Encouragement Needed Today

[OnceUponaTime]

I have been on this forum for a while now and have made some nice online friendships over the years.

6.5 years now and all I can say is that it has changed my life immensely. It has been hard at times and other times is ok. It is like a roller coaster ride everyday. One does not know what is next. The way I feel, think, do things, act, etc has been changed in a good and bad way, both. I wish I had never met t. but wishful thinking is for farytales only.

Today my two young daugthers are going to their First ever Irish Step Dance Feis (competitons) in NYC and my 8 year old cried and cried because she wanted me to go with her and I couldn't. (over 1,000 people or more, loud music, etc) Why? How have I come to this place? Thankfully my husband steps up and takes the girls everywhere, but I want to be there too. No one understands. 'Put on a pair of ear plugs" they say. Not knowing that that is not how things work when one has t. I once used earplugs to go to an event and it made the t. worst. So I never trust the earplugs again.

No need to describe t. as it doesn't help. Everyone has their own situation and we are all different people.

I'm just tired of missing on my life. My childrens life. My husbands life. yes, my husbands life. He has just been awarded one of the highest awards in the NYC Fire Dept. and will be receiving it in June and I WANT TO GO! I don't want to miss it. And I don't know how... NYC, loud bag pippers, music, traffic, etc.... The thought is overwhelming.

Is there a pair of great earplugs/headphones that might work that I am not aware of?? For those with drone/hum t., what helps?

Thank you all. I know you all understand. We sometimes need to let it out. Other times we need to cheer and encourage another. Its just the way it is. Today is one of those days I need uplifting words. Be well.

My only hope is in God. He is my source of strength. I get up and live each day with His help. I pray God gives the scientists wisdom to discover a cure for t. I pray always for all of you here on TinnitusTalk Forum.

 

[OnceUponaTime]

@Autumnly Thanx for the hug.

 

[New Guy]

I wish I knew the answer to your questions. All I can say is you're not alone here and you'll never be.

 

[Autumnly]

I wished I could offer more than just a virtual hug! I'm personally struggling with hyperacusis (sensitivity to noise) and have a variety of different ear plugs and ear muffs, but even they can't protect me from very loud noises. I'm sorry to hear your tinnitus was worsened despite wearing hearing protection! Sometimes they can give us a false sense of security, unfortunately.. There are many people with tinnitus who can still do things like going to the cinema or travel given they wear the right hearing protection but it all comes down to the individual.

Earmuffs I have:

• 3M Peltor X5 / NRR 27db
• 3M Peltor X1A / NRR 31db

Earplugs I have:

• foam earplugs
• earplugs with filters

Other people also like to use noise-canceling headphones, especially while flying. There are also custom molded ear plugs which are supposed to be more comfortable and have better sound quality. For me personally, I know there are (currently) things I wouldn't be able to do even with earplugs without making my tinnitus worse, but I want to stress again that this is really not the case for everyone.

 

[dpdx]

You had H since 2013?

 

[Autumnly]

You had H since 2013?

No, I didn't have any hyperacusis at the beginning. I can't remember when exactly my noise tolerance started to decrease - I think it started to decrease in 2016 - and I had moderate hyperacusis by 2017. I've had severe hyperacusis since August 2017 but it's slowly starting to get better since March.

 

[glynis]

Maybe a video could be taken for you...love glynis

 

[OnceUponaTime]

I wish I knew the answer to your questions. All I can say is you're not alone here and you'll never be.

Thank you so much. I appreciate not feeling alone in this mess. Although I prefer to be encouraging to others but today was rough seeing my daughter cry because I couldn't come with her. For her tender years, she understands much. Always telling me I will get better soon. Ahhh to have the faith of a child. I know God hears her prayers.


This too shall pass.

@glynis Yes, this is what my husband do often. He takes videos for me or we use Persicope and I can see live events. Although I am extremely grateful some part of me still wants to be there present.

 

[OnceUponaTime]

@Autumnly ! Thank you so much for the information. I will take a look at some of these, although since I already had a bad experience with earplugs, it will take all my courage to try it again.

I pray that you recover completely from hyperacusis. Try to rest your ears as much as possible.

Big hug, God bless you.

 

[Richard zurowski]

@OnceUponaTime. Keep with us all you're never walk alone.

 

[Blue28]

Hi @OnceUponaTime

I really just want to say how much I understand your sadness. It's so isolating, wanting so much to be part of things but feeling alone and excluded because of our ears.

