Encouraging Therapy Is Making Me Feel Worse

[PeteJ]

A number of members here and even mods at one point have encouraged therapy at one point.

This is making me feel even worse. It makes me feel like NO ONE is listening and I thought if anyone would listen it would be people here.

It's like I am speaking a different language. The more I try to explain, the less I am listened to. If I was less afraid of dying, I would just off myself and be done with it. Yes, therapy would help with those feelings UNTIL I am back in the situation that led to it.

Yes, it is about tinnitus but it's about a situation that is impossible to solve.
I live in a noisy area and really, you should wear hearing protection OCCASIONALLY to protect yourself. That is the consensus here by all. The debate is about frequency.

Anyway, currently, earplugs cause one ear to become extremely painful and muffs irritate my ears, mainly just below where the muscle is. So, when I go outside, downtown, it's often loud, with traffic including potential trucks and ambulances sirens. I bring the muffs with me and try to anticipate loud noise. It's not a good way.

I am stuck in low income housing because I cannot work like this. I can't move because of the system - it is full and there is a long waiting list.

So, I risk getting worse and having spikes or ear pain (hyperacusis?) from being around loud noise which I try to avoid but it is near impossible. People frustrate me by encouraging me to see a therapist.

It is mind boggling why no one recognizes how irrational and unhelpful that is. To even visit someone, I have to figure out how I will get there. :-(

Sigh. This is lengthy and I probably still didn't make the situation clear? :-(

Oh yeah, people perceived my frustration as being insulting or 'refusing help.' I guess that makes sense if they only perceive everything from their perspective.

 

[erik]

We are not trying to frustrate you, just trying to help. Tinnitus is a condition where treatment options and help are limited. I only recommend CBT therapy because I know that it worked for me and probably saved my life when I was paranoid about every sound around me, had severe panic disorder and anxiety. I also had severe hyperacusis at the same time. Over protecting your ears and fear of everyday sounds is far worse than seeking help to combat this negative thinking. It was a battle and the toughest of my life.

Living in fear is not an option. I knew I could not do it without help so I got help. It is not a quick solution but it worked. I also took Xanax XR to calm my nerves.

At some point, you have to realize you cannot go it alone. We are all in the same boat and know how you are feeling though we may be at different points in our tinnitus journey.

 

[PeteJ]

P. S. I want to add, when I really think about it, I think I know why people encourage therapy. My situation is unique in that, my tinnitus, ear pain etc and location among other things is not typical (from what I can tell here). They cannot help or do anything about it nor is it something they can digest.

Some people live in noisy areas but they aren't prevented from wearing plugs if they want to.

I think much of my frustration is because I cannot figure out a solution for moving. That won't solve the tinnitus but lessens a burden even if marginally, is something.

 

[PeteJ]

We are not trying to frustrate you, just trying to help. Tinnitus is a condition where treatment options and help are limited. I only recommend CBT therapy because I know that it worked for me and probably saved my life when I was paranoid about every sound around me, had severe panic disorder and anxiety. I also had severe hyperacusis at the same time. Over protecting your ears and fear of everyday sounds is far worse than seeking help to combat this negative thinking. It was a battle and the toughest of my life.

Living in fear is not an option. I knew I could not do it without help so I got help. It is not a quick solution but it worked. I also took Xanax XR to calm my nerves.

At some point, you have to realize you cannot go it alone. We are all in the same boat and know how you are feeling though we may be at different points in our tinnitus journey.

Do you ever wear earplugs or muffs?

Imagine you are in a large city and hearing protection suddenly causes you pain. How would that affect you and your life?

 

[emmalee]

@PeteJ, I feel that you have made your situation clear. I so wish there was something I could do to help, in fact, I strongly believe that everyone here feels the exact same way.We all want to help you, please believe this.

Therapy does work for some people who are living with tinnitus, this is a fact. My question is this, how do you know it won't work if you don't give it a try, what is there to lose by seeking professional therapy? It may not help as you say. But what if it does?

Your situation is very difficult and I understand how much you are struggling to be understood, just know that you are indeed being heard.

 

[PeteJ]

@PeteJ, I feel that you have made your situation clear. I so wish there was something I could do to help, in fact, I strongly believe that everyone here feels the exact same way.We all want to help you, please believe this.

Therapy does work for some people who are living with tinnitus, this is a fact. My question is this, how do you know it won't work if you don't give it a try, what is there to lose by seeking professional therapy? It may not help as you say. But what if it does?

Your situation is very difficult and I understand how much you are struggling to be understood, just know that you are indeed being heard.

