Feeling Desperate...

#62
I agree with Ed 100% that his suggestions will help you overcome this fight or flight mode that your brain is engaged in right now. When my T started I lost 30 lbs, could not sleep but a couple hours at a time and heard my T all of the time. Tried all the natural supplements with no appreciable changes. My Doc gave me a prescription called Ambien so I could get some quality sleep. Also I felt like a wreck and prescribed a drug called xanax which would mellow you out. Went on youtube and listened to all of Julian Cowan Hill clips on how to get well from Tinnitis and recieved much comfort from his suggestions. Until I started talking about T I could not believe how many of my friends and relatives have T and have excepted and habituated to it. What worked for Ed, myself and most of the people on this forum is to keep your brain busy, exercise to reduce stress and to tire your body for better sleep and keep sounds of nature, classical music, etc in the background particularly at night so you dont focus on your T. Time is your friend and eventually you can ween off or reduce the meds that you take and live a normal life for you wont pay much attention to your T and it will fade into the background. You will be alright !!!!! I have friends with terminal diseases so im not going to let this sound get me down....Last thing protect your ears from any loud noise for that may damage ears and make T spike or become worst......
 
#63
I have been awake all night and I feel as though I am at breaking point. This has to be the lowest point in my life and I can't see a way out of this living hell. What have my family done to deserve this? Please help
 
#65
Jaybeee, your family hasn't done anything to deserve this and neither have you. I don't know how long you've had tinnitus but I will tell you in my 6 years of having it, I continue to have my good days and bad and what gets me through the rough times is the hope that tomorrow will be better. Don't give up hope!
 
#66
@GregCA I do. I have Valium, and some type of sleeping tablet that I haven't dared take yet. I have to be up in three hours to function as a mother so taking a med now (its 4.40 am) is probably not an option. This is my worst night so far.
 
#68
You learn to adjust to it as I did. While the intensity is still the same, my reaction has changed. You learn to accept it and live with it. Easier said than done, I know, but it does happen in time. In the meantime, consider a sound machine for your nightstand and listen to masking sounds that work for you. For me (and many others) it's crickets. Consider talking to your doctor and asking for his/her recommendation. You need your sleep.
 
#69
@Michael B i had slept quite well the last two nights. Don't know why tonight is so bad. I did feel rather more anxious when I came to bed. My anxiety fluctuates. And I have been using sounds at night all along. If I didn't share a bed with hubby I would probably use a meditation YouTube right now that seems to help sometimes
 
#70
Honestly you sound better than I did at 6 weeks! All of the questions about tinnitus, all of the unknowns about this condition just adds to the anxiety I know. The secret to your success includes getting a good night's sleep (well maybe not tonight!) but tomorrow :)
 
#73
@Jaybeee definitely take a Valium if you are struggling.
Try to get out and do something - go for a drive, go for a walk, get out of the house. Call a friend or even a crisis line (not sure what they are called in the U.K but in Australia they are Lifeline).
Honestly I know it's hard, but you just have to distract yourself.
Mask the tinnitus, stop listening for it.
 
#74
Hey @Jaybeee

I totally agree with Samantha's suggestions... You need to shift your focus and keep as busy as you can, mentally and physically, so you will drain the T out...

You are only six weeks into it, you will be amazed to see, if you work actively towards lessening your emotional response to the T sensation, how fast you could improve your reaction to it..

There are many ways to tackle T, but it is mainly a trial and error procedure, as it is a very subjective condition, so I suggest you to not give up and be active about how to lessen this condition...

I wish you well.. Take care of yourself and your ears...
 
#77
@Kelvin @Lorenzo74 @Samantha R @glynis thank you all for your support. I don't know what it is about the mornings (apart from no sleep whatsoever) that have a devastating effect on me. I can't see any way out of this hole I'm in. My neighbour came around to sort me out. I took another Valium (just 5 mg in total) and felt much calmer. I know they are not a long term solution but for now I can't concern myself too much about that. It's the only way through right now. This morning gave me the push I needed to start taking my AD. Again, I'm terrified about them worsening T but I don't see I have a choice now. I'm not going to get better anytime soon without them. Let's hope I made the right decision.

kelvin I did phone samaritans In desperation before you suggested it, but thanks for that.

Xx
 
#78
@Jaybeee, there's a lot of good advice on here. The intense feelings you're going through are awful, but you're only 6 weeks in. You're showing signs of catastrophic thinking (I think every person who's signed up here has experienced) which CBT may help. Your thoughts when you're distressed immediately go to the worst case scenarios and then your whole limbic system gets riled up making you feel depressed. Speak to your GP about a short term course of meds to get you through, as others have suggested.

You only need a pixel of light to give you hope and then your whole situation can change. You'd be surprised what humans can go through and look back on as having got through. You're in good company because we all feel your pain.
 
#80
@Jaybeee,
You have done the best thing starting your AD meds and valium as needed.
You have made the first step and thats always the hardest.
Dont look back now and dwell on the past and look forwards to a lovely summer with your family...
We are here around the clock to support you so relax and go at your own pace under no pressure.
So proud of you taking that first step and you should be too.....lots of love glynis
 
#81
Jaybeee said:
@Kelvin @Lorenzo74 @Samantha R @glynis thank you all for your support. I don't know what it is about the mornings (apart from no sleep whatsoever) that have a devastating effect on me. I can't see any way out of this hole I'm in. My neighbour came around to sort me out. I took another Valium (just 5 mg in total) and felt much calmer. I know they are not a long term solution but for now I can't concern myself too much about that. It's the only way through right now. This morning gave me the push I needed to start taking my AD. Again, I'm terrified about them worsening T but I don't see I have a choice now. I'm not going to get better anytime soon without them. Let's hope I made the right decision.

kelvin I did phone samaritans In desperation before you suggested it, but thanks for that.

