End of My Rope
- Thread starter dayl
- Start date
MemberAs part of an awareness plan we tried to get some army sites to share our blog on tinnitus.
It's not a secret that ptsd is bad but when you throw tinnitus into the mix the results can be devastating.
Unfortunatly non of the groups were interested, tinnitus is still highly marginalised but working with veterans and their issues one would hope that those peoples priority is to help those in need, obviously not!
Shame!
It's not a secret that ptsd is bad but when you throw tinnitus into the mix the results can be devastating.
Unfortunatly non of the groups were interested, tinnitus is still highly marginalised but working with veterans and their issues one would hope that those peoples priority is to help those in need, obviously not!
Shame!
Sorry about your suffering from bad T, @dayl. I admire your courage & sacrifice to serve your country and for protecting the freedom of people in those war torn country. You have already achieved something many of us had never done. Be proud of yourself. You are a hero in my book.
Please hang in there and fight T in a different way. I have once learned from another war veteran, who replied to my inquiry how to live with T long termed. I never forget the reply from this fighting man. He said 'I am a soldier and I fight for a living. But when it comes to tinnitus, I have learned to accommodate it instead of fighting it". This reply of wisdom from a fighting man has inspired me to look at alternatives dealing with my ultra high pitched T and severe hyperacusis. Instead of confronting and zeroing in on them, I have learned to minimize them and maximize the life force within to pursue the beauty of life outside of T.
T is not something we can rush or will it to go away. Don't fall into the trap of the lies of this T bully. It tells you T is an end game. I fell for the lie a few years back and suffered big time. Now all I can say is that I wasted a lot of mental suffering had I known that I would be living a normal and absolutely enjoyable life despite my ultra high pitch dog whistle T and severe H. My T is so loud and piercingly high pitch that it cuts through almost all sounds, including the jet noise in my last few flights. I can even hear it above the raging rapids in the salmon river I fish. It packs with so much condensed energy, like a laser in a night sky, like a dentist drill with 10 times the pitch, resonating in my head most mornings when I wake up with it.
My hyperacusis turned all normal sounds so loud, so piercingly hurtful as if the ears being drilled. I couldn't stand most sounds, even those from TV, driving, social conversations, not to say cinema movies or parties. Even the soft voice my my wife hurt when spoken too close. Gosh! I tried to protect from these hurtful sounds by wearing ear plugs, but the plugs blocked all outside masking sounds, making the ultra high pitch shrill so unbearably dominant. These two alien tortuous monsters of T & H don't like each other. If I did things to please H, T would kill me, and vice versa. I had no escape from these beasts.
Worst I also had suffered from anxiety and panic disorder for decades prior to T & H. I suffered PTSD after witnessing the accidental death of my only son at 5 year old. He literally bled to death in my arm. What a hell of suffering. So my weakened nerves had no chance against these two devils of T & H, caving into a mental blackhole of relentless anxiety and panic attacks which bring on their own set of horrible symptoms. When these sufferings combined with those from T & H, with depression and sleeplessness, I really didn't know if life could go on with such unbearable sufferings. I had to survive on meds initially, tbh.
I never thought I could stand all that for long But never say never. Today I am living a normal and happy life again and I have written my success story like others do. I list many important points & strategies which have helped me. If you have time, read up as many success stories as you can. It helps to calm you and give you hope. Learn others' insights on how to getting better by fighting T with different approaches instead of confronting it dead on. Just copy success. Have patience and wait out the storm. Your good life can be back. Believe it. Take good care. God bless and speed your recovery.
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/thread...w-i-recovered-from-tinnitus-hyperacusis.3148/
Please hang in there and fight T in a different way. I have once learned from another war veteran, who replied to my inquiry how to live with T long termed. I never forget the reply from this fighting man. He said 'I am a soldier and I fight for a living. But when it comes to tinnitus, I have learned to accommodate it instead of fighting it". This reply of wisdom from a fighting man has inspired me to look at alternatives dealing with my ultra high pitched T and severe hyperacusis. Instead of confronting and zeroing in on them, I have learned to minimize them and maximize the life force within to pursue the beauty of life outside of T.
T is not something we can rush or will it to go away. Don't fall into the trap of the lies of this T bully. It tells you T is an end game. I fell for the lie a few years back and suffered big time. Now all I can say is that I wasted a lot of mental suffering had I known that I would be living a normal and absolutely enjoyable life despite my ultra high pitch dog whistle T and severe H. My T is so loud and piercingly high pitch that it cuts through almost all sounds, including the jet noise in my last few flights. I can even hear it above the raging rapids in the salmon river I fish. It packs with so much condensed energy, like a laser in a night sky, like a dentist drill with 10 times the pitch, resonating in my head most mornings when I wake up with it.