I don't understand how a therapist will help. I think it would be difficult if the only problem was ringing as it's high pitched and loud. But, people here insist their tinnitus is loud and therapy helped them.

But, when I go out, am I supposed to accept some ambulance with a blaring siren to pass me? Drive without plugs or should I wear plugs and muffs and take the severe pain they will inevitably cause?

Most therapists don't come to your place of residence.

 

[erik]

Do you ever wear earplugs or muffs?

Imagine you are in a large city and hearing protection suddenly causes you pain. How would that affect you and your life?

Yes. I wear ear plugs only on occasion when out and about if I know it is going to be loud like going to a loud event or function. I live in a city and work in a city downtown. I generally wear noise canceling headphones when out an about downtown. I listen to relaxing music, inspiring music and/or podcasts.

Occasionally, loud sounds do freak me out but then again I think to myself "what does freaking out about something I have no control over actually mean to me". Nothing really and I move on. Therapy changes your mindset on how you approach things good and bad.

 

[emmalee]

I don't understand how a therapist will help. I think it would be difficult if the only problem was ringing as it's high pitched and loud. But, people here insist their t is loud and therapy helped them.

But, when I go out, am I supposed to accept some ambulance with a blaring siren to pass me? Drive without plugs or should I wear plugs and muffs and take the severe pain they will inevitably cause?

You are not expected to understand how it well help, no one knows what to expect when they begin something that is new, and perhaps even a bit scary. The first step is the most important one. If after a couple of sessions you find it impossible and not helpful then you don't go back.

Most therapists don't come to your place of residence.

This is true, sadly.

Are there any support groups or free clinics, in your area, that you can reach out to?

 

[PeteJ]

Yes. I wear ear plugs only on occasion when out and about if I know it is going to be loud like going to a loud event or function. I live in a city and work in a city downtown. I generally wear noise canceling headphones when out an about downtown. I listen to relaxing music, inspiring music and/or podcasts.

Occasionally, loud sounds do freak me out but then again I think to myself "what does freaking out about something I have no control over actually mean to me". Nothing really and I move on. Therapy changes your mindset on how you approach things good and bad.

I am not talking about getting freaked out over loud noise. I am talking about the option to wear plugs or muffs around loud noise.

Noise cancelling headphones might be an option. Some people advise against it, though?

My 'freaking out' is about having 'abnormal' ears. Could you continue what you do if wearing earplugs caused or seemed to cause extreme pain and discomfort in one or both ears?

 

[erik]

I am not talking about getting freaked out over loud noise. I am talking about the option to wear plugs or muffs around loud noise.

Noise cancelling headphones might be an option. Some people advise against it, though?

My 'freaking out' is about having 'abnormal' ears. Could you continue what you do if wearing earplugs caused or seemed to cause extreme pain and discomfort in one or both ears?

Yes some do advise against it. It is a personal choice. I have been using them for years because I fly a lot and it has not affected my tinnitus one way or another. In my experience, the benefits of noise cancellation and reduction (especially on the plane) outweigh any negatives.

In regards to ear plugs, they should not cause you pain. It is not in their design. If you have pain from ear plugs, than the cause is something else. If ear plugs don't work for you, try a pair of noise canceling headphones for a few days. Even if you turn on the noise canceling and not play anything through them, it reduces the outside noise. If you find it doesn't work for you or you don't like them, you can always return them.

 

[PeteJ]

Yes some do advise against it. It is a personal choice. I have been using them for years because I fly a lot and it has not affected my tinnitus one way or another. In the end, the benefits of noise cancellation and reduction (especially on the plane) outweigh any negatives.

In regards to ear plugs, they should not cause you pain. It is not in their design. If you have pain from ear plugs, than the cause is something else. If ear plugs don't work for you, try a pair of noise canceling headphones for a few days. Even if you turn on the noise canceling and not play anything through them, it reduces the outside noise. If you find it doesn't work for you or you don't like them, you can always return them.

I think I might but the problem is which ones. Some reviewers claim that the 'noise cancellation' on some are poor. Any suggestions?

I agree about the ear plugs but what is causing the pain? I also have had inflammation from wearing them confirmed by doctors who have looked in my ears. Maybe it's from using them too much before, I dunno.

You fly a lot? So, you can go places and t doesn't react or bother you. I wish that was the case for me.

 

[erik]

I think I might but the problem is which ones. Some reviewers claim that the 'noise cancellation' on some are poor. Any suggestions?

I agree about the ear plugs but what is causing the pain? I also have had inflammation from wearing them confirmed by doctors who have looked in my ears. Maybe it's from using them too much before, I dunno.

