Hello, folks. There's no real point or conclusion and the end of this text, I just need to vent some steam in a situation that to me still seem totally unreal.
I've had mild to moderate high pitched tinnitus in my left ear for about ten years. About five years ago it started bothering me so much that I got a hearing aid with masker. Hearing tests from this period was within normal range/values.
Then, about a year or so after getting the hearing aid, I started having periods of muffled hearing, unbearably loud and intrusive tinnitus. These symptoms would always subside after a few weeks, but it would leave me scared and confused, not knowing the underlying cause. Two specialists and MRIs later, and still no answer.
For about a year there was no sign of this coming back, until may this year. Slowly, over a couple of days, I noticed this feeling of pressure and ultimately muffled hearing again, alongside roaring tinnitus so loud that nothing could mask it. I have never been so scared in my entire live, and I was contemplating admitting myself to a psyciatric hospital. It was either that or ending it there and then.
Days became weeks, and weeks became months, and for the first time the symptoms would not subside, although the tinnitus got a little better/lower. So yeah: Absolute torture from May to late August.
A week ago I went to a third specialist, who - when I told him about my history of symptoms, immediately suspected Meniere's in its initial stages, as I have no history of vertigo or dizziness. I'm already very depressed by my current symptoms, and have difficulty coming to terms with them now being permanent. And the more I read about Meniere's, the more likely it seems that not only are these symptoms permanent, they will become progressively worse. WORSE? I am barely dealing with the the current situation as it is (suicidal), and now I have to brace myself waiting for this to get worse? Most likely more hearing loss parallelled with louder tinnitus. I could not come up with a grimmer outlook even if I tried. I'm truly terrified, partly because of the upredictable nature of this disease, and partly because this is forcing me to prepare for death if this get's any worse.
I've had mild to moderate high pitched tinnitus in my left ear for about ten years. About five years ago it started bothering me so much that I got a hearing aid with masker. Hearing tests from this period was within normal range/values.
Then, about a year or so after getting the hearing aid, I started having periods of muffled hearing, unbearably loud and intrusive tinnitus. These symptoms would always subside after a few weeks, but it would leave me scared and confused, not knowing the underlying cause. Two specialists and MRIs later, and still no answer.
For about a year there was no sign of this coming back, until may this year. Slowly, over a couple of days, I noticed this feeling of pressure and ultimately muffled hearing again, alongside roaring tinnitus so loud that nothing could mask it. I have never been so scared in my entire live, and I was contemplating admitting myself to a psyciatric hospital. It was either that or ending it there and then.
Days became weeks, and weeks became months, and for the first time the symptoms would not subside, although the tinnitus got a little better/lower. So yeah: Absolute torture from May to late August.
A week ago I went to a third specialist, who - when I told him about my history of symptoms, immediately suspected Meniere's in its initial stages, as I have no history of vertigo or dizziness. I'm already very depressed by my current symptoms, and have difficulty coming to terms with them now being permanent. And the more I read about Meniere's, the more likely it seems that not only are these symptoms permanent, they will become progressively worse. WORSE? I am barely dealing with the the current situation as it is (suicidal), and now I have to brace myself waiting for this to get worse? Most likely more hearing loss parallelled with louder tinnitus. I could not come up with a grimmer outlook even if I tried. I'm truly terrified, partly because of the upredictable nature of this disease, and partly because this is forcing me to prepare for death if this get's any worse.