My hyperacusis turned all normal sounds so loud, so piercingly hurtful as if the ears being drilled. I couldn't stand most sounds, even those from TV, driving, social conversations, not to say cinema movies or parties. Even the soft voice my my wife hurt when spoken too close. Gosh! I tried to protect from these hurtful sounds by wearing ear plugs, but the plugs blocked all outside masking sounds, making the ultra high pitch shrill so unbearably dominant. These two alien tortuous monsters of T & H don't like each other. If I did things to please H, T would kill me, and vice versa. I had no escape from these beasts.
Worst I also had suffered from anxiety and panic disorder for decades prior to T & H. I suffered PTSD after witnessing the accidental death of my only son at 5 year old. He literally bled to death in my arm. What a hell of suffering. So my weakened nerves had no chance against these two devils of T & H, caving into a mental blackhole of relentless anxiety and panic attacks which bring on their own set of horrible symptoms. When these sufferings combined with those from T & H, with depression and sleeplessness, I really didn't know if life could go on with such unbearable sufferings. I had to survive on meds initially, tbh.
I never thought I could stand all that for long But never say never. Today I am living a normal and happy life again and I have written my success story like others do. I list many important points & strategies which have helped me. If you have time, read up as many success stories as you can. It helps to calm you and give you hope. Learn others' insights on how to getting better by fighting T with different approaches instead of confronting it dead on. Just copy success. Have patience and wait out the storm. Your good life can be back. Believe it. Take good care. God bless and speed your recovery.
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/thread...w-i-recovered-from-tinnitus-hyperacusis.3148/
Thanks Valeri for the kind words. No I wasn't a super strong man, not a strong man, not even a normal man. I was suffering from anxiety and panic disorder. I had so many phobia and nerve wrecking incidents that normal people would laugh at me. I literally had social phobia that I would feel like fainting with shortness of breath when all eyes are on me. I was house bound for months during the worst of the panic attack disorder. I am not a strong man by any standard. That is why in my success story I exhort the readers that if a panic prone person like me with such wrecked mental stamina can recover from the hell of T & H, have faith that they can too. Just need to learn the right strategies and apply them faithfully, never quitting. Time is on our side if we keep up the fight with positivity, and with what I call the AAA approach - Accept, Adjust and Adapt. When I fight T with this approach, accepting the reality of living with loud T, willing to make adjustment and adapting to the new normal, T becomes much less powerful. When I don't supply negative emotions, T is starved of the fuel to continue to keep up its tyranny on my life. The AAA approach is evident in this post of wisdom from this doctor to another doctor here when he states the need for accepting the 'new normal' by adjusting and adapting to it:
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/curing-tinnitus.4136/page-5#post-40854
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/curing-tinnitus.4136/page-5#post-40854
I'm going to give a 'bloke' answer.
You need something very distracting, something to distract as many sensorial faculties as possible for long as possible while you're going through a spike. For me that's an Xbox game.
You need something very distracting, something to distract as many sensorial faculties as possible for long as possible while you're going through a spike. For me that's an Xbox game.
Oh, god Billy...That is terrible...I'm sorry Billy, I have a daughter and I have that fear everyday. Jesus, accept my condolences Billy. You're a strong man Billy. I wish you well.
Thank you Danny. Much appreciated. It was quite a while ago when I lost him in that freak accident. After a year or more of intense psychiatric counselling, I have survived the tragedy and now have fond memory of him. Like Eric Clapton's song about his deceased son, we will meet in Heaven some day and I hope he knows my name. Enjoy your daughter. Must be an angel of joy to you. God will protect and watch over her.
- Aug 29, 2015
- 7,069
- Tinnitus Since
- 2004
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Meniere's Disease
Genevieve
Member
Hi Billie, maybe I am going to say something stupid, but I think that people who have a high level of anxiety or sensitivity are the people who love life the most and maybe can cope better at the end than "normal people" even with horrible illness ( T & H) just because they love life so much! I don't know if it makes sense but that's what myself I feel, genevieve
Hi Billie, maybe I am going to say something stupid, but I think that people who have a high level of anxiety or sensitivity are the people who love life the most and maybe can cope better at the end than "normal people" even with horrible illness ( T & H) just because they love life so much! I don't know if it makes sense but that's what myself I feel, genevieve
No that is not stupid thought. It makes sense in some cases. For example, a person who is used to illnesses and had learned way to live with them will likely have less trauma and more accommodating when another new illness surface. But a person with perfect health when hit with a sudden and serious illness can be quite demoralized. But of course, there are infinite variations there among people due to different backgrounds and circumstances, and my above statement by no means apply to all cases.
