going to tapper off slowly. Ill start taking 1/4 of .5mg for about 6 months so pray for me.

Thank-you for this response, Once. This is a very important discussion to have, in my opinion, and one that I need to have, especially since the worsening of my own tinnitus. The spikes, as you are well aware of, can be disabling.

I have always done my best to not go the medication route, but this condition is a completely different situation all together. I do believe my doctor when he says that there is a safe way to address benzodiazepine use. We must keep in mind that these medications do indeed have a place in the treatment of medical situations that many find themselves experiencing.

We all have to make informed decisions for our own personal health and well being. Like you, for every horror story I have read, I have also read success stories.

Of course I will pray for you. :huganimation:
 
Thank-you for this response, Once. This is a very important discussion to have, in my opinion, and one that I need to have, especially since the worsening of my own tinnitus. The spikes, as you are well aware of, can be disabling.

I have always done my best to not go the medication route, but this condition is a completely different situation all together. I do believe my doctor when he says that there is a safe way to address benzodiazepine use. We must keep in mind that these medications do indeed have a place in the treatment of medical situations that many find themselves experiencing. We all have to make informed decisions for our own personal health and well being. Like you, for every horror story I have read, I have also read success stories.

I will add that I didn't experience any negative side effects and that I never needed/wanted to take more. I am only going to try and tapper off to see how I do without it. It did helped to calm me down and breathe again.

The other medication I tried for a short period of time and helped me was Lorazepam. I used it for about a couple of months, only when needed and I took 1/4 or 1/2 of 1mg. Never more than that. I never had negative side effects and when I tapered off, I had no problems. Again, we are all different and react/respond different to medications. The difficult part is making a decision wether to take it or not. Then, once that decision is made, live with the consequences of taking it, wether it was good or bad, and the "what if's" if you never try it.
 
We are all different and react/respond different to medications. The difficult part is making a decision wether to take it or not. Then, once that decision is made, live with the consequences of taking it, wether it was good or bad, and the "what if's" if you never try it.

I absolutely agree with this, Once.
 
:huganimation:The layers will begin to slowly peel away, Star.

When I was prescribed Clonazepam I did a great deal of research on the drug and it led me to the Benzobuddies forum. I visit there each day, mostly to read the Success Stories. To this day the bottle still remains unopened, even though my latest spike was as brutal as they come.

My doctor assures me that, taken only as needed, there is no risk of dependency or tolerance. He is a great doctor and completely agrees with my decision to forgo the medication for now. Perhaps knowing that I have it in the event of a future, more brutal spike is helpful to me.:dunno:
Enough research on the drug is something I failed to do. I never handed out this drug throughout my entire nursing career, I knew about xanax and valium but I was told clonazepam had a different action, that it was safe and I did not question this.

I speak with christy Huff, she is on twitter, she is a cardiologist who has been suffering for a over a four year period due to taking xanax which she only took for a period of five weeks, she is also on benzobuddies and has suffered from tinnitus due to benzo use.

Intermittent use is probably the safest option emmalee, save it for when you really need it.

I understand why people take them though, while they work they are great, but it is a roll of the dice who will hit tolerance and who wont, even with short term use. Lets hope they find something safer to help us all emmalee.

And I sincerely hope you tinnitus never has you opening that bottle :huganimation:
 
After suffering for 7 years and not wanting to take anything, I made the decision to take clonazepam. I was in a desperate place. I take 1/2 of .5mg a day. (really a small dose) My doctor told me not to take it to sleep because that's when it really becomes addicting. I have read many good reviews and many bad ones. I am going to tapper off slowly. Ill start taking 1/4 of .5mg for about 6 months so pray for me.
Tinnitus has many of us reaching for desperate measures once, that is why I started down the medication route.

It does not matter what reason you take a benzo for, as after you ingest it, the risk of addiction is there. Many drs fail to see this. Intermittent use is a much safer option.

If you wont to cease this drug You must taper slowly, I recommend you read the Ashton manual once, and do fortnightly small reductions and keep going down from there.

You may be lucky and be able to come off this drug easily, as many people do, looks like you have ceased a benzo previously without any problems.

Plenty of support here for you, and I will always assist you if I can once, you know where to find me :huganimation:
 
:huganimation:The layers will begin to slowly peel away, Star.

