Dog Barking Woes

[Ludvik]

It's been 5 years since I first got tinnitus, and these past 5 years I've been able to learn to live with it. My tinnitus is unfortunately highly reactive and I have had multiple permanent spikes through out the years, so I try my best to protect myself.

My partner has wanted a dog pretty much through the duration of our relationship, and recently I finally caved - so we adopted a beautiful 2-year-old. I was hopeful that it would be a quiet dog, or the barks wouldn't be loud, and the first few weeks that was the case, we fell in love with her and it was a really beautiful few weeks.

But then her barking got worse, and unpredictable. After a couple particularly bad barks close to my ears I got a horrible spike. And then each day after more barks close by - more spikes. I was no longer safe to be in my home and secluded myself to my room, and venturing out to other parts of the house I have to wear earmuffs.

It's been 3 weeks now and my spike unfortunately has not gone down to baseline (but it's not as bad as the first few days, fortunately).

Perhaps due to my ears being compromised right now, or due to the overprotection that I need to do right now, even through my ear muffs her barks have caused more small spikes. I've booked AirBnbs to remove myself from the situation to try recover.

I've spoken to my partner about rehoming her, and she doesn't want to. And this sounds insensitive of her but I do understand where she's coming from, she's already fallen in love with the dog and has become attached, honestly so did I.

She's hopeful it can work out, and that the dog can be trained, she's just really hopeful for this beautiful future with all 3 of us. We've reached out to 3 trainers, and are currently working with one of them who is also a dog behaviour consultant to try resolve this. But honestly the barking is just getting even worse, it's even overwhelming my partner by how bad it's got. It's unsafe for me, and the only option I have to keep the dog is for me to move out - and it breaks my heart.

I've spoken to her about this, and initially the idea of me moving out of course made her very distraught, but as the barking got worse the situation just become too dire. I'm completely isolated and miserable in my room, I can't even enjoy the company of my dog. And so I've decided to prioritize my safety and in the process of looking for a new home - I have to look out for my safety.

My partner is of course heartbroken and feels absolute horrible, she cries nearly everyday (as do I), but she still continues to hope it can work out and that she can be trained while we're apart. And although I do understand where she's coming from and wish for the same thing, I can't help but feel bitter about the whole situation. I feel that my health was risked, and continues to be risked for a dog we've only known for a little while. There's a lot of anger and sadness in me, it feels like this whole situation tainted the relationship, and does make me question it. I understand I'm in a really negative headspace right now and unable to see a positive outcome in this, but it is very hard to be hopeful and optimistic. Maybe she is right and there exists that future where it all works out.

I've reached out to a psychologist, and we are having our first session today, and I hope I can find some peace and resolution in our sessions.

Sorry for the huge vent, thank you if you read this far. I feel very lost.

 

[PeteJ]

Maybe I missed it but you didn't provide any specific info about your dog or context.

Big dog or small dog?

It constantly barks? That doesn't make sense. There must be patterns, situations or triggers. It didn't bark for a few weeks and then suddenly it does and it's frequently? It sounds like something drastically changed to trigger it.

My dog sometimes barks and it's a bad high pitched bark that bothers my ears. Some barks cause me ear pain but it used to be far worse. My tinnitus can also be reactive.

I think your ears/problem can adapt somewhat (well, mine did) but there can still be tinnitus spikes and maybe ear pain after random barks.

As for your dog right now, you need to examine the situations leading to the barking and correct the dog. Professional trainers costs money and although good, there are dog training videos out there. Inevitably, there are videos dealing with frequent barking/barking problem dogs.

A sharp "NO" and examining what leads to barking is necessary.

E.g. a dog barking at other dogs or people outside is different from a dog barking in the house from lack of attention. Anyway, see if some videos help to give you some ideas.

 

[Juan]

She's hopeful it can work out, and that the dog can be trained, she's just really hopeful for this beautiful future with all 3 of us. We've reached out to 3 trainers, and are currently working with one of them who is also a dog behaviour consultant to try resolve this. But honestly the barking is just getting even worse, it's even overwhelming my partner by how bad it's got. It's unsafe for me, and the only option I have to keep the dog is for me to move out - and it breaks my heart.

Barking is an objectively loud sound, a horrible sound indeed.

Unless the dog is trained, better stay away from it...

My neighbour has one of those horrible small dogs that bark in a high pitch. I use earplugs all the time when it starts barking in the corridor...

 

[Lane]

Hi @Ludvik -- I feel for you and your difficult situation. The first thought"about possible relief was about "debarking", a devocalization surgery I heard about many years ago, though know very little about. I just ran across the following article, which might give you some insights and/or ideas. All the Best...

