Deaf & Despairing

[RachelP]

I've been hearing impaired (severe-profound loss) all my life, worn hearing aids since age 15 and had ringing in my ears (crickets) for as long as I can remember, but it only bothered me when I was in a really quiet room.

However, back in January I developed a chronic "humming/buzzing" on top of my usual crickets. Two months ago, I lost all hearing in my right (good) ear and the buzzing intensified 10-fold. The best way I can describe it is like I am trapped in a little room full of crickets and there is one window with a lawnmower running continuously outside it.

I cannot get away from it, tune it out, or mask it with other sounds as my ear has no hearing left.

I am profoundly deaf in my left ear so while I do get some sounds when wearing my HA, it's not much.

I've recently started having panic attacks; have trouble falling asleep; and wake several times during the night (usually in a state of terror). I feel so helpless right now.

I hope to get a cochlear implant but being in Canada, this could take 6 mo to 1 yr! Does anyone have any advice for coping when you are deaf and that's all you hear?

 

[gotyoubynuts]

I've been hearing impaired (severe-profound loss) all my life, worn hearing aids since age 15 and had ringing in my ears (crickets) for as long as I can remember, but it only bothered me when I was in a really quiet room.

However, back in January I developed a chronic "humming/buzzing" on top of my usual crickets. Two months ago, I lost all hearing in my right (good) ear and the buzzing intensified 10-fold. The best way I can describe it is like I am trapped in a little room full of crickets and there is one window with a lawnmower running continuously outside it.

I cannot get away from it, tune it out, or mask it with other sounds as my ear has no hearing left.

I am profoundly deaf in my left ear so while I do get some sounds when wearing my HA, it's not much.

I've recently started having panic attacks; have trouble falling asleep; and wake several times during the night (usually in a state of terror). I feel so helpless right now.

I hope to get a cochlear implant but being in Canada, this could take 6 mo to 1 yr! Does anyone have any advice for coping when you are deaf and that's all you hear?

I am sorry what you are going through. Deaf with these sounds would kill me. I can't imagine what you are going through. The cochlear implants hopefully help? You need to hear sound and those will provide it.

 

[billie48]

Welcome to the forum, @RachelP. Sorry about your dealing with deafness and T. Since you mention you have hearing impairment since 15, it reminds me of the story of a young pretty girl Zoe Cartwright and her courageous and triumphant story with complete deafness since 15 and developing total unmaskable loud T from hence. It was already tough for a young girl to suddenly turn deaf at 15, not to say having to deal with the ringing 7/24 for life. But she decides to accept her reality with T, and moves on to pursue her goals in life. Against all odds, she made it to university, even making a short tinnitus film which she titled it 7.24.52.10, which means her loud T was with her 7/24, 52 weeks a year and has been for 10 years at the time of making the film. Her positive spirit and her courage has become my guiding light during my toughest struggle with T. I mention her story in much more detail, with link to her film, in my success story. Check this out to see if her story can help you cope. Take good care. God bless.

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/thread...w-i-recovered-from-tinnitus-hyperacusis.3148/

 

[glynis]

Hi @RachelP,
I have just read your story and understand how hard it must be for you.
I would try relaxation and maybe lavender oil on your pillow to relax you and the sence of smell a good distraction from tinnitus and maybe the feel of a slight breeze from a fan on you might help.

The tinnitus group Dot and I run is run as a part of dDeaflinks that is a day centre for the deaf and helps with interpreters and runs sign language and lip reading courses etc....lots of love glynis

 

[Lorac]

Hello @RachelP and welcome to TinnitusTalk!
You sure are dealing with a tough situation. Do you know how your hearing was damaged in either ear? I hope the cochlear implant will help and I am sorry you have to wait so long for it. Are you getting help from a therapist? It is not surprising that you are suffering with panic attacks.

 

[RachelP]

Thank you all for the replies. My hearing loss is hereditary so not trauma induced. I have an upcoming appointment with the CI clinic on Thursday and hoping they can direct me to further help in coping with the tinnitus.

 

[undecided]

I would have hoped that the health systems in such advanced countries as Canada would solve problems such as yours in a matter of days. It does indeed sound like a cochlear implant is the only solution so you can get some masking going.

Did you ever find why there was that total hearing loss in your good ear two months ago? Maybe an acoustic emissions test would shed some light whether there is a nerve or a hair cell problem... Maybe determine if anything is fixable.
Anyway, hope you get some good things going as soon as possible...

 

[GregCA]

Thank you all for the replies. My hearing loss is hereditary so not trauma induced. I have an upcoming appointment with the CI clinic on Thursday and hoping they can direct me to further help in coping with the tinnitus.

There is a chance that the CI can help with the T.
Do you know what is "wrong" with your hearing? What is missing/malfunctioning? If your hereditary condition matches conditions that are inflicted by trauma (or other diseases), then you may benefit from their treatments (if/when they become available).

Good luck!

 

[Lorac]

@RachelP ,
How are you doing? You and your situation have been on my mind and I hope you are coping a little better. I have profound deafness and tinnitus in one ear. It is bad and I cannot imagine how hard this must be for you. I just wanted you to know that you are in my thoughts.

 

[Gosia]

Hi.. have you tried some not too invasive meds that could calm the brain activity down a bit ? Maybe yoga , acupuncture , some herbs ? I know I'd take anything in that situation, I can't imagine what horror that must be . I hope it's not too loud at least wish you the best.

 

[hartje5]

New T. sounds tend to get quieter as time goes by. I read on the forum a lot that the first three month are the hardest (and loudest). Hope you are getting the help you need soon. Thinking of you.

 

[RachelP]

I was able to get my CI in my right ear back in October and got activated in November. My T actually got way worse right after the surgery but then eventually settled back into its "riding lawnmower" state. Having input of other sound made a huge difference for me! The panic attacks stopped and even though when I take off my processors, the T is still there just as much as before, I can get through my day ok. The down side is that a couple of months ago my T spiked in my left ear and about a month ago, I lost the small amount of hearing I had in my left. Now the T is through the roof. The panic attacks are back (although I am able to keep myself under control, I still get the suffocating feeling, especially at night). I am terrified about losing my processor or having it break as it is the only thing that keeps me from going insane from the T. I am desperate for a solution!

 

[SilverSpiral]

That's good that the cochlear implant was helpful, I hope your hearing improves again, despite your recent worsening of the left, I guess cochlear implant for that ear is needed? These are very difficult symptoms i hope it gets better.

 

[Jkph75]

I really hope that they will give you another implant. I think you can buy one for $50,000 yourself. It's a ridiculous amount of money but with such severe symptoms it may be worth trying to get a loan if all else fails. Sending some prayers your way.