I'm a bit confused by this. At least in the US the VA spends over a billion dollars a year in tinnitus related compensation. It's a 10% disability rating per ear, so 20% disability rating for life. But they seem to push for TRT and things like that. I don't mean to detract from the issue, I just think the money the VA spends could be better allocated towards looking for a cure or a real treatment.
Meanwhile I get mine from work when I followed every safety precaution and more and I get a "Welp, have a nice life!".
Tks for the heads up. Appreciate it. Also, no shit. Do you suggest an alternative plan for my health care?
Yea..CBT should help my H, RT, facial spasms and neuralgia..all that I take clonazepam for. (and it helps)Tks though....
Why don't you just pack and, like, go away. Seek attention somewhere else. Far away as possible.
EXCERPT FROM THE CHAT BOX:
Dana: Some good news i have: Markku banned Atlantis! Hip hip hooray! I would have found out sooner, but unfortunately Markku is sick, in urgent care right now.
Zora: @Dana thank you
Zora: I just hope invictus is ok
Markku: @Dana, thanks for informing the others but one correction: I was today, tomorrow most likely going back and have that gastroscopy and maybe IV fluids -- currently feel half dead, barely hydrated since water doesn't stay down etc. God it's been years since I last felt this bad, but I wanted to come home for the night since I hate hospitals.
@dayl see, dayl, I told you Atlantis will be banned, nobody knew he is mentally sick and can talk like that, otherwise he would have been banned long time ago. He wasn't exactly "representative" for the members of this site. Atlantis was just "an accident".
@dayl see, dayl, I told you Atlantis will be banned, nobody knew he is mentally sick and can talk like that, otherwise he would have been banned long time ago. He wasn't exactly "representative" for the members of this site. Atlantis was just "an accident".
bill 112
Member
@dayl hey man I really feel your pain and sorrow but just stay strong my friend and God be good we will have some treatments sooner rather than later.My T story began effectively in January of 2012,scared depressed everything you can think of I was feeling!I eventually pulled myself back together and got on with life,and if I'm honest I was never happier!Then in January 2014 a sudden noise exposure ruined all that for me resulting in devastating T and H.I was suicidal I really really was,but again I refused to give up without a fight,I pushed and pushed for a life and after two years my H had reduced by 80% and my T was barely audible.I got myself a girlfriend and things started to look up for me again when suddenly my beloved father died in front of me.Heartbroken and numb is only a smudge of how I felt that day and at his coffin I promised him that I won't let T and H dictate my life,that I won't let it win,that I will do him proud,it's what he would of wanted,he seen what I had been through and all he wished for was for me to have a life again.So I did and things were great for me,I was honestly never happier,that was until my condition worsened suddenly in February,unbearable T and H,I mean soul destroying!I hate saying it but suicide seemed like the only answer.Last week I wrote my farewell note to my family,I was going to do it,I'd had enough.I looked to the heavens to my father and told him I was sorry for failing him but that I had reached my limit.As I walked to the door at 4 in the morning I begged my father for a sign that I should stay,but I got no such sign.That was until just as I opened the door to leave my girlfriend woke up randomly and caught me just as I was leaving.I froze and told her what I was planning to do in floods of tears.I like to look at what happened that night as a divine intervention,because if my girlfriend hadn't of woken when she did I'd most likely be dead now,and would have I regretted it,absolutely!I take it as a sign of hope for the future,that one day and hopefully soon we will have relief,that my father sent a sign that night that it was not my time and that better days are to come,and as always I will keep fighting till that day comes!!
I know the pain and anger. Five audiologists, one doctor, one ENT, one neurologist, and a therapist--no relief. All I can say is you are not alone. Even though you are far away, you are right here with me. I love you man. One day at a time, we will all get through this together.
- May 16, 2017
- 3,754
- Tinnitus Since
- 04/2011
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Syringing + Somatic tinnitus from dental work
I been practicing mindfulness when getting into bed. I think that it may be a solution to being placed into a medicated state of nothing. Stress and tinnitus are best friends. I'm keeping a log of my mindfulness. I shared some so far and will share updates.
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