You fly a lot? So, you can go places and t doesn't react or bother you. I wish that was the case for me.

Yes I travel often. My tinnitus has quiet days and days when it is the loudest blaring thing I hear all day long. I have had it for so long now, most of the time I just don't care. It can still annoy me at times but so do a lot of things. Over my many years, I find tinnitus is unpredictable and it is not worth the mental effort to battle it any more. It is a part of me and here to stay for now. Good or bad, I accept it and live my life. This doesn't mean I don't hope to be rid of it someday. Just until that day comes, I will carry on forward.

Unfortunately, the best noise canceling headphones are the most expensive. I have the Sony wh1000xm3 and Bose QC 35. Both are wireless and Bluetooth but they work extremely well and are consistently the highest rated in every review.

 

[PeteJ]

I wish I could kill myself. Something is always happening to me. Should I tell everyone that talks to me not to be loud. I hate my life now and what happens to me. Therapy won't help because there is no 'calm' reaction to spiking and pain and when there is no evidence of fading.

I have noticed that the vast majority here who talk about that have their own fading and mostly have mild tinnitus. Maybe some have moderate but on top of loud, piercing, high pitched tinnitus, they don't have this type of hyperacusis, ear pain and painful reactions from wearing hearing protection.

 

[another sean]

What model and brand ear muffs did you try wearing?

 

[PeteJ]

What model and brand ear muffs did you try wearing?

I have tried 3M 1100, 3M Ear Soft, Howard Leight green Max LITE and some from a drug store. The max lite seemed the most comfortable but I had severe ear pain last time I wore plugs. I also had inflammation at times usually in one ear worse than the other.

This can't be normal or?

I use muffs now but only sometimes because the left side is really uncomfortable. Dunno why and yes, they are adjustable. They are the Peltor X4A muffs and lots of people like them here but there is one thread about the possible issues they might cause.

I think it would be helpful to have some effective hearing protection I can rely on though? It's good to wear it sometimes, right?? Sigh. :-/

 

[Mister Muso]

I wish I could kill myself. Something is always happening to me. Should I tell everyone that talks to me not to be loud. I hate my life now and what happens to me.

Hi Pete

I'm fairly new here, just been reading a few of your posts and I've commented in your one about earplugs.

But it does sound like you've got severe anxiety which is definitely treatable. There may be limitations to what can be done to treat your hearing problems in a hurry, but most people here seem to take meds for anxiety too. There's nothing wrong with doing that at the same time as practical steps to address the hearing issues directly.

My wife is a psychiatrist, so I wouldn't have any qualms about seeing one if I had to. I appreciate the difficulties of going out if you have severe symptoms. I would say my latest spike has taken mine from mild to moderate, and I'm obviously concerned that they don't become severe. I also have moments when I hate my situation and my bad luck, and I miss the things I've had to give up. We all do here. But you have to find a way somehow.

Currently I take Kalms (Valerian root) which is available from a pharmacist and that calms my anxiety somewhat. You can probably buy generic Valerian a lot cheaper which should be just as effective.

I hope you get some progress and have a better day today.

Graham

 

[Earing]

As far as earplugs go, there is this type called Doc's Proplugs. They do not go into the ear canal, but rather seal the ear like a plunger sealing a toilet. (Crude but very good analogy). They are way more comfortable than foam plugs. They have 2 types. One has a small hole in the plug which allows a wee bit of high frequency through. These are good for musicians, because the sound heard is much more natural. The 2nd type do not have a hole. They block about 20 db. They come in different sizes, so you have to get the right size for your ears. There is a sizing chart that you can hold up to your ear to give you a pretty good idea which ones will fit your ear. There are also fitting kits that let you try them out.
They are not too expensive, and last a very long time. I recommend you get a pair and see it they offer some relief.

Here is their website: https://www.proplugs.com/

The plugs are also good for people with ear problems that need to keep the ears dry, as they seal the ear. Because of this they are offered by some drug stores. Check the list on the website for where to buy them. Hopefully someone is selling them close to you.

This is what they look like. The clear ones have the hole in them for eq. (Originally designed for surfers to allow for eq'ing pressure when under water.)

How they fit into the ear:

Doc's Pro Plugs are the most comfortable plugs I have tried. I wear them all the time. When I drive my car, at the grocery store, movie theatres, music venues etc. They are comfortable enough to wear all day if you want. Give them a try. Where are you located? I could help you locate a dealer close to you.

 

[Earing]

^^^ Note: The Doc's site says the vented plugs block 20 db and the non vented block 25 db.