ALTERNATIVES TO DEBARKING SURGERY

 

[DT_N_DA_CLUB]

What is the breed of the dog?

 

[Exit]

What is the breed of the dog?

It's a barking breed apparently...

Big dogs are easier to shut up.

All dogs can be trained.

2-3 years old is probably the worst age, but still possible.

 

[Ludvik]

Thanks for the response all.

In hindsight I should have done more research on what kind of dog would give the most success, we went the adoption route where specific breeds would be harder to find.

She is a mixed breed, unsure of specifics but looks to have Australian Kelpie in her which is a herding breed. Shes small, and around 2.

After some reading this kind of dog definitely seems to be a barker. I don't mind spending money on a trainer and we are working with one right now, but from all the research I'm doing it seems like this is a really long journey. I incurred another huge spike today, even with my strongest earmuffs her barks Pierce through.

 

[Vincent R]

I incurred another huge spike today, even with my strongest earmuffs her barks Pierce through.

Time for double protection, I think. I recommend Moldex foam earplugs as they are comfortable to wear for long periods of time. You're never going to get ideal protection with only earmuffs, no matter how bulky.

In best case scenario, you might be able to make the dog bark less. But you can't count on it to stop barking all together. You're going to have to wear hearing protection for however long you're around the little noise terrorist.

Your girlfriend unleashed hell on you merely because she couldn't settle with a cat instead of a dog. Moving out seems like the correct decision to me.

 

[object16]

It won't work. I can't get anywhere near a barking dog, in the outdoors, such as within 30-50 feet. Having to wear hearing protection will give you serious hyperacusis and permanently damage your hearing system. Plus the tension would be ridiculous.

 

[Stacken77]

Hi @object16.

I can't get anywhere near a barking dog, in the outdoors, such as within 30-50 feet.

I'm just curious, why is that? Hyperacusis?

Having to wear hearing protection will give you serious hyperacusis and permanently damage your hearing system.

Can you just elaborate on this? I believe protection 24/7 for some time can cause long lasting effects, but surely not irreversible damage to the hearing system? Since there's no structural damage done, in contrast to an acoustic trauma.

Wishing you well,
Stacken

 

[Juan]

I'm just curious, why is that?

With hyperacusis just the barking would produce vibration on your head, it's like sound going through your whole brain, it's awful.

 

[Forever hopeful]

It's been 5 years since I first got tinnitus, and these past 5 years I've been able to learn to live with it. My tinnitus is unfortunately highly reactive and I have had multiple permanent spikes through out the years, so I try my best to protect myself.

My partner has wanted a dog pretty much through the duration of our relationship, and recently I finally caved - so we adopted a beautiful 2-year-old. I was hopeful that it would be a quiet dog, or the barks wouldn't be loud, and the first few weeks that was the case, we fell in love with her and it was a really beautiful few weeks.

But then her barking got worse, and unpredictable. After a couple particularly bad barks close to my ears I got a horrible spike. And then each day after more barks close by - more spikes. I was no longer safe to be in my home and secluded myself to my room, and venturing out to other parts of the house I have to wear earmuffs.

It's been 3 weeks now and my spike unfortunately has not gone down to baseline (but it's not as bad as the first few days, fortunately).

Perhaps due to my ears being compromised right now, or due to the overprotection that I need to do right now, even through my ear muffs her barks have caused more small spikes. I've booked AirBnbs to remove myself from the situation to try recover.

I've spoken to my partner about rehoming her, and she doesn't want to. And this sounds insensitive of her but I do understand where she's coming from, she's already fallen in love with the dog and has become attached, honestly so did I.

She's hopeful it can work out, and that the dog can be trained, she's just really hopeful for this beautiful future with all 3 of us. We've reached out to 3 trainers, and are currently working with one of them who is also a dog behaviour consultant to try resolve this. But honestly the barking is just getting even worse, it's even overwhelming my partner by how bad it's got. It's unsafe for me, and the only option I have to keep the dog is for me to move out - and it breaks my heart.

I've spoken to her about this, and initially the idea of me moving out of course made her very distraught, but as the barking got worse the situation just become too dire. I'm completely isolated and miserable in my room, I can't even enjoy the company of my dog. And so I've decided to prioritize my safety and in the process of looking for a new home - I have to look out for my safety.

My partner is of course heartbroken and feels absolute horrible, she cries nearly everyday (as do I), but she still continues to hope it can work out and that she can be trained while we're apart. And although I do understand where she's coming from and wish for the same thing, I can't help but feel bitter about the whole situation. I feel that my health was risked, and continues to be risked for a dog we've only known for a little while. There's a lot of anger and sadness in me, it feels like this whole situation tainted the relationship, and does make me question it. I understand I'm in a really negative headspace right now and unable to see a positive outcome in this, but it is very hard to be hopeful and optimistic. Maybe she is right and there exists that future where it all works out.

