Decided It Would Be Nice...

[chrisp]

I figured it would be nice to have someone who actually understands this stuff to chat with.

I only recently starting hearing the noise, and you'll have to pardon me for not being up on the lingo. I was outside waiting for my SO and suddenly my left ear felt like I was descending in a plane. It filled with pressure and then slowly it subsided. But when it went away, I was left with that ringing. Like, the highest pitched ringing I can imagine. I haven't been able to find a proper analogue to describe it. It always feels like when I describe it, the description is lacking something... it never does it justice because everyone I describe it to plays it off like it's nothing. But... it's NOT nothing. I want to drive an icepick behind my ear sometimes. It's not nothing.

Anyway, over the course of about a week, it moved to my right ear and that's where it stayed. It's actually not accurate to say "right ear" because it feels like it's behind the ear, embedded firmly inside my head somewhere.

There have been good days and bad ones. Today is a bad one. The only relief I can find is in the shower or with headphones. I never listened to loud music before, and there seems to be no reason for this to have triggered. Since it started I've been to my family Doctor, had bloodwork done, and he sees nothing wrong. Of course he doesn't. They never do, do they? He said it might be connected to my hayfever, but it's been 2 months now and I haven't had terribly bad allergies.

Anyway, I have a very high whine in my head and have no idea what to try to make it subside. Sometimes I kinda "forget it" when I'm listening to a podcast and doing some Photoshop work or writing, but I'm generally very distracted by it. Especially right now, it's the worst it's been in quite some time. When it gets like this, I usually take a couple showers a day just because I know that it will be of some relief. The AC in our bedroom doesn't mask it at all. Luckily I'm unemployed right now (weird sentence, I know) so I'm not in terrible need for a good sleep schedule, but it's always difficult to fall asleep when the whine is at its worst.

It's like there's a barrier in my head, and the noise is trying to breach it. I'm such a hypochondriac anyway, that I fear what will happen when that barrier breaks. That probably makes no sense, but it does to me.

Okay, I don't have anything more to say that I can think of. This is just the first step for me to chat with people who can actually sympathize. Thanks for reading.

-Chris. 35. Toronto.

 

[Tamika]

This is just the first step for me to chat with people who can actually sympathize

Hi Chris
I totally get where you are at, and can empathise with you. Looks like our problem started about the same time. Mine was noise exposure. It sounds like you are doing everything right to cope with keeping distracted and busy. I'm having a bad day today too. Not much of a response to cheer you up with! But I do understand. Lets hope we can hang in there and let time do its magic for us as it has for many others.
Tamika
P.S. Have you checked out the Success Stories?

 

[Carroc]

I just had my 2 month anniversary of T. Sitting in church and got a loud static noise in my ear and still there 24/7. It does vary in loudness and I kept a journal but can find no rhyme or reason to why it gets better why it gets worse except for the fact that anything too loud can ramp it up. Like walking by a car when someone double locks it and the horn toots is in your ear and too loud bars where people are screaming at the next table. Earbuds for ipod no good. Everyone agrees the shower is the only place they get relief but I also find walking on the treadmill at home helps too.
While you are off work you need to find a solution for your sleeping cuz during the day distraction helps. I like it quiet at night so this is frustrating. I read to get a noise maker and put it on a different sound so your mind is on focused on your head/ear noise. Mine is static in the ear so I put the machine on rain. Plus have a fan too. My doctor gave me xanax but I have only taken one. I like having a safety net and then try not to use it. Many people have recommended many things for sleep so look around this site. Glad it is here and just because we look ok from the outside people don't realize the mental torture this is. Good luck and maybe yours will go away. It does for some.

 

[chrisp]

Thanks guys, I'm certainly looking forward to sharing progress without being an "overshare." I'm at the point now where there's always something "on" in my place to make noise, and it helps. Stress from worrying about finding a job or money issues and whatnot... I'm sure all that stuff isn't good for it either.

Anyway, thanks for the welcome, I'm definitely going to be poking around the site to kinda get the lay of the land and become more familiar with the jargon and people.

 

[Jelena]

I totally understand how you feel..mine started 2 months ago as well and It's a high pitched sound that sometimes can get really bothering. Also, not being able to find the cause of it is very frustrating as well! I would just like to know what caused it and what's going on in there! But anyways, I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone and it is hard, especially in the beginning but you get used to it. Right now, there is 3 different sounds in my ears, but they do not bother me and I can forget about them easily when I concentrate on something else. There are good and bad days for sure but you will get used to it...I never thought I will, myself..but our brain is a strange and wonderful thing and it adapts quickly. And you never know, maybe your T is temporary and it will go away soon..I hope it is! I am a hypochondriac myself and I imagine so many bad scenarios, so I totally understand you!

 

[Lara K]

. Like, the highest pitched ringing I can imagine. I haven't been able to find a proper analogue to describe it. It always feels like when I describe it, the description is lacking something... it never does it justice because everyone I describe it to plays it off like it's nothing. But... it's NOT nothing. I want to drive an icepick behind my ear sometimes. It's not nothing.[/QUOte

I really like this description because it sounds so harmless when you describe it to people, but its not, and it sucks. It has almost a physical presence. It isn't just sound, it has weight too. And anything that you can't turn off is not nothing.

My tinnitus started when I lost hearing totally out of the blue in my left ear. I got most of the hearing back over the course of a month, but now it rings.

After a few months of panic my brain is getting used to it, and I feel like it is quieter. I usually have sound in my house somewhere and I don't feel bad about that now. It seems like a lot of time people focus on sleeping in silence and not using masking, but I enjoyed white noise before I got tinnitus so I don't mind the extra noise now. Although I feel like brown noise and rain sounds mask it better.

Sometimes when my tinnitus is quiet I will sit there and listen, and I know that if I tweak the way I am listening just a little bit the sounds will come back. I almost feel like I could learn to listen around it.

I think it almost always gets easier. Our brains seem to adapt as long as it is not crazy loud.

How are you doing?

 

[chrisp]

Well it's October now and my T hasn't gone away. This has been a bit of a rough week, actually. It's difficult to concentrate, but I've been doing my best.

Since my introduction, I've started streaming live on Twitch every day... doing live drawings and comic books and whatnot.

I'm starting to think my T is dental-related, so I'll be looking into that. Up until about a week ago my T and I were living together fairly friendly-like, but he's being a total jerk lately. It's distracting and sometimes feels like there's a think wall of tissue between the sound and a stroke, and that it could tear through any second. I know that makes no sense whatsoever, but I'm still struggling on how to describe it. If I KNEW it was "just a noise," I'd be okay, I'd deal with it... but I keep convincing myself it's a tumor or it's this or that or maybe it'll lead to a stroke or an aneurysm or something... hypochondria isn't fun, gang.

Anyway, haven't given up.