Xx
Click to expand...

Good to hear @Jaybeee
The Samaritans are a wonderful organisation.
When anyone gets that low it is almost impossible to see whats up and whats down.
You can do this, you are far stronger than you even dare imagine.
Share your problems with those close and who love you.
There are much better days to come...X
 
#82
Jaybeee, I highly recommend the book "Back in Control" - it's written by a spine doctor about chronic pain management (he also had Tinnitus). I suggest you get the ebook and start reading immediately.

Stress, negativity, emotion --- and yes, although Tinnitus sucks - "catastrophic" thinking ... physically worsens the T and reinforces the negative neural pathways.

Get the book and follow the instructions. Otherwise you will spiral down the cycle of insane stress -->> worse T ---> even more stress!!! ---> extreme fight or flight-focus on T ---> apocalypse confirmed!!!! ---> completely overwhelmed nervous system, crazy T.

You need to break the cycle and get back in control. You need to practice mindfulness and get after this thing.

Also according to the book, sufficient sleep is needed and beneficial - I mean of course. 7-8 hours is needed for low stress and optimal cognitive function. If your T is worse after a single day of adequate sleep, that's a coincidence and red herring.
 
#84
More catastrophic thinking --- no, not really. It's more like habit and impulse - you can build them up, and tear them down. If every morning you shoot up and then calculate how loud your T is, you are basically building a habit that will ensure you will be doing that years from now.

Just relax. Read that ebook. It's like $10 and you're talking about life being over, you do the math. No, I'm not a shill either. Don't try to 'avoid' thinking about it --- it's well known in psychology that trying NOT to think about something makes you think about it x 1000. DON'T THINK ABOUT WHITE ELEPHANTS. For instance. Don't try to suppress your feelings. Just acknowledge them. Get bored of them. Relax your shoulders. Focus on your breathing. Meditate a little. Try to stay calm and relaxed. Baby steps.

The idea is not to have a panic/ anxiety attack. You need to be aware of your mental processes and try to grab hold. Hell at this point is seems like you need a distraction, any distraction, in day to day life. Hell, maybe even take up BJJ, many women do that. When you're rolling around on the mat in martial arts (or whatever distraction you choose) - I'll bet you a large sum you sure as hell won't be thinking about your T.
 
#85
Jaybeee said:
@PeterParker oh god, r u suggesting my stress will cause permanent damage?
Click to expand...
technically yes but if this was a major problem people would never recover from panic disorders or serious anxiety states and then go on to lead useful happy lives, and actually people do that all the time.

Stress is bad for you, but ironically, being too aware of that when already in a state of anxiety is just going to give you something else to worry about obsessively. The best thing to do is commit to and stick to a program of healthy stress-reduction activities, and then rest assured that you're doing the best you can and will eventually be fine. For me, that program while at the height of anxiety was something like: 15 mins meditation 2x a day, 30 mins vigorous exercise 3-5x a week at least, forcing myself to read quietly for 30-45 mins a night.

Since sort of turning the corner on a lot of this stuff, I tend to slack on many of those things, because life gets in the way.
 
#87
@undecided
Not sure where I wrote take a Valium and immediately after go for a drive... anyway....
At least in Australia, the bottles come with a big sticker saying not to drive or operate machinery so it's kind of obvious... But just in case anyone misconstrued my post - DO NOT take a benzodiazepine or any medication that is a sedative then operate a vehicle.
Also I was not advocating talking on the phone while driving, in case that was misunderstood as well.
 
#88
Jaybeee
I rarely post in this forum but I stop in time to time. I (we) have all been where you are, scared, depressed and devastated. It sounds like your T came on suddenly with no known reason. I am in my second fight with T. The first one was 12 years ago after an hour of exposure to VERY loud noise. My T was a very loud piercing sound with ringing/hissing/humming fullness and pain. I was so devastated I lost my job and stayed in bed for 3 months with a sound machine to drown out the noise. But guess what, it SLOWLY faded away, and after about 18 months, it was totally gone. I don't mean I couldn't hear it anymore, I mean it faded away, gone.

I am now suffering a 2nd fight with T from going to an outdoor church concert from a local band about 6 months ago. I was always careful with loud noise and stayed out of the main speakers sound, dancing with my wife off to the side. Well, the last song (of course) it got loud, and 2 ladies about 6 feet from me decided to scream as loud as the could. That started my second fight with T. I have good days and bad days (mentally) but the T has faded a lot in 6 months.
I expect at least another 6 months for it to fade to the point I don't notice it, but I fully believe it will go completely away.

I don't believe your T is permanent, and will fade away over time. It just might take months, but I truly believe you will have your silence back.
 
#90
Samantha R said:
Not sure where I wrote take a Valium and immediately after go for a drive... anyway....
At least in Australia, the bottles come with a big sticker saying not to drive or operate machinery so it's kind of obvious... But just in case anyone misconstrued my post - DO NOT take a benzodiazepine or any medication that is a sedative then operate a vehicle.
Also I was not advocating talking on the phone while driving, in case that was misunderstood as well.
Click to expand...

You haven't had tinnitus long @Samantha but you give some great advice. Please keep up the splendid work....
Michael
 

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