Day 13, F**k It and Smile!

[Charron]

Ok, so to be quick and not bore the pants off anyone, it's been 13 days since I fell apart, nearly done something silly with no help from the medical profession, got more help and support from kind people on here who actually saved my life.
Being a perfectionist I thought was great, I'm a survivor who is strong and achieved loads the unconventional way, so when this happened I didn't want to live, in this short time I researched to find there is no cure, looked for a quick way to end it, and even that's not easy! Family and friends obviously gave tremendous support but life goes on for them.
I took advice from the POSITIVE saints on this forum!!!!! Calmed my nervous system with first diazepam which turned me into a zombie who couldn't sleep, then replaced with a herbal alternative called zenphorol, then I read a few recommend books on why my head has these noises, very hard when you cant concentrate, yesterday a book called F**k it! Oh boy that definitely worked for me!
Now I'm more relaxed the noises have dropped a level, I'm reallllllly positive and on top of all that I can see this happened to me to look at life differently, my body is aching and tired but that's natural after so long without sleep! I'm definitely getting there, today the December sun is shining I can hear the birds outside waiting for the daily feed , and if it's all too loud and the family make a mess at my perfect house at Xmas I'm just going to wear my ear plugs take a chill pill and say F**k it!!!!!

 

[LeQuack]

Thanks great to hear, wish I could motivate myself sometimes. How is your hearing doing, any improvements with that? Did the doctor give you the steroids?

 

[Sound Wave]

Haa, that's a classic book I also introduced to this forum a while ago. Highly recommended indeed!

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/books-that-may-help-dealing-with-tinnitus.4855/#post-59991

 

[Charron]

My symptoms seem to be lessening now the meds calmed my body, the mind is a powerful thing and I only now spend time on the success stories and use other people's coping suggestions, the Drs mainly know nothing and if u don't have the right support I can see how it affects stress levels, I did get a weeks steroids but out of the recommended time, I'm the type of person if I feel pain I pop a pill and carry on! My life was spent rushing around to make everything perfect and I truly thought it was so this was a double whammy! No more 20 mile hikes, no driving, no work, no music the list goes on lol, as I say luckily it has made me slow down and evaluate what is missing from my perfect life, looking after myself, getting people to help me, understanding it doesn't Matter if things arnt perfect and fuck it! I thought this would take years to get over! It bloody won't, all the good people here need to comfort the newbies who can't cope, thank god for this site xxxxxx

Oh and I won't be about now for a few days as carrying on with small tasks at home and not just focusing on this pulled me out of some bad thoughts, hard for someone who used to fill their time 14 hours a day and is now stuck in but then on the other hand I can now be lazy and catch up on books and tv not housework! Fuck the dust! Xxxxxxxx

 

[Cheza]

 

[just1morething]

My symptoms seem to be lessening now the meds calmed my body, the mind is a powerful thing and I only now spend time on the success stories and use other people's coping suggestions, the Drs mainly know nothing and if u don't have the right support I can see how it affects stress levels, I did get a weeks steroids but out of the recommended time, I'm the type of person if I feel pain I pop a pill and carry on! My life was spent rushing around to make everything perfect and I truly thought it was so this was a double whammy! No more 20 mile hikes, no driving, no work, no music the list goes on lol, as I say luckily it has made me slow down and evaluate what is missing from my perfect life, looking after myself, getting people to help me, understanding it doesn't Matter if things arnt perfect and fuck it! I thought this would take years to get over! It bloody won't, all the good people here need to comfort the newbies who can't cope, thank god for this site xxxxxx

Oh and I won't be about now for a few days as carrying on with small tasks at home and not just focusing on this pulled me out of some bad thoughts, hard for someone who used to fill their time 14 hours a day and is now stuck in but then on the other hand I can now be lazy and catch up on books and tv not housework! Fuck the dust! Xxxxxxxx

Did you get a IT dexamethasone injection in your affected ear?

 

[Charron]

No, because I had been told it would just clear up I was given a decongestant, 3days later I broke down and took myself hospital as the noises were so loud I couldn't cope, I was given some oral steroids, and he medical system is so ove stretched here that I was simply a mad woman with just a head cold lol, I've never broken down before, except when my nans died.
I think what has helped me alone as accepting the situation, I spent a week online day and night looking for a pill to cure, having panic attacks because I couldn't leave the house due to T and H, then reading advice on this site, especially the books.
Now it's time to let my body heal, I'm so slim! Not a bad thing coming up to Xmas, no energy, but I will let people help, I normally don't, and I will take things slowly, I usually get things done in an instant! The main thing is I will live in the moment and appreciate the little things that I stopped enjoying.
I will try and use my mind to heal what medication can't and fuck the rest lol xxxxxxx

 

[just1morething]

View attachment 8996

Do you need a prescription for that lol.