I've reached out to a psychologist, and we are having our first session today, and I hope I can find some peace and resolution in our sessions.

Sorry for the huge vent, thank you if you read this far. I feel very lost.

I'm so sorry to read this. This is quite the conundrum.

I know you both love the dog, but some dog breeds bark very loudly and all the training in the world may not help.

I'm surprised by the fact that your partner seems to be placing a lot of emphasis on keeping the dog versus keeping your tinnitus stable. I'm assuming your partner does not have tinnitus, otherwise I would think that they would understand, especially in light of the fact that you now need to move out. Certainly don't know all the details but it sounds like you're either going to need to rehome the dog or you and your partner may not be able to live together. Perhaps a compromise would be that you rehome this dog and get another breed that isn't known to bark. Plenty of people on this site have dogs. I've seen many a picture.

I definitely recommend you do what you need to do to protect your ears. As we all know, tinnitus can and does get worse. You need to do what you need to do to ensure that your ears do not get worse as a result of the dog and further compromise your quality of life.

I have often considered getting a dog. My kids and my husband want one. But I'm always afraid of the barking. I have a friend who has five small dogs. Like a little tiny teacup ones. They have the most obnoxious bark on the planet. I went to visit her and when I opened the door, all five dogs barked so loudly I measured them at 110 decibels. I think she and her husband are going to go deaf from these dogs. Had I known I would've put my earplugs in before I walked into the house, but she was visiting from Florida and I didn't realize she had her dogs with her. Anyway I got a spike that lasted like 2 1/2 weeks.

Best of luck to you and I hope things work out.

 

[TinaRuns]

I understand loving animals very very much. I also know that loving your partner should come first. You have tried to resolve the situation. At this point, despite being a huge animal lover myself, I really think the right partner would understand that your life comes first. Since she wants to stay connected to the dog, could one of her friends or family adopt the dog, so that she could still visit? If not, I'm afraid it's time for either goodbye or "visit me when you can without the dog."

 

[object16]

I did in my own hearing with overuse of hearing protection. It does not sound right. How does protection cause damage? Your hearing is in a state of balance and it can protect itself. With overprotection it "turns up the volume" meaning your intrinsic protection goes down. Eventually you lose your ability to protect yourself and now you've got hyperacusis. I double checked this with an audiologist in New Holland Michigan.

Wearing hearing protection 24/7 is what ended up giving me tinnitus hell plus severe hyperacusis.

 

[Exit]

Thanks for the response all.

In hindsight I should have done more research on what kind of dog would give the most success, we went the adoption route where specific breeds would be harder to find.

She is a mixed breed, unsure of specifics but looks to have Australian Kelpie in her which is a herding breed. Shes small, and around 2.

After some reading this kind of dog definitely seems to be a barker. I don't mind spending money on a trainer and we are working with one right now, but from all the research I'm doing it seems like this is a really long journey. I incurred another huge spike today, even with my strongest earmuffs her barks Pierce through.

A bigger dog is often less barky / easier to train. It depends, the small ones are usually nervous because of their size so they'll bark.

Give the dog to someone you know, that way you'll know the dog will have a good life and she can visit.

 

[Brian P]

Why did you get the damn dog!?

 

[Exit]

Why did you get the damn dog!?

His wife/girlfriend wanted a doggie...

 

[Brian P]

His wife/girlfriend wanted a doggie...

As usual. Great idea.

 

[Brian P]

Put your partner out with the fucking dog. I can't believe you adopted a mobile alarm with raging tinnitus. That takes brains. He's surprised a dog barks… next thing he will be shocked that babies cry.

 

[tpj]

Thanks for the response all.

In hindsight I should have done more research on what kind of dog would give the most success, we went the adoption route where specific breeds would be harder to find.

She is a mixed breed, unsure of specifics but looks to have Australian Kelpie in her which is a herding breed. Shes small, and around 2.

After some reading this kind of dog definitely seems to be a barker. I don't mind spending money on a trainer and we are working with one right now, but from all the research I'm doing it seems like this is a really long journey. I incurred another huge spike today, even with my strongest earmuffs her barks Pierce through.

Maybe you should show your girlfriend the Suicidal thread. Get rid of her or the dog. The risks for tinnitus sufferers is too great.

 

[Kriszti]

Put your partner out with the fucking dog. I can't believe you adopted a mobile alarm with raging tinnitus. That takes brains. He's surprised a dog barks… next thing he will be shocked that babies cry.

And still you don't need to be this rude about it. He probably knew that dogs bark, but was not aware how loud they can actually be.