When I was prescribed Clonazepam I did a great deal of research on the drug and it led me to the Benzobuddies forum. I visit there each day, mostly to read the Success Stories. To this day the bottle still remains unopened, even though my latest spike was as brutal as they come.

My doctor assures me that, taken only as needed, there is no risk of dependency or tolerance. He is a great doctor and completely agrees with my decision to forgo the medication for now. Perhaps knowing that I have it in the event of a future, more brutal spike is helpful to me.:dunno:
Intermittent use is the safest emmalee, thank you for your kind words, you have been a great support, more than you know.

I managed to get the puree, today was a better day for me, here's hoping we all get better days, and they keep coming... :huganimation:
 
Thank you Star, although today I'm not feeling that great. :(
You are right, this up and down, up and down way of living is hard. I understand why so many people here get so depress and angry.

Her creative side and love for art and music comes from me, yes. :) (At least that's what I like to think...haha)
She crochets, loves to sew, loves sketching with charcoal and pencils, loves jewelry making, playing the guitar (she's self taught in most of these,) and an avid reader and writer. I homeschool my girls so I give them plenty of time to explore those areas they have more interest in.

I lived in NYC until 2003. Now, I live 60 miles north of the city and don't ever want to return there. So loud.

Hope you have a good day today. :)
Thanks Once, I did have a better day to day, but who knows where the roller coaster will have me tomorrow.

I take my hat off to you Once, what a remarkable thing to be able to do for your children, especially when you are dealing with a debilitating condition.

Home schooling is not very popular here, there are some people that do it but you have to jump through hoops with our government for them to sign off on it. We do have good public and private schools here in Australia, so I think that is why many are happy to use their facilities.

Your girls are very lucky they are able to explore the things they are interested in, they certainly sound like they are getting a well rounded education, that is great :)

New York City was definitely loud, so I can understand why you would not want to reside in the thick of it, but I did enjoy the city Once, I would love to spend Xmas there one year. I would love to go ice skating in Central Park, I would make sure I took out top travel insurance though, knowing my luck :nailbiting:
 
@Star64 Newer research is showing the dangers of benzos. Heart, vascular, vein, artery, cholesterol, thyroid, salvia glands and nerve damage is being determined. This is now showing up in professional case studies and that includes those with high cholesterol and pulsating tinnitus. Just one overall study, that only borders to what real complications may involve. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3203915/

ScienceDirect has many case condition studies. Doctors don't know much about drugs. They are told what to believe as they are employees of drug companies. The good is once one starts to taper, dangerous conditions rarely then develop.

Besides drugs, no vitamin or anything taken in large amounts for a period of time is safe. Most vitamins need to be taken with other vitamins. Many vitamins can't be taken with certain drugs. Even NAC that hospitals have used for years is now under review.
https://www.glutathionediseasecure.com/NAC-contraindications.html
I am familiar with the use of IV administration of NAC to counter act paracetamol overdoses as I came across it in my work, however I though it was safe to take orally for long periods. I was actually told just recently by a doctor to not take NAC continuously or at high doses... I have just started to use it since I have ceased benzos and I feel it has helped a little, but I only take 500mg a very low dose.

I plan to take it for a few more weeks, than stop and see what happens. I fully understand some vitamins should not be taken with certain drugs, and some herbs, vitamins I will not touch, especially if they target the same GABA receptors as benzos, which many do, as I am well aware I have down regulated mine :arghh:

I totally agree doctors do not know much about drugs, on my husband's side of the family, Greg, we have 2 cardiologists, 2 anesthetists, 2 nephrologists, 1 pharmacist and an audiologist, but I have never asked any of them for help.

I have not disclosed what I am going through to them, not because I am embarrassed but because I know they would all want to help and I do not want to worry them, lucky we only catch up a spasmodically due to distance.

Most of my friends, are also nurses, and my daughter in-law is too, they have all been so supportive and have had many talks with doctors about the dangers of benzos, which is now being highlighted more and more.

I am not totally anti medication Greg, and I am mindful so many people on Tinnitus Talk use them because living with tinnitus can make life very difficult, but I will never touch another mind altering drug again. I only take vitamin C, Curcumin and NAC now. Acupuncture and meditation work best for me, so I am glad these appear to be the safest options.

I will not take Chinese herbs, and the practitioner I see actually said he would not recommend that I do.

