Does the Energy Come Back?

Telis

Telis

Member
Author
Hall of Fame
Jun 26, 2014
2,264
Tinnitus Since
11/2013
Cause of Tinnitus
Drugs barotrauma
#1
I am exhausted, I mean totally exhausted. I have had T for 7 months. Went from full of energy and zest for life, to someone that has a hard time doing the simplest of things. Even picking up after myself is a challenge. I try and hide being tired from people as I look lazy.

I had a fast pace on the go career which is now done because of T. I pace the house, go for walks with my dog when I can. Everything else seems tough. I was going out with friends here and there at the start, now I find it just kills me.

This thing is sucking the life out of me as time goes on. The screeching noise hurts my head, I battle it every second .

Anyone have this total lack of energy and have it come back?
 
#2
Telis said:
I am exhausted, I mean totally exhausted. I have had T for 7 months. Went from full of energy and zest for life, to someone that has a hard time doing the simplest of things. Even picking up after myself is a challenge. I try and hide being tired from people as I look lazy.

I had a fast pace on the go career which is now done because of T. I pace the house, go for walks with my dog when I can. Everything else seems tough. I was going out with friends here and there at the start, now I find it just kills me.

This thing is sucking the life out of me as time goes on. The screeching noise hurts my head, I battle it every second .

Anyone have this total lack of energy and have it come back?
Click to expand...
Telis, don't fight against it.
You cannot win. It is part of you, like my T is part of me.
I know how hard this is. I also still struggle. But things will get better.
Do you have someone in your family who can speak with?
Once you cope with T, you will continue your career.
There are many who got used to T.
So we will.
 
#3
Im having a tough time, my family doesn't want to hear about it so I hide it. If I talk about it, I just get a look like I'm crazy. Or I'm being negative. Or maybe you're being dramatic. Or go to the doctor if it's bothering you. This is the response I get. I'm sure I'm not the only one here, this is a isolating condition. There aren't really people that get it unless they have it. And even some people that have it to a lesser degree really don't understand it. Fuck this condition. My life is not my life anymore. Just like that, I'm some poor sucker that can barely get through the day.

Don't even have the energy to take my girl out for dinner, or try and pretend like I'm watching a movie with her. I tell her I'm busy or have the flu, anything but my T is getting me down. She doesn't want to hear it either, everyone is sick of it including me. I keep getting told that I need to move on now, enough is enough!

Sorry about being negative, I'm a strong person but this thing is giving me a beat down. I question most days if this is a life I want to live for the next 40 years. That's a hell of a long time to hear this unbearable noise.

Martin69 said:
Telis, don't fight against it.
You cannot win. It is part of you, like my T is part of me.
I know how hard this is. I also still struggle. But things will get better.
Do you have someone in your family who can speak with?
Once you cope with T, you will continue your career.
There are many who got used to T.
So we will.
Click to expand...
 
#4
Dear Telis,

the answer to your question is YES. The energy can come back. But for that, you have to take the matter seriously and enter an "acceptance" mode.

Currently, the T is taking a lot of your attention and energy. This tires the mind. Depression also. You need to get out of this vicious cycle.

I remember when T first started in 2007, I couldn't sleep. I had an infant baby and I couldn't take care of her. I didn't do anything, didn't eat and felt depressed all the time. I understand very well where you're coming from.

You are the most important person in your life. You have to take care of yourself. Eat well, sleep well, exercise... yes those are good points. But you also need to do things that you like, despite T. Have an evening out with friends or your spouse if you have one, go shopping, and indulge.

What makes you happy? Identify things that you enjoy in general and do them.

Paying attention to T sucks. I know it's hard but try to consciously defocus from it. If you hear it, ok fine, go back to whatever you were doing and tell yourself SCREW T.

I mentionned before that I work in a call center. I wear a headset. In my headset, my T can always be heard because of the ventilation system which is on the same frequency. Despite that, I have been able to work for hours without paying any attention to it. If I focus on my work, the conversations I have with the customers or my coworkers, I can work and enjoy a normal day even if T is there. But before I reached that point, it took me a few weeks and I had to consciously avoid listening to my T.

When you enter a new cycle, the cycle where you start paying less and less attention to T and more attention to the rest of your life, you may notice that things are getting better and that the T just fades in the background. This worked for me as well as accepting that T is permanent.

T filled 90% of my life 2 months ago and now, it's more like 10%. As I have entered this new positive cycle, my T has been decreasing in volume (well maybe this is the way I perceive it because at night, it seems to be the same) and I've recovered most of my energy. I feel like myself again and you can to.

Hugs :)
 
#5
Also @Telis... why are you fighting something that you can't change? The best way to fight it is to pay as little attention to it as possible.
 