 

[shreddAr87]

Did your hearing come back? Did you he a hearing test to tell you if you were actually deaf?

 

[Charron]

Some hearing is returning, bit like a distorted blown speaker, crackles with loud pitch, and H, it's been 17 days, I'm on herbal sleepers, I'm passed the panic attack stage, I now want to live not die, my family have been supporting but also around me all Xmas so it's been very loud, earplugs have been used a few times!
I accepted the condition very fast, I'm not looking for a cure as keep researching makes it worse.
I'm not ready to drive or return to work bit will try and hike tomorrow, supermarkets are still scarey so may wait a week before that too, I'm not waiting too long, F**K it and smile x

 

[ceauses97]

21 days ago since I got tinntus. How did you get yours?

 

[Charron]

Woke up deaf, end of! No reason, almost 3 weeks ago x

 

[ceauses97]

Don't get me wrong. I admire your courage, but after reading your posts, why do I get this feeling that you may think this is something you have to deal with the rest of your life? Did your doctor tell you that?

Cause If not, I'm very sure this is just a temporary thing. I don't know your story, but sudden hearling loss is a common problem, and your hearling will usally go back to it's normal after weeks/months.

Don't know if you take any vitamins, but B12 is a good start.

Hope it goes well for you. Keep us updated. Good luck!

 

[Charron]

I do take regular vitamins, my hearing may come back, or may not, the specialists don't know, our health service are stretched to the limit and no one has any information, all I know is when it happened with the loud T I was told by 3 different Drs to deal with it, I'm a strong person, and to go from working, driving, hiking 20 miles a weekend to not being able to do a thing with a noise I couldn't escape the only info I had was Internet, and was scarey! I then came across this forum and posted for someone to help and was lucky that a few came forward and gave me some hope.
I don't have have it as bad as some, but I don't want to go down the path of belief that one day I will be back to normal, I was in meltdown for 10 days, then it affected my family as they have never seen me that way, I prefer to accept it and carry on as I gave up all hope but now I see that people cope better if they carry on with life, I've taken all the great advice, and this has taught me some lessons on life, it's made me a more caring and sympathetic person, I hope one day I can help others like the help I have had here as the Drs just haven't got a clue on what an impact this can have on someone's life. Happy new year to you x

 

[ceauses97]

you got some shitty doctors in your area, thats for sure. I don't know what they have told you, but I can exactly tell what ENT specialists here in Norway would have.

If you haven't got any infections, build up ear wax or the fact that your hearing loss is noice-induced, your tinnitus will fade away. and your hearing will most likely return to its normal. I'm not saying that to give you any false hope, why would i, that doesnt benefit me at all. I'm just telling you things based on statistics. (my sources are mine ENT doctors)

I think its a good thing that you already have started to accept your condition after some few weeks, only a strong mental person can do that. I'm not there yet. the only thing that keeps me up is the fact that mine tinnitus will be gone as well.

but since you seem to be fine. I think this would be like a piece of cake for you. Just let your body heal, and you will wake up as you were before.

happy new year to you too

 

[Charron]

U have totally made my day! I love positivity and reassurance! I am a strong minded person and took it for granted, plus the fact I have never been ill I didn't have much sympathy for people who were ill, my attitude to life has changed, I'm kinder, wiser and am enjoying things that I used to rush! Yesterday I done a 7 mile hike, not half of what I used to do but after 3 weeks it's a start! Thank u very much for your lovely encouraging knowledge! I am sending healing thoughts your way xxxxxx

 

[ceauses97]

It's great to hear how your view on life has changed, because at the end of the day I think we all take life for granted. I was also like that before, and I never appericated what I had before I got T. We should all be more grateful, its scary how fast life can change in matters of seconds.

I remember when i first started to hear the ringing in my head, a quick search on google and I was terrified. I started to believe this was something i had to deal with the rest of my life, and I was so young. The first week I was depressed knowing i may never enjoy silence again. After my ENT trip I got told that tinnitus and hearling loss was a common problem, and that in most cases the T fades away on its own. Many people have had their T go away after weeks and months, but you won't read about these people on the internet, because they don't want to be remined of their previous disorder.

People usually only posts negatity on the internet. for instance, we dont really go to any forum and starts living in fear when are dealing with headache, right? because we know its normal, and that it will go away on its own. But did you know there is something called chronic headache? people who have to deal with pain in their head every day in their life. (migraine, but more extreme)

Now think if today was the first time you suffered from headache. You have never heard about it. You're scared, you don't know whats happening, and you do a quick internet search to find out whats going on. and boom, you read a lot of scary stories that has nothing to with the reality.

the same goes on with sudden hearling loss and Tinnitus. I'm sure this is just a temporary thing, for both you and me. We just have to be patience, and let our body heal itself. and soon, we will hopefully enjoy our lifes again.

take care!