I just hope my body knows what it has to do on its own to reach some kind of homeostasis... with just a little helping hand from me, and of course without any prescription drugs. Thank you so much for taking the time to inform me of all this, you advice is always welcome and informative, Tinnitus Talk is lucky to have you around :huganimation:
 
on my husband's side of the family, Greg, we have 2 cardiologists, 2 anesthetists, 2 nephrologists, 1 pharmacist and an audiologist, but I have never asked any of them for help.

I have a cousin that wrote the diagnostic reference on diseases of the hematopoietic system for the World Health Organization's classification of lymphoid and myeloid disorders. Her work discusses diagnostic techniques, including molecular, immunohistochemical, and genetic studies with thousands of downloadable color images to confirm or challenge diagnostic interpretations.

She believes that tinnitus associates to the brain from damage to a molecular structure. That the ears are always part in tinnitus molecular brain sensing. Other powerful molecular structures with tinnitus associations is the heart, eyes, thyroid, along with veins, arteries and nerves of the neck, oral and facial pathways. She believes that it will take a few more years before a diagnostic test can truly evaluate without the need for massive amounts of dye that even rodents can't tolerate.

I also have several relatives who are doctors, dentists and vets and I won't take my hamster to any of them.

I had taken down my post that you quoted because I though that it was a little too concerning for others to read.
 
Intermittent use is probably the safest option emmalee, save it for when you really need it.

I understand why people take them though, while they work they are great, but it is a roll of the dice who will hit tolerance and who wont, even with short term use. Lets hope they find something safer to help us all emmalee.

And I sincerely hope you tinnitus never has you opening that bottle :huganimation:

I read up on Christy Huff, Star. Thank-you for bringing her to my attention. Also, I did a lot more reading on the Benzobuddies forum, late last night. I was having difficulty sleeping due to my latest spike, they seem to be happening closer together, recently.

After much soul searching, along with researching, I have made the decision to forgo the Clonazepam, even as needed. The pills have been discarded. I cannot risk anymore health issues, tinnitus is enough.:unsure:

Many heartfelt thanks to you and @Greg Sacramento for your wise words. I won't say advice, because you have both relayed information in a way that isn't at all condescending. You and Greg spoke from experience and, more importantly, from your hearts.

❤️
 
I managed to get the puree, today was a better day for me, here's hoping we all get better days, and they keep coming... :huganimation:

Having a better day is good news, Star. I also hope we all get better days.:huganimation:

Now that you have the puree you will have to get busy and bake a pie! ;)
 
Decided to start a thread for just random chat, pics, quotes etc. Somewhere to go for a catch up with members, express how you are feeling wether good or bad. A safe place as such :)

All I ask is be respectful of each other, be kind. I'd like to keep the "heated debates" and "arguments" to a bare minimum as there are plenty of threads for that.

Not sure if many will use this thread but I'll keep talking and adding pics etc :cool:

@OnceUponaTime Such kind souls that have posted on this page and thread. @Jcb did well by starting this thread.

I agree, Greg, Jcb did very well by starting this thread.
 
Having a better day is good news, Star. I also hope we all get better days.:huganimation:

Now that you have the puree you will have to get busy and bake a pie! ;)
Baking day set aside for this weekend emmalee, I am also going to make a bluberry pie.
I bought a can of Blueberry filling from the USA food store, never baked one of these before but I am going to use the filling to save time.

I will make my own pastry though this time for both pies, hope it turns out alright, I haven't done this for awhile.
ubuy-seal-authentic.png
514UPAzYwwL._SS100_.jpg

Musselman's Blueberry Pie Filling
 
I read up on Christy Huff, Star. Thank-you for bringing her to my attention. Also, I did a lot more reading on the Benzobuddies forum, late last night. I was having difficulty sleeping due to my latest spike, they seem to be happening closer together, recently.

After much soul searching, along with researching, I have made the decision to forgo the Clonazepam, even as needed. The pills have been discarded. I cannot risk anymore health issues, tinnitus is enough.:unsure:

Many heartfelt thanks to you and @Greg Sacramento for your wise words. I won't say advice, because you have both relayed information in a way that isn't at all condescending. You and Greg spoke from experience and, more importantly, from your hearts.

❤️
I always worry when I tell people my experience because I do not want to scare them, but at the same time I think people should be aware that these drugs can be dangerous.

