I am sorry you are struggling ((((hugs))))
I have experienced habituation (reaction and perception). It is a real thing.
Unfortunately, I have become unhabituated since October 2021, but hopefully I can trick my brain into thinking the noise no longer matters again.
I had a relapse in my tinnitus in 2020. I suspect the culprit is perimenopause. I took several months off work and spent most of my days just trying to cope and looking for answers/solutions. Melt down after melt down ...
In the end, I realised it wasn't going away, and I had to force myself to return to work and give rehabituation a chance.
At the time, I had caring responsibilities for my aunty (who has since died), and concerns about a cousin's heart surgery. So these things, and work, must have somehow distracted me sufficiently enough to trick my brain into believing that I wasn't under attack anymore.
I can reassure you that once you habituate, life returns to near normal. It was as good as a cure to me. I no longer felt like I was scraping through the days, just trying to cope with the noise. I had my life back again.
I have always been a worrier. OCD since 2013. I believe dealing with the panic/anxiety is the first step to reclaiming your life back.
This is why I am doing EMDR. So far, we have spent the last 3 sessions discussing my past traumas as a way of discovering how I am wired up, and how this impacts on how I respond to my tinnitus now. The therapist suggested to me yesterday that my OCD is an obstacle to my rehabituation and that addressing this may help facilitate adaptation.
Of course, I just want the head and ear noise to eff off. But, if I can learn to simply 'not care' then to me, that is OK.
On that note, I will say that long before I met my tinnitus in 2013, I remember hearing a very faint, barely audible sound whenever I put earplugs in at night. I used to think it was normal, quite liked listening to what i thought sounded like nature. It never bothered me at all, and had no idea that this was tinnitus.
On days when you think your brain can't ignore the noise because it is too loud, think of this. I had severe nausea back in 2020 after trialling some Cilantro. It laid me up on the couch for about a week. I felt really unwell. The tinnitus, which was a problem at the time, somehow became a non-issue whilst I was ill. I lay in the quiet trying to breathe through the waves of nausea, and the tinnitus was the last thing I could think of at the time.
A few weeks ago, I had a fall at home (I am a klutz) on the wet floor boards. I landed on my left knee. Do you think I was aware of my tinnitus when I was on my way down to collide with the floor, or when I lay there on the floor, clutching my knee in agony after impact?
My cousin experienced a sudden unilateral hearing loss several years ago. Initially, misdiagnosed with MD, but thought instead to be caused by a viral infection. Years later, she is living a very full and happy life. The tinnitus is the least of her troubles. I asked her how she managed to habituate, and she said that it was partly because of her personality, but also her attention was on surviving a 20 year drought (they were farming crops at the time), raising kids, paying bills etc... She was forced to keep putting one foot in front of the other because she had so much on her plate. I guess this helped to push her tinnitus to the back of the queue...
A close friend of mine, whom I met here about a year and half ago, has now habituated to LOUD tinnitus, with a background of anxiety and panic. She hears a couple of different sounds, high frequency, which are reactive, and yet she no longer reacts to her tinnitus. The turning point for her I think was: 1. chronic pain condition and 2. returning to work - getting busy and distracted. I saw a dramatic shift in her when she returned to work and found other things to distract her from the tinnitus. She says now she would rather not have it, but is now experiencing chunks of time where she is no longer aware of the tinnitus.
You would have found the Back to Silence thread on here, but i find Terry's story inspirational; particularly since his tinnitus was so chronic. In his posts, he is teaching us attention shifting.
I think I have mentioned my friend
@Samantha R, who has experienced a 'cure' from LDN (which I know you are already taking) for what she believes was inflammation secondary to her hormones. She has her life back.
I hope this helps.
Member