#7
@Telis, that is great...at the beginning, of course, it's hard but as time passes, it will become easier...

My thoughts are with you.
 
#8
Martin69 said:
Telis, don't fight against it.
You cannot win. It is part of you, like my T is part of me.
I know how hard this is. I also still struggle. But things will get better.
Do you have someone in your family who can speak with?
Once you cope with T, you will continue your career.
There are many who got used to T.
So we will.
Click to expand...
That's poetry right there.
 
#12
valeri said:
@I who love music

How do you apply your technique to ever changing tinnitus?
Click to expand...
I apply the technique to my response to my tinnitus.
I was so worn out from years of listening to it. Now I don't hear it, unless I want to. Well once in a while, once every few days I hear it and that's when I measure my response. I'm done measuring my T. Actually my ever changing T has settled down to a steady sound now that I don't hear most of the time. This is an amazing technique.
 
#13
I who love music said:
I apply the technique to my response to my tinnitus.
I was so worn out from years of listening to it. Now I don't hear it, unless I want to. Well once in a while, once every few days I hear it and that's when I measure my response. I'm done measuring my T. Actually my ever changing T has settled down to a steady sound now that I don't hear most of the time. This is an amazing technique.
Click to expand...

What do you mean by technique of response to my tinnitus?
 
#16
when i find the power lead to my laptop i intend on elaborating on this in a seperate thread.
I was very low both in spirit and energy before i got tinnitus. The tinnitus only made things worse. I was depressed about the t for about a month. while researching tinnitus online i realized it's probably not going to leave. And one day, while still feeling depressed about it, i decided to lie to myself. I figured i only have one option. And that option is to live the best i can with it. So from that day on i lied and told myself the tinnitus isn't bothering me so much, and that i can cope with it fine. I carried on doing the things i loved, even though i was enjoying them less.
After a week or so things did start improving. For real. Apart from the odd wobble i've never looked back. I have honestly kept dealing with it better. Now i often get a few hours a few times a day, where i don't hear it at all.
And mine is a loud constant screech. Louder than everything.
Talking about it probably wont help much. It's a very isolating problem, as no one else can see it or hear it.
So you need to deal with it on your own. Drag yourself up and start lying to yourself. Tell yourself, and everyone else around you that you are coping with it a lot better. Pretend your fine, and after a while i'm sure it will become a reality.
I'm sure about one thing. Moping around, boring people with your problem and wishing it away will do nothing.
So start dealing with it head on. Start lying and stay strong.
 
#18
BobDigi said:
when i find the power lead to my laptop i intend on elaborating on this in a seperate thread.
I was very low both in spirit and energy before i got tinnitus. The tinnitus only made things worse. I was depressed about the t for about a month. while researching tinnitus online i realized it's probably not going to leave. And one day, while still feeling depressed about it, i decided to lie to myself. I figured i only have one option. And that option is to live the best i can with it. So from that day on i lied and told myself the tinnitus isn't bothering me so much, and that i can cope with it fine. I carried on doing the things i loved, even though i was enjoying them less.
After a week or so things did start improving. For real. Apart from the odd wobble i've never looked back. I have honestly kept dealing with it better. Now i often get a few hours a few times a day, where i don't hear it at all.
And mine is a loud constant screech. Louder than everything.
Talking about it probably wont help much. It's a very isolating problem, as no one else can see it or hear it.
So you need to deal with it on your own. Drag yourself up and start lying to yourself. Tell yourself, and everyone else around you that you are coping with it a lot better. Pretend your fine, and after a while i'm sure it will become a reality.
I'm sure about one thing. Moping around, boring people with your problem and wishing it away will do nothing.
So start dealing with it head on. Start lying and stay strong.
Click to expand...

Brilliant post, fake it till you make it then (eventually) you're not faking anymore. You're not actually lying to yourself, you're deciding whats true and resetting your mind accordingly.
 
#20
valeri said:
Can you please explain how does:
I hear you and in scared! actually work to change your subconscious mind?
Isn't that a negative feed?
Click to expand...
I quit measuring my tinnitus. I quit saying, "I hear it, it's louder today." Etc....
I started measuring my response instead. "I hear it, I'm worried today."

I measure the emotion - not the T.

