@kevin b
I am struggling for 20 months with the question whether I have a clinical depression or a reactive depression in result of T. I had a "burnout" with total exhaustion, migraines, vertigo causing health anxiety. And this health anxiety caused T. So I have also to deal with T and depression/anxiety. I am sure, if there would be no T, many things would be easier to handle. But high tension makes things difficult.
When I was in a clinic after T onset, I filled out forms about depression and there was no sign of depression. So therefore I think it is reactive. Nevertheless, if reactive or clinical doesn't matter. A depression is a depression. Therefore I know what you mean. You want it to stop and feel happy again. You live your life, do things that distract you, follow your hobbies etc. But the sadness does not leave. I myself haven't found a way out of this yet. As soon as I feel a little bit better, T pulls me down again. So handling both, depression and T, is very, very difficult - even on mild T days.
Nevertheless, compared to T onset, I am better. I have no longer panic attacks, can sit still longer, anxiety goes down, can work partly. Of course I want to be 100% fully functional. It is a long journey and high mountain to be climbed.