 

[PeteJ]

A bigger dog is often less barky / easier to train. It depends, the small ones are usually nervous because of their size so they'll bark.

Give the dog to someone you know, that way you'll know the dog will have a good life and she can visit.

Yeah, if it can't be trained not to bark, he better arrange something fast. If he bonds with it, it might be difficult later (you'd be surprised). E.g. a relative looking after it but that could be difficult to arrange.

However, in my country or province, at least, it's difficult to find a dog, even rescues. With the COVID-19 craziness, people feel lonely or want a canine companion.

My small dog barks but only rarely now. Yes, the bark is piercing and bothers me. But, many small dogs' barks are far worse.

I find bigger dogs' barks aren't nearly as bad - something about the lower, deeper sound (lower frequency, maybe)? Just don't get a German Shepherd since they frequently bark. My dog and I often pass a Doberman which is often confined to its backyard. It occasionally barks at people or dogs (mostly) that go too close to its fence.

Its bark doesn't bother me at all.

 

[Exit]

Yeah, if it can't be trained not to bark, he better arrange something fast. If he bonds with it, it might be difficult later (you'd be surprised). E.g. a relative looking after it but that could be difficult to arrange.

However, in my country or province, at least, it's difficult to find a dog, even rescues. With the COVID-19 craziness, people feel lonely or want a canine companion.

My small dog barks but only rarely now. Yes, the bark is piercing and bothers me. But, many small dogs' barks are far worse.

I find bigger dogs' barks aren't nearly as bad - something about the lower, deeper sound (lower frequency, maybe)? Just don't get a German Shepherd since they frequently bark. My dog and I often pass a Doberman which is often confined to its backyard. It occasionally barks at people or dogs (mostly) that go too close to its fence.

Its bark doesn't bother me at all.

The German Shepherds are the quiet ones not affected by other dogs.

But German Shepherds can be awful if they're "protecting" the property... Same with those Dobermans

Big dogs' dark barks are nicer but I imagine inside a house they can really rattle the walls

In short, get a rabbit and boil those carrots.

 

[PeteJ]

Maybe you should show your girlfriend the Suicidal thread. Get rid of her or the dog. The risks for tinnitus sufferers is too great.

Lol. Yet, people here are asking if they should go to concerts (which means they already decided) and they are willing to get COVID-19 shots despite several threads here of people (HERE) claiming a shot worsened their tinnitus.

Yeah, a dog is what you should all avoid! That's dangerous!!!

 

[PeteJ]

@Ludvik,
I doubt that your gf will want to part with her dog. From your post - she wanted one for a while so I advise you to consult trainers and can't stress enough to watch dog training videos to stop barking (control behaviors) - and those videos are free!

Reward instances in which you expect barking but the dog doesn't - with treats and lots of praise. The dog should learn that barking is UNNECESSARY/UNDESIRABLE and not barking results in good things happening. The problem is the dog is small and wants to tell everyone, "I might be small but I mean business." It's difficult to train that instinct out of them.

It is peculiar why it didn't bark for 3 weeks and suddenly did, though.

 

[tpj]

Lol. Yet, people here are asking if they should go to concerts (which means they already decided) and they are willing to get COVID-19 shots despite several threads here of people (HERE) claiming a shot worsened their tinnitus.

Yeah, a dog is what you should all avoid! That's dangerous!!!

And what applies to dogs, applies to concerts and to any loud noise that could make tinnitus worse. I think Brian P summed it up when he described the dog as a mobile alarm.

 

[Tanni]

Put your partner out with the fucking dog. I can't believe you adopted a mobile alarm with raging tinnitus. That takes brains. He's surprised a dog barks… next thing he will be shocked that babies cry.

Stop taking your anger out on fellow sufferers.

 

[Tanni]

This thread is shocking, I'm really sorry @Ludvik. When people are suffering they often lash out and it is not a reflection on you.

I don't know much about dogs but I do know that people love them like family, so I'm really sorry you may have to give him up - that must be so hard on you both.

Many, many people with tinnitus have dogs and the barking isn't an issue; do you perhaps have a fear of the barking causing a spike, that might be playing into you then getting spikes?

If it definitely does cause spikes, it sounds like the dog will have to be rehomed. I'm sure your partner will understand, as you have at least tried.

Good luck with the training; I hope it works out.

 

[Luman]

I believe that there are dog training devices that make sounds that annoy dogs when they bark. I would look into something like that. I'd be a little hesitant to use a shock collar, but a sound isn't so cruel.

 

[Wrfortiscue]

Dog bark decibels can be around 100 dB and if you're like me you'll snuggle with them and they will just randomly bark loud next to your head. Had that happen several times with my former dogs.