That's it.
It changed my life. I go all day and now actually hear my tinnitus 0 - 2 times a day. I used to hear it 40 - 50 times a day.
But if you're going to ask how this can or can't work, doubt it, or worse, check in on your T and measure it, you're doomed.
This isn't a trick, or positive thinking etc... This is a way to form new pathways in your brain. When you find yourself responding to your feelings less and less, you'll also notice you're hearing your T less and less. But if you are constantly checking on your T to see if it's louder or quieter, this won't work.
By using this technique, you'll soon notice you feel good. You'll feel happy and energetic, and you'll know it's because you're not listening to your T anymore and measuring it. You'll be listening to yourself describe your feelings about it instead - and that is not fatiguing or irritating, or fearsome. Soon, like me, you'll be amazed and find it difficult to describe the torment you had but the relief you'll then feel. I don't know how it works but it works for me. My T started in 1974 and I've tried a lot of cures, but this is without a doubt my real cure.
Good luck.
 
#21
valeri said:
Can you please explain how does:
I hear you and in scared! actually work to change your subconscious mind?
Isn't that a negative feed?
Click to expand...
I'm going to take another stab at your question.

I don't exactly why this works, but I'll try to explain why I think it works.
Before I discovered this technique I had a belief there was something I could do, or something I could eat, or something I could listen to that would make my tinnitus go away. I knew deep down that it was never going to go away. I've had it over 40 years. I know darn well my inner ears are damaged. I know exactly what I did to cause tinnitus. It was loud music.

Maybe just before I discovered this great technique, I admitted this to myself. I don't remember. Maybe that was the first step. But upon first reading about this technique I was excited that it could work. I never had tried dealing with my T head on like this. I spent years trying things and running from T, and worrying about it.
I think by telling myself how I feel when the T bothers me actually deflates the T. Again, I don't know how. At first, this was harder than it sounds. I felt the old habit of tinnitus measurement pulling on me. Maybe I simply formed a new habit. Or should I say, "Forced" a new habit?

Also worth mentioning is that I don't believe in magic, or hocus pocus, or miracle cures, or wishing, or simply having a positive outlook, or any of that stuff. I'm open to medical cures, acupressure, chiropractic, and cognitive behavioral therapy. Maybe this technique falls under the category of the latter.

Today I truly went all day until about 7 pm. At that time, I said to myself, "I hear it, it's boring me." That's how I responded to it today. I may or may not hear my T tomorrow. But I know this, I'll get up tomorrow morning and not have to measure my response first thing in the morning and that's a nice feeling. And I'll go about my business without T weighing on my mind. If I hear it, I'll tell myself how I feel about it and get on with my business.
Some people have said it's habituation. Some people say it's a new habit, or that I've stopped obsessing about it. Whatever it is, it's powerful, and it worked faster and better than I had hoped.
 
#22
Great post. The cognitive mechanics you're describing ties in with one of the hot topics in theory of consciousness research, namely "global workspace theory".

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Global_Workspace_Theory.

The conscious mind has to deal with a host of signals from the unconscious mind every second of the day.

Think of your conscious mind as being an enormous cave in pitch blackness. The cave is your global workspace.
Inside the cave is you; or to put it more simply your attention. The "you" carries a flashlight and constantly sweeps it across the cave illuminating all these signals one by one as they're in little alcoves like you see in crypts in horror movies.

Some of the alcoves have little doors on them that you have to open to see what's inside: they're your memories.

The rest are filled with concurrent signals from your senses and unconscious mind. "whats in this alcove? ah yes that's the signal from my olfactory system (a smell) . "What's in this one? ah yes the the sensation of my forearm on the table" As the flashlight sweeps across the cave it illuminates alcove after alcove as you direct it across the walls of the cave.

So; you're in a dark cave. Your looking in the alcoves, then all of a sudden...you hear a noise! What's the first thing you do?

Exactly.

You swing your flashlight (attention) around straight away to find out what the hell it is. The noise is the emotion your limbic brain ascribes to the signals in your alcoves. The bigger the emotion the louder the noise, the louder the noise the more attention you give it. It's your minds way of making you pay attention to things which are important to you. That's what emotions do.

Suppose you're crossing the road in a busy city with lots of people? No big deal, lots of noises coming in from all around you, then all of a sudden...a car horn. Boom, the alcove emits a loud noise, you spin round to see what it is, see it's Dr Nagler trying to run you down for wearing a pro LLLT t-shirt and straight away you leap out of the way of his Ferrari and you're saved. Relief!!!

The car horn was just another sound in the background, but... you paid attention to it as you're unconscious mind recognised it as being dangerous and made you pay attention to it.

Now tinnitus is a signal which sits in it's little alcove. How much emotional relevance would you want to give it if you didn't want to hear it? You see where I'm going with this...

Well we can't just flick a switch and turn it off, It's process which takes time (which is of course; Habituation.)

