Hi guys, again. I'm sorry because I post a lot, and my case is a joke compared with the people with actual severe T and H that post here, so I feel somewhat like a little girl ranting. But the fact is that in the last three weeks I've developed a moderate to severe depression, according to a friend who is in his fourth year of his psychology degree, so I trust him.
I know the obvious answer to this post... go and seek professional help, but this is something I have not at my reach right now, I am working overseas and the language is an enormous barrier for this kind of medical support. I plan to visit one in the next few months if the depression does not lift. What I'm looking for is for people's experience while dealing with depression but not taking any AD. I suspect that part of this is due to clonazepam withdrawal, because the t is as usual, very low baseline and nasty spikes every 2-3 days. I was doing fine in the summer but now is just unbearable, the depression is overwhelming and I have lost interest in almost everything except staying in bed, trying to close my eyes and relax. It might sound weird, but when in bed, the noise is the same but I don't care about it, I feel relaxed and somewhat isolated from the world (kind of habituated? sounds are really bothersome during the day, but not in the night).
I am in my 29th month of this suffering. I have had good and bad months, I was almost habituated not so long ago and the noise was actually softer, but since the withdrawal started, is bothersome, anxiety ruins everything, mix a bit of insomnia and you have depression as a result, it's not a nice combo.
I've been battling with OCD since I was a teenager, and 3 years ago I got "cured", after a very good psychologist helped me. There are some other users in the forum with ocd and they're not doing well coping with t, it's really difficult to forget or ignore the sound when you are obsessive and you, or your brain, who knows, sees t as a threat. I mean, I feel like I could lose my job, my family and everything due to the sound. It's by far the biggest threat I have faced in my life. For now, it has given me depression, an addiction to klonopin, loss of interest in many things and a sense of hopelessness and helplessness. The words "it's for life" "there is no cure" and "be careful with everything" are in my head 24/7. I know that most people naturally habituated, but, first, you need to stop viewing this as a threat, and it's not my case. Something has to change, and I don't know where to start. I'm going through tough times, it's not pleasant at all, and I dream with silence and quietness... years ago I really enjoyed laying in bed, in silence, and just thinking, now this is almost impossible and I am very frustrated. The most overwhelming thought is that "this is forever". Probably is a consequence of my depression, who knows.
Summarizing, the point of this post is, has anybody got benefit from psychotherapy for depression? I don't want to risk taking an AD, I had a previous bad experience with sertraline and worsening my t is beyond my worst fears, I can't risk it, not now. Probably after ending withdrawal things might improve, but who knows. My principal objective right now is to change my mindset, but it's autumn, almost no light, no family support, demotivation at work, and lots of frustration for everything.
I know the obvious answer to this post... go and seek professional help, but this is something I have not at my reach right now, I am working overseas and the language is an enormous barrier for this kind of medical support. I plan to visit one in the next few months if the depression does not lift. What I'm looking for is for people's experience while dealing with depression but not taking any AD. I suspect that part of this is due to clonazepam withdrawal, because the t is as usual, very low baseline and nasty spikes every 2-3 days. I was doing fine in the summer but now is just unbearable, the depression is overwhelming and I have lost interest in almost everything except staying in bed, trying to close my eyes and relax. It might sound weird, but when in bed, the noise is the same but I don't care about it, I feel relaxed and somewhat isolated from the world (kind of habituated? sounds are really bothersome during the day, but not in the night).
I am in my 29th month of this suffering. I have had good and bad months, I was almost habituated not so long ago and the noise was actually softer, but since the withdrawal started, is bothersome, anxiety ruins everything, mix a bit of insomnia and you have depression as a result, it's not a nice combo.
I've been battling with OCD since I was a teenager, and 3 years ago I got "cured", after a very good psychologist helped me. There are some other users in the forum with ocd and they're not doing well coping with t, it's really difficult to forget or ignore the sound when you are obsessive and you, or your brain, who knows, sees t as a threat. I mean, I feel like I could lose my job, my family and everything due to the sound. It's by far the biggest threat I have faced in my life. For now, it has given me depression, an addiction to klonopin, loss of interest in many things and a sense of hopelessness and helplessness. The words "it's for life" "there is no cure" and "be careful with everything" are in my head 24/7. I know that most people naturally habituated, but, first, you need to stop viewing this as a threat, and it's not my case. Something has to change, and I don't know where to start. I'm going through tough times, it's not pleasant at all, and I dream with silence and quietness... years ago I really enjoyed laying in bed, in silence, and just thinking, now this is almost impossible and I am very frustrated. The most overwhelming thought is that "this is forever". Probably is a consequence of my depression, who knows.
Summarizing, the point of this post is, has anybody got benefit from psychotherapy for depression? I don't want to risk taking an AD, I had a previous bad experience with sertraline and worsening my t is beyond my worst fears, I can't risk it, not now. Probably after ending withdrawal things might improve, but who knows. My principal objective right now is to change my mindset, but it's autumn, almost no light, no family support, demotivation at work, and lots of frustration for everything.