Dennis

[Dennis McCorkle]

Thank you for accepting me into this group. I would like to share my story with you. Although I've never been diagnosed with tinnitus by my ENT, or doctor, I do suffer greatly from it and the effects it causes in one's life.

I was born with a perforated right ear drum. This would not be discovered until I was around 8 yrs old. Before then, I was the child that got sick easy, and as got older and into elementary grade school, got sick more often. I would have constant ear infections, and if not caught soon enough would turn to Strep throat. It was like clockwork. It seemed like every 2-3 weeks I would get ear infection/strep. Finally enter the ENT. He could never see the perforation until I went to see him vs. reg doc for the ear infection with the green ooze coming out. That's when he found it. I'm 12 now. Have you ever had your ears vacuumed? I never liked it then, and still don't. I've been through ear tubes, drains, covers to keep water out, (didn't swim for over 4 years) and now as the adult wear muffs and scarfs to cover ears. Still sensitive to cold. I ended up at 12 having the right ear drum skin grafted. Ever since then...I've been healthy. Fight off colds and sickness. No more ear infections/strep.

I love this part. But, I've been left with tinnitus. I can hear the dog whistle and almost an octave above that. This doesn't take into account at this point all the overtones from regular everyday noises people don't hear. Like the squeal of the sliding doors at the stores, or the ultra high frequency the air conditioners make. My ENT never believed me and my parents never took me back after the surgery because I was healthy and happy for the most part. They just figured I'd be OK and deal with it. So I have.

I constantly looked up this 'ringing in the ears' in every book, medical journal, encyclopedia I could find, I learned Tinnitus is the name of the condition and it so widely varies from person to person. I also learned most doctors think you're crazy, or emotionally depraved and seeking attention. I'm glad it's actually being researched as a disease finally.

Age 12. That magical age where you enter into puberty and you body starts the adult journey. 2 weeks after my ear surgery, I had a bicycle accident, (the day Evil Knievel failed his canyon jump). I landed on my face. took off my nose, and most of the skin on my face. Broke upper and lower jaw bone on left and right sides, lost 8 teeth, lost 40 lbs, and cracked roof of my mouth. Spent the entire 6th grade in the hospital with my teeth wired into my jaw, jaw wired for stability, braces, and mouth wired shut for 18 months. This tragedy caused the Tinnitus in my left ear and the right to worsen. As I was healing I learned by myself the pitch and tones of the tinnitus were different than before. I can't sing now, because I'm tone deaf, but i do 'make a joyful noise' when I can.

After this accident, life was about finding a safer journey, just being healthy. So I learned to deal with any pain and ringing in my ears. Different coping mechanisms, medicines for headaches/pain and home remedies for what feels like ear infection, but is not. I'm sure each of you have a similar story on this singular vein of the broad topic of tinnitus.

In my adulthood, I've had too many emotional challenges in dealing with tinnitus and the lasting effects it has on my life, relationships and mental status. I've sought out several different 'industry leading' ENT's, hearing aids professionals and regular doctors, all to no avail. No Help at all.

In my next submission, I can further explain, hopefully with greater detail for you, the journey I've taken in seeking out medical help for the emotional aspects tinnitus causes, and how my wife and soulmate have saved me literally several times from suicide. Coping is the key. There will never be a cure, because there will never be a diagnosed cause for tinnitus. There is much to say on the topic however, I am but one person that suffers daily, in a great way. Until next time.

 

[Dennis McCorkle]

Tinnitus. Coping is the key. There will never be a cure, because there will never be a diagnosed cause for tinnitus.

Over the years my T has increased and is now measured at 112 db. This is louder than most areas in the manufacturing company I work for as supervisor. There are areas that have shrill whistles from exhaust fans and motors, gears on equipment that move. I wear noise cancelling headphones, but they generally only block about 23db. It helps a little. I find myself going to my office to seek more quiet and to let my ears settle.