Too many doctors are failing to acknowledge that they can be problematic, let alone anything about tapering off them. They are prescribed off label for everything these days.

When I read what some people were given them for, I just shake my head in disbelief.

I only warn so others do not suffer, It genuinely is from my heart emmalee, I would not wish worse tinnitus on anybody, and that is what I got from Benzo use.

So I think you have made a very wise decision :huganimation:
 
I have a cousin that wrote the diagnostic reference on diseases of the hematopoietic system for the World Health Organization's classification of lymphoid and myeloid disorders. Her work discusses diagnostic techniques, including molecular, immunohistochemical, and genetic studies with thousands of downloadable color images to confirm or challenge diagnostic interpretations.

She believes that tinnitus associates to the brain from damage to a molecular structure. That the ears are always part in tinnitus molecular brain sensing. Other powerful molecular structures with tinnitus associations is the heart, eyes, thyroid, along with veins, arteries and nerves of the neck, oral and facial pathways. She believes that it will take a few more years before a diagnostic test can truly evaluate without the need for massive amounts of dye that even rodents can't tolerate.

I also have several relatives who are doctors, dentists and vets and I won't take my hamster to any of them.

I had taken down my post that you quoted because I though that it was a little too concerning for others to read.
Thanks for sharing all this information, it is really interesting, let's hope that diagnostic test comes to fruition at some stage.

I know where you are coming from Greg, I also try to be mindful what I post, but at the end of the day I sort of feel I have an obligation to warn others, because benzo tolerance and withdrawal are nasty things to experience.

I also had a laugh at your comment about the hamster, because I have said the same thing myself :LOL:

I used to work with a great surgeon years ago, he had a wonderful sense of humor, I was the scrub nurse, he use to have us all laughing with his jokes in theatre. He asked me once did I know "the difference between a Surgeon and God " well in case you are wondering his answer was "God doesn't think he is a Surgeon." I have always remembered that joke. He was a very compassionate Dr, down to earth, and he used to tell me, never lose your sense of humor, it will take you far.

I thought I had lost it Greg, but I am starting to laugh again, and I see that as a good sign :)
 
I am starting to laugh again, and I see that as a good sign

Spot on Star.
Severe Tinnitus hit me with a feeling of deep sadness - it took so much from me - my entire way of life - my career, my music, my passion etc..

BUT - I recognised the need to be a cheerful partner for my lovely wife, to be a loving dad to my children, to be a fun grandad for my grandchildren, to be good company for my friends.
To be the person I once was.

That feeling of responsibility inspired me to experiment with 'cheerfulness' and to regain the fun aspect of my personality.
It has become natural to me once again.

We must never lose our sense of fun.
Fun draws people to us.
Dave x
Jazzer
 
"God doesn't think he is a Surgeon."

I get that joke. In the hospitals where I worked, we never treated surgeons like a God. I had a few surgeons as friends and all of them were very human.

I'm just cutting back on posting and the lengths of my posts. I will give some thoughts to a possible cause, but decided to cut out most medical terminology and medical digest links. Physical tinnitus should be termed "all systems will be on alert". About 90% of the questions that I get asked are by the PM feature. Most with very severe tinnitus related issues.

I'm hurting very bad with too many physical problems. All my many problems were caused by healthcare.

I once visited a private high quality long term medical care center out in the Northern California wilderness, where the public restrooms had marble floors. They were so large, tennis could be played on the floors. The rich and powerful can afford special care.

I don't often Chit Chat here.

@Star64 Did you like working in surgery?
 
Spot on Star.
Severe Tinnitus hit me with a feeling of deep sadness - it took so much from me - my entire way of life - my career, my music, my passion etc..

BUT - I recognised the need to be a cheerful partner for my lovely wife, to be a loving dad to my children, to be a fun grandad for my grandchildren, to be good company for my friends.
To be the person I once was.

That feeling of responsibility inspired me to experiment with 'cheerfulness' and to regain the fun aspect of my personality.
It has become natural to me once again.

We must never lose our sense of fun.
Fun draws people to us.
Dave x
Jazzer
I did see your story on YouTube, it made me tear up, but I am so happy to hear you got your 'cheerfulness' self back.
And you are so right, one should never lose their sense of fun :huganimation:
 

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