This is where IWLM's method comes in. Fortunately there is a feedback system from the conscious mind to the limbic system (which is why affirmations work) and IWLM's method uses this neural pathway to perform it's magic. Remember that these limbic system signals which attach to your sensory inputs are to attract your attention. Well, by acknowledging to your limbic brain that you're receiving the signal it's sending, and doing so in a "how you're feeling" about it way, then you're using the limbic systems own language to communicate with it; the language of emotion. You're saying "got you loud and clear; over and out" the limbic system has performed it's evolutionary remit and got a response from your conscious mind that the signal (your tinnitus) has been examined and found to be a false alarm. The flashlight swing on to the next nosiest thing.

Wonderful thing the brain.
 
#24
@Silvine @I who love music
Thanks for all your explanation here. This is excellent support and in my opinion the only way out of this.
Unfortunately I haven't sorted it out for my tinnitus yet. It perfectly makes sense when tinnitus is a little bit lower and there is a way ignoring it. But if tinnitus is 15 kHz or higher, loud and oscillating in the head, my body/brain reacts automatically with tension. On the conscious level, I try ignoring it, living my life like I would without tinnitus. But I don't have to listen for tinnitus. It is unmaskable, maybe the shower can cover it sometimes. Each bite spikes it even more, each step when I am running spikes it. No way found yet convincing my limbic system that this is not a threat. What a sh..
 
#25
@I who love music

What did your first day looked like when you started this technique?

Last night I was determent to start this morning. Upon waking loud t sent me straight away into a meltdown, fear, panic, anxiety....
There is no way I could have said: I hear you and I feel scared, or anxious or whatever.....
Fear of living like this forever comes as a tsunami, floods my life and desire to live:(

How did you stop the need to monitor?
All I ever think is tinnitus! It scares me to bits!

How do I come out of this black hole!
Thank you for taking time to respond, really appreciate it!

@Silvine
Thank you for your support as well, greatly appreciated even though I'm lost in this tinnitus maze:(
 
#26
Valeri, you don't have to live like this forever, it's impossible. Since I first got T I have read every single scholarly article on it and it's treatment. Over the last 6 month I can't keep up, the amount of research now is absolutely enormous and the reason being whoever finds a cure will most likely make sums running into the Billions of dollars.

You need to disassociate from your T anxiety and listen to it as an independent observer as if it's happening to someone else. The "Tsunami" will ebb back into the sea.

The worst case of T I ever heard of was a roadie who fell asleep drugged up on top of a loudspeaker for three and a half hours. He woke up permanently deaf in his left ear and 95 decibel full frequency T. 95 decibels is the same as a car horn at 8 feet. He habituated.
 
#27
Acclimatizing to tinnitus can be a slow, incremental process. It can also be a bit like a game of snakes and ladders, one in which a sudden descent down a snake - after a period in which you think you are getting somewhere - can leave a person feeling that they are now even lower on the board than the already bad place from which they started.

One thing that helped, in my case, was to immerse myself in the literature on the management of chronic pain, a near relative of tinnitus (if you don't have ear pain as well). Gradually, as I discovered how others recovered their zest for life, in spite of living with debilitating physical problems like rheumatoid arthritis, or the painful consequences of spinal injury, some of their wisdom percolated down into my unconscious and started to reclaim the territory that had been annexed by tinnitus and its attendant depression, despair, frustration and anger.

Mostly it involved looking at my thoughts and feelings rather than from them. This simple shift began to free me from the place where I felt stuck. A tiny bit of wiggle room opened up.

One moment in this process was what might be described as 'existential'. I can remember waking up one day to a screaming spike, which instantaneously set in motion the by now familiar emotions and ruminations that terminate in a sense of hopelessness. However, on this occasion, there was also, at some deep level, a recognition that I was actually making a choice in buying into and identifying with this psychological landscape. It's very hard to describe and things did not suddenly get better. But they did improve in a more linear fashion, and today I find tinnitus annoying and intrusive but not defining of my experience. Although it takes up a substantial part of the immediate auditory environment, I don't find it difficult to immerse myself in everyday, even mundane activities. This, in turn, frequently (though not always) has the effect of placing tinnitus below the level of my conscious awareness, so that I don't even notice it for long periods.

There's also a passive, almost lethargic element in all this. Although the tinnitus hasn't changed (or if it has, it is even louder), I can no longer bring myself to rise to the bait.

The books which I found helpful in getting to this point were these:

John Kabat-Zinn Full Catastrophe Living
Darlene Cohen Turning Suffering Inside Out
Vidyamala Burch Living Well With Pain and Illness
Mark Williams, John Teasdale, Zindel Segal and John Kabat-Zinn The Mindful Way Through Depression

For the moment, you may have to stoically endure your situation through gritted teeth. But I can assure you that there is a place to get to beyond this.
 

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