I have a 3 year old who is full of life, full of joy. I feel so sad that I can't be the mother I always wanted to be because of my ears. Missing out on so much in her life (school concerts, cinema, parties etc)... It's heartbreaking. And generally just feeling exhausted from the tinnitus, hyperacusis and pain. Sometimes I feel like a stranger looking in on my family's lives and it breaks my heart.

I hope that you find some hearing protection that will help you be part of those happy family moments.

 

[OnceUponaTime]

Keep with us all you're never walk alone.

Hi @Richard zurowski ! How are you?? Thank you for your kind words and for being here.

Sometimes I feel like a stranger looking in on my family's lives and it breaks my heart.

Exactly how I feel! Thank you for understanding. It is heart breaking. I hope you get better from the hyperacusis. I'll keep you in my prayers.

 

[Zug]

I have been on this forum for a while now and have made some nice online friendships over the years.

6.5 years now and all I can say is that it has changed my life immensely. It has been hard at times and other times is ok. It is like a roller coaster ride everyday. One does not know what is next. The way I feel, think, do things, act, etc has been changed in a good and bad way, both. I wish I had never met t. but wishful thinking is for farytales only.

Today my two young daugthers are going to their First ever Irish Step Dance Feis (competitons) in NYC and my 8 year old cried and cried because she wanted me to go with her and I couldn't. (over 1,000 people or more, loud music, etc) Why? How have I come to this place? Thankfully my husband steps up and takes the girls everywhere, but I want to be there too. No one understands. 'Put on a pair of ear plugs" they say. Not knowing that that is not how things work when one has t. I once used earplugs to go to an event and it made the t. worst. So I never trust the earplugs again.

No need to describe t. as it doesn't help. Everyone has their own situation and we are all different people.

I'm just tired of missing on my life. My childrens life. My husbands life. yes, my husbands life. He has just been awarded one of the highest awards in the NYC Fire Dept. and will be receiving it in June and I WANT TO GO! I don't want to miss it. And I don't know how... NYC, loud bag pippers, music, traffic, etc.... The thought is overwhelming.

Is there a pair of great earplugs/headphones that might work that I am not aware of?? For those with drone/hum t., what helps?

Thank you all. I know you all understand. We sometimes need to let it out. Other times we need to cheer and encourage another. Its just the way it is. Today is one of those days I need uplifting words. Be well.

My only hope is in God. He is my source of strength. I get up and live each day with His help. I pray God gives the scientists wisdom to discover a cure for t. I pray always for all of you here on TinnitusTalk Forum.

Go to an audiologist and get molded earplugs.

That's it. Just do it.

Best,
Zug

 

[Bill Bauer]

He has just been awarded one of the highest awards in the NYC Fire Dept. and will be receiving it in June and I WANT TO GO! I don't want to miss it. And I don't know how... NYC, loud bag pippers, music, traffic, etc.... The thought is overwhelming.

What matters is what this award will do for his career. And you will be able to share with him the fruits of that. As for the award itself, I don't think you will miss anything if you don't attend the award ceremony. The payoff does not appear to justify the risk.

 

[Zug]

What matters is what this award will do for his career. And you will be able to share with him the fruits of that. As for the award itself, I don't think you will miss anything if you don't attend the award ceremony. The payoff does not appear to justify the risk.

This is crazy talk.

Go to the awards. Live your life.

 

[Blue28]

Exactly how I feel! Thank you for understanding. It is heart breaking. I hope you get better from the hyperacusis. I'll keep you in my prayers.

Thank you for your kind words. I hope someday soon we get relief from all of this.

 

[Bill Bauer]

This is crazy talk.

Why?

 

[Bill Bauer]

This is crazy talk.

Not an argument.

 

[Robert44]

Hi all
I am back to my old self. I'm listening to music and playing it again, Feel great. I do take precautions. I carry ear plugs with me at all times. Even when I use the vacuum i put them in. I feel we should take all precautions. It isn't worth the risk. When I listen to music in the car I just don't put it loud. I have been exercising a lot and watching what I eat. I do take some supplements like the Apple cider vinegar and beet juice and some vitamins. I think you should go to the awards dinner but be prepared. Get the ear plugs that are made by a Dr. or just wear some good ear muffs. Who cares if you have to wear the ear muffs during the ceremony. I would have gone to the Irish Dance competition. Same thing wear good ear plugs or simply put on the muffs. There are very good ear muffs out there that will protect you ears. They work much better than the plugs. I use them when I mow the lawn for example. (Some of us still mow our own lawns!) You shouldn't be missing out on these great events. Other people there might have other problems like being in a wheel chair or walking with crutches or many other things. I don't even think you would need the muffs if you had a good pair of ear plugs. It's not a loud rock concert. That's a different story. Going to a loud concert or playing in a rock band can me much more harmful than an awards ceremony or a Dance competition. I would try to take all precautions but live your life. All the best, Robert

 

[Bill Bauer]

I am back to my old self.

