I get feedback, as in my ear rings when something's pitch is too loud. It's like my ringing rises to match whatever it feels is too prominent of a sound. My right ear sounds distorted. It's almost as if I hear noises as they are, but I get a doubled over distortion. Almost as if the ear is saying it's taking on too much at the same time. I've never had the morse code tinnitus, but I do get transformer sounding tinnitus and hissing. Like having a dentist drill combined with a jumbo jet turbine. When it's hissing, it doesn't really bother me. When it squeals, it just makes me miserable. Now I've got this distortion and my ear drum feels like it kicks the bassdrum very hard. Bass seems extremely sensitive to me and I can feel the vibrations in my ear, which is novelty and annoying. That's why I think there is something going on with the bones or maybe the Tensor Tympani muscle that's causing an exacerbation of sound.
I appreciate the well wishes. Your T generally will go down in time, that's if it stays of course; which I naturally hope does not happen. You can't blame yourself for what happened. It was an honest mistake, just like mine. Common sense says to wear hearing protection when you shoot, but just like you, it was a lapse in judgment and I honestly just was so wrapped up in life problems, I completely spaced on it. Next thing I know, permanent tinnitus. The worst thing you can do is overreact to the problem. I understand, as I was extremely expedient and stressed, full of tears, and incredibly angry. However, in the early stages of T, it does you well to try and not focus too much on it. I know it sounds like bullshit, if you try to not recognize it as a threat, it has been scientifically shown to have a level of affect on the chances of it getting better. Reason why is that your brain is neuroplastic. Meaning it can adapt and physically re-wire itself to react in certain manners. It has to do with the Thalamus and the Amygdala. I can only tell you what I've read, but it may do you some good to research those two components of the brain and how they affect Tinnitus. If you recognize Tinnitus as a threat, your brain can actually perceive it as so, and put more focus to that threat. Just as our fight or flight mechanisms kick in if we're being attacked, our brain focuses and directs in a very specific manner in order to cater to what the body needs to do. So naturally, I advise that you seek help and see someone worth a damn (your typical ENT in my experience offers very little knowledge and a fuck all attitude about T), which is why I would suggest looking at UT Dallas among other institutions that specialize in the field and therefore have a REAL understanding of the research, processes, etc. that are occurring. Be adept, direct, assertive in your quest for answers, because as I learned early on, some doctors just A.) Don't care and B.) Don't like being asked questions that make them feel inferior and finally C.) Don't let them brush your questions by the wayside as several times I've had them try and placate rather than respond.
Stay up, stay hopeful, stay smart, and put some focus into learning about treatments and the field. Lastly, again...do NOT put too much stress into the threat of T as it can have a very REAL impact on your chances of it improving. I get where you're coming from, that initial holy shit, what's going on. I've got to solve this RIGHT NOW feeling. I had it, still have it to a lesser degree, but I try to approach things in a much less radical way than I had in the past. It's not me giving up, it is me re-positioning my strategy. And just like a business, sometimes I fall back into bad habits and get emotional, and it will happen. If you have further questions, feel free to shoot them my way. I'm not as much as an expert as many of the people on this forum, but I do have some insight and am more than happy to help. Also, I have somewhat of a brash opinion, so don't take it personally if I come off as mean or pissy sometimes. My previous posts are expressions of my frustration, not of my intellect. Have a good rest of your day and I hope to hear from you.
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