Because short term benzos work wonders.
I remember in the beginning, 5 mg of Diazepam would give me relief for a week. Sometimes 10 mg would totally mute it for two days. How can one resist that? But eventually, you will have to pay for it
Listen, I'm a veteran when it comes to this issue and I don't believe for one second that benzos and withdrawals do any kind of permanent damage. I'm sure your reactivity will improve. Patience is key, although hard.
Actually, I have a theory that through withdrawal, we can fool the brain to let tinnitus go away in the end.
Here is why (trying to be simplistic):
1) Nerve damage to the inner ear. The brain, with DCN being the central part, is actively occupied searching for the lost input. For me this was quite obvious because I had a constant rhythmic tinnitus going through a constant loop at the octave intervals where my dip in hearing lies (8 kHz - 12.5 kHz). Drrrrrrrrrrrrr (upwards in frequency) and it would end on a zing (very high pitched that was painful).
2) Now this goes on for a while. Then the brain stops searching for lost input and then either the tinnitus goes away, gets better or worse, but somehow it changes and this is where it becomes "a brain thing". The brain is not really bothered by the loss of input anymore, but the (hyper) activity in the DCN remains, but now because of mechanisms similar or exactly like "phantom limb pain".
For me, the rhythmic loop ended and I was left with a high pitched squeal. Not pleasant, but more stable, a less organic feel to it. I could also feel a change of perception switching from my ears to my brain. It was subtle and I could be biased as this is following the theory I have learned to believe.
And bear in mind, this was my process. I know it can be a totally different story/process for others.
I will just add that it took three acoustic traumas for my tinnitus to become chronic. The first two times (2001 & 2008) my tinnitus lasted for some months and then went away. I thought this was the nature of tinnitus so sadly I did not learn much from it, taking care of my ears. From 2014 it has stayed with me
3) To the interesting part regarding benzo withdrawals and how the brain can be fooled to slow down the fusiform cells in the DCN. If I am right in that the brain eventually disregards the hearing loss (bad news for inner hair cell regeneration as a possible treatment, not that I disregard this AT ALL!).
But it makes things a little easier, because it falls more on brain chemistry. Easier, but by no means easy, as I believe all our voltage-gated pathways, neurotransmitters and hormones could play a part in upholding but also curing this fucking senseless affliction. It also means thousands of different approaches could work.
As far as I know, maybe apart from some very specific voltage gated channels, GABA and GABA-receptors, Glutamate and NMDA-receptors plays the high ranking role regarding inhibition and hyperexcitability of the CNS and the DCN.
4) So to my optimistic view/theory then. When in benzo withdrawal, you are causing even more havoc to the part(s) of your brain already in hyperactive mode because of this "phantom limb" effect where many seem to believe Glutamate plays a role in the first place, thus making tinnitus even worse (reactivity, louder, higher pitch and a more electrical feel are all things that I have felt/is feeling during withdrawal). Well, what if then, even though a drawn out and terrible process, when we eventually heal, maybe the brain forgets about its initial hyperactivity and we end up better off than before we threw benzos at it
I've read a lot of stories of people who initially became dependent on benzos because of anxiety and panic disorder and went through hell getting off it, but came out the other end free from the former problems and felt better than ever
This is also my experience. I´ve been through 2-3 wd´s in my life. In 2018 I was free from benzos after a long withdrawal. I remember two evenings in the summer where my tinnitus would just fade down to nothing. That has never happened before or after in that way because I fucked up again and got back on it, chasing tinnitus free days. If I had remained absent, god knows where I would have been today. Benzos are a sickness for me. Been on/off since 1993.
I must add I was also down and stable on 7.5 mg from 30 mg of Mirtazapine at the time. I think boosting our serotonin levels artificially is not good news for tinnitus, as it is a stimulant. But antidepressants will relieve you of stress and depression so it's a tough choice.
That's it from me. Hope you like my theory? I have written this whole post with my virtual keyboard (too sick to sit in an upright position and use a keyboard). It took me around 3-4 hours to write the bloody thing
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