I have another thread I just posted, but I think the really important thing I wanted to say got buried in everything I said.
My tinnitus fluctuates. And no, I don't mean like it's 4 / 10 for an hour and then 8 / 10 for the next. I mean it's like morse code. As in when it decides to click / rattle / turn on, it's almost impossible to ignore. And in the meantime, in the 3 - 4 seconds inbetween, it's fine. But at its worst, it rattles continually. It's not a steady tone; it's a RATTLE. If you asked me to frequency-match the tone, I can't. It's an atonal rattle sound.
To me, it seems absolutely impossible to habituate to this.
On top of that, I've seen what people have written about their "morse code" tinnitus. And it's EXTREMELY grim. The best I see is that people say that it's "ruined their lives", but they're still alive.
Let's be super, duper honest with ourselves here. Humans live a lot longer than probably 99% of the living creatures out there. Is it really so ridiculous to allow ourselves to live a lifespan closer to those other living creatures who lived 20 - 30 years and just lost their lives into the ether?
It just seems so unreal to me that people on this forum, actually LOTS of people on this forum, come forward and say "yeah I've dealt with this for years. It's ruined my life". I lose 100% of my hope when I see stuff like that. Any good, rational person would understand that a person who suffers so horrifically and completely should not be expected to endure extreme suffering and would probably be better off meeting their inevitable demise much sooner. I guess I honestly don't know how the suicide rate of tinnitus sufferers isn't extremely high, and I'm having a really hard time convincing myself not to join their ranks.
My tinnitus fluctuates. And no, I don't mean like it's 4 / 10 for an hour and then 8 / 10 for the next. I mean it's like morse code. As in when it decides to click / rattle / turn on, it's almost impossible to ignore. And in the meantime, in the 3 - 4 seconds inbetween, it's fine. But at its worst, it rattles continually. It's not a steady tone; it's a RATTLE. If you asked me to frequency-match the tone, I can't. It's an atonal rattle sound.
To me, it seems absolutely impossible to habituate to this.
On top of that, I've seen what people have written about their "morse code" tinnitus. And it's EXTREMELY grim. The best I see is that people say that it's "ruined their lives", but they're still alive.
Let's be super, duper honest with ourselves here. Humans live a lot longer than probably 99% of the living creatures out there. Is it really so ridiculous to allow ourselves to live a lifespan closer to those other living creatures who lived 20 - 30 years and just lost their lives into the ether?
It just seems so unreal to me that people on this forum, actually LOTS of people on this forum, come forward and say "yeah I've dealt with this for years. It's ruined my life". I lose 100% of my hope when I see stuff like that. Any good, rational person would understand that a person who suffers so horrifically and completely should not be expected to endure extreme suffering and would probably be better off meeting their inevitable demise much sooner. I guess I honestly don't know how the suicide rate of tinnitus sufferers isn't extremely high, and I'm having a really hard time convincing myself not to join their ranks.
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