 

[Charron]

Just to let u know that each day I'm slowly getting I'm s**t back together! All the advice given has helped me soooooo much!
Having this happen has made me see how I took so much for granted, my sleep pattern is still a mess and I'm not going back to work for a while BUT I am back to hiking, back to driving and because it has slowed my pace of life down I'm appreciating small things that I stopped doing a long time ago!
Happy new year to u all and I will be back on here soon to update, encourage and hopefully help others.

Big big hugs to all xxxxx

 

[Mclyra]

you got some shitty doctors in your area, thats for sure. I don't know what they have told you, but I can exactly tell what ENT specialists here in Norway would have.

If you haven't got any infections, build up ear wax or the fact that your hearing loss is noice-induced, your tinnitus will fade away. and your hearing will most likely return to its normal. I'm not saying that to give you any false hope, why would i, that doesnt benefit me at all. I'm just telling you things based on statistics. (my sources are mine ENT doctors)

I think its a good thing that you already have started to accept your condition after some few weeks, only a strong mental person can do that. I'm not there yet. the only thing that keeps me up is the fact that mine tinnitus will be gone as well.

but since you seem to be fine. I think this would be like a piece of cake for you. Just let your body heal, and you will wake up as you were before.

happy new year to you too

Hello, All,

I haven't a Ear infection nor is my hearing loss noise induced. I don't have earwax. But my ent (a very thorough one) never told me T would fade.
I'm about four months in and have good days and bad days (today is a bad one, otherwise I wouldn't be here ), I'm overall in a better state than the mess I was back in September.

Charon, I'm just like you. I don't hope for a cure, I hope for not giving it a f•••k. I hope for more good ear days than bad ear days.

And I also acknowledge there's a good side to it. Made me pay attention to things I wasn't. I think I am a more spiritual person because of T. I'm taking better care of myself.

Yes, I believe we can manage.

 

[Mclyra]

... But I'm happy there are doctors who think it will fade! My last audiogram from two weeks ago is slightely better than the one from September. My loss is in the low frequencies and I think I'm hearing better from the more damaged ear (the other has borderline values). Back in September I couldn't talk on the phone with my right ear and now I can. Don't know if it's cure or habituation but really don't care.

 

[Charron]

@Mclyra, I hiked yesterday in the rain all day, my T is up but I guess it's the price I pay for not wearing earplugs, I'm going to rest today as Xmas has been hectic and my breakdown at the start of this took my strength, I'm glad that u seem to be doing well, I can say that too, I'm nearly a month in so I take it as quite good progress, it's early days and they say that the brain will get bored of the noise and we habituate (bad spelling).
It seems every Dr has a different diagnosis, I'm bored with it all to be honest, the worst for me now is not sleeping properly but that too will come.
It certainly is life changing, could even be for the better haha, F**k it who cares! Life is so short anyway better to try and enjoy every moment xxxxx

 

[billie48]

It warms my heart to see you turning around your traumatic condition so fast. I can tell you are having such a dramatic positive change because you believe and follow the positive advice from forum members. I have always said that to be successful, there is nothing better than to copy success. Finding out the insights of how others have turned around and copying those insights or at least trying them out, that is a good strategy towards recovery. Those insights are from people who have walked their talks, all personal, first-handed experiences more precious than book knowledge alone. Your success will be an inspiration for other struggling members. Hopefully you will continue to move forward positively towards final habituation, where you won't hear your T most of the day whether it is there or not. Keep it up Charron. Congrats.

 

[Charron]

Thank u @ billlie48, today has been a busy day, I didn't want to go out as hiking Sunday made my T louder, I forgot my ear plugs is the only thing I can think of, and I was out for 6 hours in noisy wind and rain, it's a weird thing to have T in one ear and H in the other!
But today I had loads to do, and I did it, out the house for another 5 hours, shopping visiting and cafe lunch which seemed as loud as a club!
It all still seems weird to me but I know it's early days, I just pop on here and read others who have beaten this, some who are new and like me in utter panic, it's thanks to you all taking time to give suggestions and guidance, I'm managing on very little sleep but know one day it will become easier, thanks and hugs to u all xxx

 

[Charron]

Little update, just over 2 months, I have been ignoring the H, lots of supermarkets and cafes, it's definitely getting better.

The T is still hisssssing, sometimes loud but one morning I woke and thought it had gone! Then I listened hard and found it! It only happened the once but after trying the back to silence method with some success I'm thinking perhaps that's what can be achieved in the end! Or it was a small taste of habituation.

It's pretty loud tonight, always is when I'm lazing around but I'm not scared anymore, have put weight back on so guess I'm definitely getting better, will keep telling myself yes I hear it but I'm bored/ busy/ tired, and it's just a paper tiger, my heart goes out to all who are suffering, and love to those who are always here to help, hugs xxxxxxx