I have visited several ENT's and they understand this is a problem but they cannot help control or fix it. My regular doctor says it's in my head and has no understanding of the pain, angst or anxiety it causes. I have never been given any medicine to try to control it. i have used white noise machines. just playing static on radio, keeping radio and / or TV plaiying in background. This helps because you find yourself concentrating on something else. Changing your mental focus is the biggest key to coping. Your subconscious is what you need to learn more about in how you deal with and how you cope with tinnitus. At least, this is my opinion.

I believe that my bicycle accident at age 12 caused my tinnitus and that tinnitus is mostly a neurological disease. The brain wave synopses memory codes have been broken and need restoration and to be rebuilt. Since I flipped off the ramp, and smashed my head into the ground, some of the connections are broken. The same way people people loose memory after a serious accident. I believe they will never be reconnected.

i have tried all kinds of music, from classical, to new age, to white noise, static, and just very very loud. I enjoy the heavy drum beat in music, and find this changes the way I hear. It puts a pressure into my ears and causes more clarity and I can hear without the whistle of tinnitus. Not sure why this is, but i think it is tone coupled with the pressure. After playing very loud music of any kind, my tinnitus is less for a while. My guess is that the music was finally louder than the tinnitus when loud. I'm not sure how to explain that with any science or related studies.

There are times when tinnitus is so loud it will wake me from sleep. i believe this to be caused by stress, worry, or ability to not fully relax when sleeping or in bed. Today, right now, it is so loud I cannot hear the keys being punched on the laptop as i type this out. It's like being deaf. It's makes you more keenly aware of your surroundings. THIS is where the emotional trauma begins. Am I going crazy? being too dramatic?

The hearing aid professional looks at me and smiles. Well of course she does; she's making a ton of money off me. Still no solid answer or device, mechanism to help. Finding a hearing aid specialist that understands tinnitus and how to measure it is a rare find here the U.S. i cannot afford the $7600 usd aids she suggested I get. And here, the insurance companies do not cover costs like this. I asked if the hearing aids push out or block noise, or make it louder to overcompensate for the tinnitus. i never got a direct answer. So i sill don't know.

it's the set backs like these that collect up over time that make you just give up. The more you give up the more you think about making it stop. Which leads you to suicidal tendancies in the long run. My wife, God bless her, has helped me cope emotionally and has helped me find different ways to cope.
Sometimes let a faucet drip so i can focus on this, leave on white noise machine, listen to tinnitus terminator throughout the house. i purchased the Tinnitus Terminator program and can send you a link to the files in my dropbox account if you message me with your email. .

I still believe I have a middle ear problem, combined with the neurological problem. I think this is why the medical field cannot figure it out and put it all together. It is different for each person. Sound is not tangible. We are a miracle creation of God when you think of how we made and what we are capable of doing.

I've tried music, white noise, attenuation, hearing aids, noise cancelling headphones, (wear daily at work) musician ear plugs combined with NC headphones, over 6 different videos on the YouTube.com site for tinnitus. Regularly (each month) I use a flush kit to clean my ears from wax build up. Try to exercise (which fixes many things), eat a balanced diet. Still, there are good days and bad days. Sometimes the TV is on volume 10, other days it needs to be volume 30 for me hear.

I know there is much study happening in the UK and only a small bit in the US. It would be great if the current organizations got together to share notes, studies and research and we could move toward a cure. Like cancer, the medical field probably won't do that, but it becomes another income stream. But we can hope. Coping involves changing your mental focus to the positives in your life and surroundings. Not focusing on the tinnitus. When you focus on the tinnitus, it overtakes you, controls you, and you most often fall prey to emotional problems and behavior that upsets your life. Be strong in mind to keep yourself going as a positive influence in life. Thanks for reading. Until next time.

 

[glynis]

@Dennis McCorkle ,
What a lovely read of your tinnitus journey from a young age and your big accident as a child that must have been awful for you with mouth wired up .
You have a lovely writing style

Love glynis

 

[jay777]

@Dennis McCorkle 112db and you work, my hat's off to you

 

[fran dana]

You seem very calm to have such an intrusive condition (in a very good way). the way you told your life story I liked it. I hope you keep sharing !

 

[Bill Bauer]

Could it be that your tinnitus got louder as a result of you not protecting your ears from loud noises?