Have you habituated, or has your T volume decreased?

 

[Autumnly]

I would have gone to the Irish Dance competition. Same thing wear good ear plugs or simply put on the muffs. There are very good ear muffs out there that will protect you ears. They work much better than the plugs. I use them when I mow the lawn for example. (Some of us still mow our own lawns!) You shouldn't be missing out on these great events.

She said she had been to an event before with ear plugs but her tinnitus got worse. Unfortunately some people seem more prone than others to spikes. I don't know if she suffers from hyperacusis or if she had a temporary or permanent spike. But I personally think not everyone will be able to just do everything they want if they wear earplugs without making it permanently worse. I'm glad to hear it's working out for you though! Most people seem to be able to go back to a relatively normal life given they protect their ears in loud situations.

 

[slipware]

I do use ear plugs, not cheap foam, but titanium centre, fitted at a hearing shop, but tbh, they don't really cut out noise much in very loud situations, as bone conduction plays a part in hearing. But I have to say, I DO go to special events, because by not living my life, the tinnitus is beating me, and I love my life, don't want the monster in my head win. What seems worse or at least as bad as in incessant noise in my head, is aural fullness.

 

[Tinker Bell]

I am sorry you are feeling this way.

When you went to the event with earplugs and your tinnitus became worse, was it a permanent spike? Temporary for a few weeks or days? How was your sound anxiety before, during and after the event?

From your profile you mention stress. Do you have a therapist? Tried CBT?

When I first lost my hearing, I was afraid to go anywhere. Afraid I would lose more hearing, that the tinnitus would become worse. I soon realized there was a very clear relationship between my sound anxiety and my tinnitus. I tried out different earplugs and realized that staying home in my quiet house — afraid to go anywhere — was doing far more damage to my mental and physical health than cautiously living my life with ear protection.

What type of earplugs have you tried? Have you looked into custom plugs?

 

[Bill Bauer]

because by not living my life, the tinnitus is beating me

If you live your life and this causes your tinnitus to become debilitating, you will find out the true meaning of the phrase "tinnitus is beating me."

This reminds me of something written by Dave Barry:

You must not be afraid. Oh, sure, you got burned and you got hurt. But that is no reason to give up. You must show the same kind of gumption as the cowboy, who, if he gets thrown off a horse, climbs right back on, and if he gets thrown off again, climbs right back on again, and so on, until virtually all of his brain cells are dead.

 

[Bill Bauer]

What seems worse or at least as bad as in incessant noise in my head, is aural fullness.

This ear fullness might have been gone by now, if not for you insisting to "live your life" because you would like to pretend that you don't have tinnitus.

 

[Tinker Bell]

This ear fullness might have been gone by now, if not for you insisting to "live your life" because you would like to pretend that you don't have tinnitus.

Slipware has had tinnitus since 2012. Should they have spent the last six years avoiding noise on the very slim and unproven chance that the ear fullness would go away?

 

[Bill Bauer]

Should they have spent the last six years

He or she should have paused being reckless for a year or two back in 2012.

 

[Tinker Bell]

He or she should have paused being reckless for a year or two back in 2012.

You are see certain they were reckless? Define reckless, because I think you consider riding in a car reckless.

 

[Tinker Bell]

If you live your life and this causes your tinnitus to become debilitating, you will find out the true meaning of the phrase "tinnitus is beating me."

This reminds me of something written by Dave Barry:

If you are avoiding everything because you are afraid tinnitus might become worse, then you already have debilitating tinnitus. Or debilitating anxiety, depending on how we look at it.

 

[Bill Bauer]

Define reckless, because I think you consider riding in a car reckless.

Reckless: knowing you have T, having a chance to not expose your ears to loud noises (e.g., live music, movie theater, etc.) and choosing to go ahead and take the risk.