I should be posting this in the suicidal thread but whatever.
The last few weeks have been indescribable, and it all feels like some really sick joke. For the first time in 2 years this s**t managed to bring me to tears.
Tinnitus worsenings went from monthly to weekly to daily within 6 months.
Every morning I wake up with a new noise, and I mean every f****ng morning.
But something that's completely new are the auditory hallucinations, caused by both auditory and visual stimulation or none.
So now together with countless different tinnitus noises, there are also several auditory hallucinations that won't go away. These being owl hooting sounds, cop car sirens, sheep noises, truck reversing sounds and a mixture of phone signals. There are also some random sound effects I have previously heard in video games.
The owl hooting appeared after hearing a single owl hoot, since I heard the hooting sound myself through my earmuffs while fishing, and the cop car sirens appeared when I was watching a movie, without ANY sound, where a police car showed up on screen. And since seeing that goddamn cop car a siren noise has been playing in my right ear among the rest of the hallucinations. The other hallucinations showed up without any kind of recent stimuli.
And I do know I have musical ear syndrome. But this is far from it. When I hear a specific sound repeatedly over the course of a minute or so, it's stuck in my ear for a couple of hours. But musical ear syndrome is triggered by SOUND, and goes away within 2 days. The only sound I hear regularly is noises from my chair, footsteps, keyboard clicking, conversations with my parents and gushing tap water.
This is either a full blown brain tumor or schizophrenia causing this. I am seriously losing grip on reality.
This better be a f****ng brain tumor or I'm cutting 5 years off that suicide plan I have. This isn't life, what is this? 20 years old and I feel like a test subject to see how much mental and physical (noxacusis) torture a person can endure.
Is there anyone unfortunate enough to share something similar?! Or am I a one of a kind anomaly with a body worthy of donating for scientific purposes.
The last few weeks have been indescribable, and it all feels like some really sick joke. For the first time in 2 years this s**t managed to bring me to tears.
Tinnitus worsenings went from monthly to weekly to daily within 6 months.
Every morning I wake up with a new noise, and I mean every f****ng morning.
But something that's completely new are the auditory hallucinations, caused by both auditory and visual stimulation or none.
So now together with countless different tinnitus noises, there are also several auditory hallucinations that won't go away. These being owl hooting sounds, cop car sirens, sheep noises, truck reversing sounds and a mixture of phone signals. There are also some random sound effects I have previously heard in video games.
The owl hooting appeared after hearing a single owl hoot, since I heard the hooting sound myself through my earmuffs while fishing, and the cop car sirens appeared when I was watching a movie, without ANY sound, where a police car showed up on screen. And since seeing that goddamn cop car a siren noise has been playing in my right ear among the rest of the hallucinations. The other hallucinations showed up without any kind of recent stimuli.
And I do know I have musical ear syndrome. But this is far from it. When I hear a specific sound repeatedly over the course of a minute or so, it's stuck in my ear for a couple of hours. But musical ear syndrome is triggered by SOUND, and goes away within 2 days. The only sound I hear regularly is noises from my chair, footsteps, keyboard clicking, conversations with my parents and gushing tap water.
This is either a full blown brain tumor or schizophrenia causing this. I am seriously losing grip on reality.
This better be a f****ng brain tumor or I'm cutting 5 years off that suicide plan I have. This isn't life, what is this? 20 years old and I feel like a test subject to see how much mental and physical (noxacusis) torture a person can endure.
Is there anyone unfortunate enough to share something similar?! Or am I a one of a kind anomaly with a body worthy of donating for scientific purposes.