Question is what you lose on the road when driving your defect Ferrari. If this condition makes you sad, frustrated, lonely, unhappy, depressive, anxious... how should your wife (in this example my wife) continue with this for months, years, until the end of life?
I give you an example: I do not talk about T with my wife anymore (for four weeks now), but of course she sees in my face how I suffer. She asked me this morning how I could hear T above the loud fan in my PC. I was laughing a little bit, frustrated. And she became directly angry. So I did not say anything anymore. My T is 14-15 kHz, maybe 2-3 tones, loud and oscillating. Much higher and louder than my PC fan. Whole head is buzzing.
And people tell me, change your attitude, do CBT, do TRT, do this, do that. And if you have done it and you still suffer, it is my own failure. Yes, I am a failure.
But on the positive side I can say that yesterday was a better day. My T was a little bit lower. Still loud, but I could function much better. Today is the standard back. I do my things, make it through another day. But I have dark thoughts. Who wants to have such a suffering husband, father and son? And again, I change my thoughts into a positive direction, but it is so difficult. Every day. No relief.
And I tell everyone, also the ones who do not want to hear it and tell always the opposite: Loudness matters.